Katy Perry: ‘Look at These, You’re Fired’

May 20th, 2011 // 96 Comments

The Smoking Gun has obtained Katy Perry‘s 45-page-long tour rider loaded with demands for glass door refrigerators, “perspex modern style” coffee tables and ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING CARNATIONS. Also included are frighteningly specific instructions for her drivers that have to be from experience:

- The driver will not start a conversation with the client.
- The driver will not talk to the clients guests or fans.
- The driver will never assume, always ask if in doubt.
- Do not stair at the backseat thru the rearvieuw mirrow.
- Do not ask for autographs or pictures, and especially not while driving!

Why do I get the feeling Katy’s been in several situations where a driver wrecked the car staring at her chest through the rearview only to ask for an autograph waiting for the paramedics to arrive? Because, honestly, I don’t think anything short of hiring a goddamn robot is going to stop that. And even then. “Good afternoon, Miss Katy Perry. Beep boop. I am J-6, your driving robot for the day. Please fasten your seat- beep boop whoa those are giant titties.” *drives off cliff*

Photo: WENN

superficial

  1. NVG

    BITCHY FEMALE DRIVER

    Problem solved.

  2. Katy Perry Breasts
    Colitis
    Commented on this photo:

    face

  3. Charlie S

    I don´t know about the rest of you,
    but if I wanna see bigbreasted and
    talentless, I just watch reruns of
    THE GIRLS OF THE PLAYBOY MANSION.

    Or maybe I´ll just GO to the PM

  4. Jim Shorts

    Stair??? Really? Is she that illiterate or hiring people who are that illiterate? How about trying “stare” instead of something you step on?

  5. Stacelle

    Honestly? And I like Katy. There’s really absolutely no reason to mistreat people. That list is condescending and humiliating. All people need to treat all people better, despite who they are, where they come from and how much money they have in their bank account. Shame on you, Katy. I’m truly disappointed.

    A disenchanted fan.

  6. Katy Perry Breasts
    carl
    Commented on this photo:

    High dosage birth control pills and enough stuffing to do four Turkeys!

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