Katy Perry Didn’t Get The Memo That Everyone’s Supposed To Be Naked

August 26th, 2013 // 18 Comments

There are Sasquatches accusing their soon-to-be ex-husbands of being crack addicts going on right now, so here’s Katy Perry to wrap up the VMAs because literally nothing else important happened at them. (You read that right.) In fact, I’m only posting these because of the GIF below that as soon as you’ll see, you’ll wonder why I put all these words in your way. I’ll shut up now:

Via Guyism:

Katy Perry Bouncing Boobs VMAs


I honestly shouldn’t have even bothered embedding Katy Perry’s performance because literally everything you could possibly need to see is in that GIF, but here you go anyway in case you wanted to be bored out of your fucking face. Ten seconds in, I already started missing Ol’ Lizard Tongue. True story.

Photos: Getty


  1. Katy Perry put on the tasteful and reserved performance of the evening…seriously, I just wrote that.

  2. Katy Perry Sports Bra Boxing Shorts VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t watch the VMAs (for about a decade now) so I’m wondering, why is Pink one of Katy Perry’s back-up dancers?

  3. Does Katy fashion herself some kind of soldier/fighter/badass? Sorry, you’re not. Not even in the slightest. You don’t even date badass men so you get some badassness by proxy.

    That gif was perfect btw.

  4. Katy Perry Sports Bra Boxing Shorts VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you think Barak Obama is going to be pissed when he finds out Michelle is a back-up dancer for Katy Perry?

  5. Katy Perry Sports Bra Boxing Shorts VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    She told the tattoo artist to ink the ancient Sanskirt words for “Bravery” and “Inner Beauty” on her arm. It actually says, “Why the fuck are you looking here? Boobs are to the right.”

  6. guest

    Blech, is “game over” now a boxing term? She is a snooze. All that build up and Miley the skank stole it with her vileness and Justin stole it with talent. I seriously turned it off before this because I knew she wouldn’t deliver. I can watch my own boobs bounce everyday, no reason to lose sleep :)

    • malaka

      all valid points, but now i’m only curiously interested in seeing your boobs. because in all fairness, miss perry’s are quite spectacular and if your own are at all comparable, well…..
      show em dem titties!!!!

  7. it had to be said

    Report: Lamar Odom missing for past three days, feared to be on ‘drug binge’

    When the Kardashians are staging an intervention for you, you’re screwed.

  8. To quote Dave Attel, “them titties ain’t retarded!”

  9. cc

    This is the only part of this show I watched…just to reaffirm my belief that she can neither sing nor dance.

  10. ” Ok now someone punch me in the vagina!”


    Hey did anyone perform at this travesty of a “music awards” show that DIDN’T require some highly-choreographed dancing bullshit and lip-synching? You remember…we used to call them BANDS.

  12. freebie

    No need for musical or singing talent nowadays. Just don’t put any clothes on, wiggle around and stick your tongue out. Now that’s talent and unfortunately, all younger people want to see today.

  13. Mike

    I don’t think Katy Perry takes herself too seriously. At least I hope. Lady Gaga is another story, and her music is just lame.

  14. malaka

    not even a sports bra can contain that massive jiggle

  15. bob

    just want to see those babies naked. man, bet they rock

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