Katy Perry (Probably) Broke Up Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart

May 29th, 2013 // 24 Comments
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“You’ll never let a director lick your pussy, right?”
“Whatsha pushy?”

We went down this road before the last time Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson broke up because she let the director of Snow White and The Huntsman lick her emotionless vagina in the backseat of a car, but Lainey Gossip has some diligent reporting on the likelihood that Katy Perry is probably getting SparkleDicked already, if not the direct cause of the break-up. Which is stirring up all kinds of shit considering she has the same publicist as Kristen Stewart, so if you’re into that level of high gossip tomfuckery, definitely give it a read. And if you’re not, then what the hell are you even doing here?

I’m joking! I’m joking. You’re here for the tit photos. Right this way, sir…

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Cock Dr

    Because this is the place for baseless speculation and rude opinions I’ll put this out:
    Katy probably smells better than Kristen but Kristen is the much better lay.

  2. Sebastian

    The opening joke might have been funny if she hadn’t been married to a sex addict.

  3. Katy Perry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks awful from behind: flat ass, vertebrae sticking out everywhere, meatballs (moles) big enough to have X-Games on… But she does have some thick thighs (yay!) and nice tits (more yay!).

  4. Smapdi

    Heh, good for him – nailing someone with boobs and a butt should give his ex body insecurity issues for a good long while – nice revenge fuck. I’ll give him points for this (since he’ll never get any for his acting).

  5. just say'n

    What guy doesn’t perfer full fun bags over mosquito bites?

  6. anon

    Meh….it’s not like Robert took Kristen back anyway. I pretty sure Twilight execs paid him a buttload of extra cash to stand next to her smelly ass and make nice.

    Kristen was just told to STFU and try not to f*ck publicly for a couple months if she still wanted a career.

  7. JC

    I assume there’s a decent overlap between Twihards and Katy Perry fans. Will this cause some sort of sparkly holy war, choking our rivers with the broken and bloodied bodies of 12-year-old girls?

  8. Katy Perry Bikini
    under no illusions
    Commented on this photo:

    very fuckable , without 5 fingers of scotch !!!

  9. Mongo like titties. Mongo like pretty white butt. Mongo like Katy Perry. Mongo want Katy Perry.

  10. ace11

    I believe Rupert broke them up

  11. Robb7

    RoPa is way too ignorant and shy to get with someone as fuck-forward as KP. He’s far more comfortable being whipped and licked by that whiter-than-white, fake vampire he worshiped.

  12. EricLr

    Tom Cruise needs that publicist.

  13. Rasputin's Evil Twin?

    What the fuck is going on in the first photo? It looks like Candid Photo Day at Awkard High got out of hand.

  14. Broke up the fake relationship that was just for those shitty Twilight movies, no way…

  15. vivian

    if Robert is fucking katy, that is to much. how does any one know how Kristen smell last year it was ROBERT CAST FROM twilight that said he smell. i believe he has fucked katy, and many more
    one of his legs is longer then the other so i wonder what that feel like

  16. Katy Perry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


  17. Katy Perry Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, incredible body!!

  18. Katy Perry Bikini
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Crack kills.

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