Katy Perry & Russell Brand Are Probably Getting A Divorce

UPDATE [12/30/2011]: TMZ reports Russell Brand has filed for divorce. More after the holiday.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand apparently spent Christmas apart this year after getting in a “massive fight” which seems unusual because you’d just assume a Christian and a sex addict heroin junkie would be the key to a successful marriage. Also, goose monstering. Us Magazine reports:

Which explains why, come Dec. 25, the multi-platinum singer was snapped splashing in the Pacific Ocean off Kauai — sans wedding ring. [Ed. Note: We’ll have these pics next week unless I get robbed by one of my johns again. – SW] Meanwhile, British comic Brand, 36, was catching up with a pal in a pub in chilly Coverack, Cornwall.
Though the pair denied divorce rumors in November, sources say trouble is brewing. “They haven’t split up just yet, but things are not good,” says the first source. “The fighting is getting worse.”
At issue? Among other things, explains another source: “Katy doesn’t think Russell respects her parents’ Christian beliefs or her friends.”

Keep in mind, Katy Perry’s parents aren’t just Christians, but evangelical Christians (Read: The batshit crazy kind.) who literally believe that God compels them to speak in gibberish when he’s not warning them of the Satanic pull of Lucky Charms:

“Speaking in tongues is as normal to me as ‘Pass the salt.’ It’s a secret, direct prayer language to God.” Perry, 25, adds that her dad usually speaks in tongues while her mom plays interpreter. “That’s their gift,” she explains.
“I wasn’t able to say I was lucky because my mother would rather us say that we were blessed, and she also didn’t like that lucky sounded like Lucifer.”

On the other hand, Russell Brand starred in Hop and pretended to occupy Wall Street, so he’s really in no place to judge anybody. Frankly, he should kiss these people’s feet for not repeatedly buffeting him about the face and neck as is their legal right for those offenses, not to mention all the times he’s seen their daughter’s giant breasts naked. Yes, the meek shall inherit the Earth, but there should probably be a line at just giving away free boob treasure to any Limey who floats ashore on a raft made of heroin. That’s just me.

Photos: Splash News, WENN