Katy Perry’s Breasts Must Be Contained To Protect Football

Because America is the greatest country on earth, right now you can bet on whether or not Katy Perry will show any cleavage during her Super Bowl halftime show. Except judging by these pics of her at yesterday’s Pepsi press conference, she’s probably going to keep that shit under wraps because the Super Bowl is a family show. Spousal abuse, child abuse, and cheating are cool, but God forbid little Timmy sees the tops of mammary glands instead of a perfectly natural boner pill commercial where elderly men spit in the face of God so they can still bone Nana. It’d be chaos.