Katy Perry: ‘Russell Brand Was Defending My Special Place’

Before we dive back into Lindsay Lohan’s Fucking Idiot Parade, another drug addict made the news this weekend. Russell Brand was arrested for battery at LAX on Friday after attacking a photographer near a security checkpoint. Katy Perry later took to Twitter to defend her man/push the story his attorney cooked up:

If you cross the line & try an put a lens up my dress, my fiancé will do his job & protect me. #standbyyourman #don’tfuckwiththeBrands.

Photographers were NOT trying to take pictures of Katy Perry’s chest. HA! Good one. Now I really do believe Russell Brand has her hooked on drugs. I mean, seriously, he already trained her to be a walking blowjob dispenser, how hard could it be to add crack to that equation? Which brings us to my thesis: If I talk Katy into rehab, how much naked boob do I get? One? Just some areola? Undertit? We’re talking about a woman’s life, dammit!

NOTE: Is that Carla Gugino? Jesus, maybe we should build a fence around England.

Photos: Getty