I’ve accused accurately predicted with precision gynecological skills celebrities of being pregnant with way less of a protruding stomach – I’m pretty sure Selena Gomez‘s is concave. – so I have absolutely no qualms about saying Russell Brand booted a heroin-baby into Katy Perry. Why else would she show up to the MTV EMAs with the only reason she exists completely covered up? It’s because they’re even more gigantic on account of the heroin-baby. That, or she secretly replaced them with Bible verses like she planned all along I’LL KILL YOU!!
Photos: Getty, WENN
Rico Jones | November 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Firsties!
cdub | November 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm
First! Anxiety lifted.
cdub | November 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm
doh. Anxiety resumes ***looking for my meds***
TomFrank | November 7, 2011 at 5:42 pm
http://www.memehumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Thought-He-Was-First-e1319147650157.jpg
TomFrank | November 7, 2011 at 5:44 pm
http://www.memehumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Thought-He-Was-First-e1319147650157.jpg
JB | November 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Justin Beiber did it!
asfasdf | November 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm
She’s probably just getting fat.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Kudos to fembot engineers for building a working reproductive system, but who wants to get their fembot pregnant?
Also, fugly. always has, always will.
vitobonespur | November 7, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Sorry, Richard, I think she’s pretty cute. Looks like she’d be loads of fun…in the rack and elsewhere. Her smile looks mischievous plus she has such lovely mams.
boing | November 7, 2011 at 2:40 pm
usually pretty hot – gross in these pics…
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 3:17 pm
you dudes are bedazzled by big tits and quarter inch thick makeup. she’s a dog faced erection killer.
Chauncey | November 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm
And what if that bump is nothing more than the remnants of a Double-Double with animal style fries, a two-day old microwave burrito and a plate of nachos that’s been marinading in a mixture of Jagermeister and heroin residue?
Would she still be cute enough to follow into the bathroom?
TomFrank | November 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I didn’t know they had In-N-Outs in Northern Ireland.
Weirdo | November 7, 2011 at 4:31 pm
I think she’s cute too. I’d love to bury my pole in her ass and give her a butt baby!
Maria | November 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Richard, I’m a woman and I think she is pretty. I would love to look like her. And I can tell you right now, most men would NOT kick her out of their bed.
BeckyS | November 7, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Not pregnant, just dumpy.
maeby | November 7, 2011 at 2:03 pm
nah she has on tight panty hose (the middle part leaves a bumpy trail). baby bumps and panty hose are incredibly uncomfortable. She’s just got the bloats.
Heather | November 7, 2011 at 2:03 pm
She night want to get some better Spanx cause what she’s got on isn’t working.
Pat | November 7, 2011 at 2:12 pm
A bout of violent anus-chafing diarrhea will bring that right down.
glassman | November 7, 2011 at 2:13 pm
It’s truly amazing how far a nice set of breasts will get you……I mean, really.
vitobonespur | November 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm
“Of course I’m a natural redhead. Can’t you tell?”
OnTheRealThough | November 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Hmmmm…ladies, who would you rather father your child – Travie McCoy or Russell Brand???
My God…
Help | November 7, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Just dumpy.
cc | November 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm
she is seriously starting to resemble an oompa loompa
Chauncey | November 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Here’s where I start saying she is a no talent tramp with a beer gut…
Anon | November 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Yeah not pregnant that girdle or whatever she is wearing just isn’t cutting it. She needs an industrial strength one to hide that beer gut. She better give Kirstie Alley a call.
Wendy | November 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I don’t think she looks pregnant. No face chub or other signs of early pregnancy. I think it’s a food baby plus a bad camera angle.
Cock Dr | November 7, 2011 at 2:55 pm
That might be burrito bloat or menstrual puffiness.
If she’s incubating a zygote we’ll be able to figure that out soon enough.
mrsmass | November 7, 2011 at 2:55 pm
never impressed by her. she’s one of those chicks who have to wear high heels or else her legs just look fat. now they’re starting to look fat in high heels. she’s turning into a slob.
Dan | November 7, 2011 at 3:16 pm
She always *looks* yummy to me.
When she does interviews/speaks I know I would last about three hours with her.
Moxie | November 7, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Jesus, the composition on that first sentence had me re-reading it for 5 minutes.
Do Freebird | November 7, 2011 at 3:26 pm
….. And here’s Where I Start Saying she aborts it before the weeks out.
Do Freebird | November 7, 2011 at 3:27 pm
What fucking skin color is that in the large picture?
EmmaWatson's Vagina | November 7, 2011 at 3:29 pm
sadly i would not kick her out of bed.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Aw. There’s still no one in the comment section who can reply to these posts like a human being instead of a standup comic. What a bunch of losers.
EmmaWatson's Vagina | November 7, 2011 at 3:49 pm
um. the whole post is supposed to be stand-up. so what do you expect. the whole post is about saying someone has a baby bump where it might be true or it might be fat. and is something for the PR people to get people and bloggers to talk about.
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Boner Steve? Why is your asshole so tight?
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 4:09 pm
standup comics are humans too, steve.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Practice, babe. I’m sorry I can’t take a good goatse-ing like the next commenter, but someone’s got to keep the ship water-tight.
SisterRay | November 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm
I’m glad someone else is here who wants to partake in a serious discourse on celebrities’ private lives. I mean really, these clowns here keep acting like it’s useless garbage to kill time…
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Aw, you sincerely think a comment section on a pop culture website is supposed to be a comedy performance. That’s adorable. Maybe the big shot comedy scouts will find what you say just simply delightful. Maybe they’ll call you up to the big leagues soon. Good luck, Nolan Ryan. Remember me when you’re famous.
R.A. | November 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Shut up, Meg.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm
See, that’s the difference between you and me. I’m not attempting humor. I don’t want to be funny, honestly. I hope no one at all gets a laugh out of this, other than me of course. I just want to point out that everyone on here sounds like imbeciles. If I can’t change that, I might as well just get you really worked up over nothing, all the while remaining calm and maintaining a smile on my face.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 4:13 pm
what is it supposed to be then steve? Go back to chortling Gaga cock at Perez.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm
You don’t even know what chortling means, darling. It’s okay, take your time this time and use some big boy words after looking them up in the dictionary.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm
pretty sure i nailed it.
checking dictionary.com…..
yep, nailed it.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:19 pm
In fact, while you’re at it, go ahead and look up the word “condescension.” It’ll help. I’m sure of it.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Yes, you did nail it. I’m going to LAUGH Gaga cock at Perez. it’s okay. English as a second language is not easy. I forgive you.
R.A. | November 7, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Right, because we should all be taking pointers on the English language from some asshole named Boner Steve. Also your use of the word ‘darling’ necessitates the turning-in of your man card. Darling.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Is this what you look like while chortling?
http://www.moonbattery.com/michael-moore-chortling.jpg
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 4:23 pm
McBeef, I will forgive you for using GaGa to insult Boner Butt, just know, sniff sniff, just…know….(I have nothing, I’m getting over a cold.)…anyway…boooobs….
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Aw, I’m sorry, did I make it seem as though Boner Steve were my real name instead of just a made-up internet pseudonym? My sincerest apologies. I’ll gladly give you my imaginary man card. All of them, actually. Come and grab a hold of my man card.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 4:30 pm
it was more a metaphor for something like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvt_RCqvBnc
and a word play on sucking dicks.
sorry I had to break it down for you.
but yeah, fuck off and go to back to perez.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm
A metaphor? You obviously don’t know what a metaphor is either. Man, you are just racking up the points today. I wish I had you in any of my classes in high school or college. I’m sure it would have been a hoot for everyone to attempt to dissect your thoughts. I’ll go back to Perez when your dad starts giving shits.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 4:37 pm
right, I did fuck up metaphor there.
but again, perez’s gaping asshole is welcoming you to a place where you can speculate on perry’s baby bump rather than talk shit and attempt humor.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm
See, that’s the difference between you and me. I’m not attempting humor. I don’t want to be funny, honestly. I hope no one at all gets a laugh out of this, other than me of course. I just want to point out that everyone on here sounds like imbeciles. If I can’t change that, I might as well just get you really worked up over nothing, all the while remaining calm and maintaining a smile on my face.
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Uh-oh, Boner Steve has been sucked in! I have a feeling he’ll be back in 2 days making his own stupid jokes for his own amusement under the name Boner Jones. Or perhaps, Erection Mathers, we don’t know yet, that’s the fun part!
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Right right, because i get all roiled up over anon internet fucks. this is my therapy, because real life is filled up with fucking shits just like you and I can’t tell them to fuck off.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:45 pm
I was actually going to go with “Bone Lōc,” or perhaps the infamous “Tommy Lee Bones.”
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 4:46 pm
Why can’t you tell all the fucking shits in real life to fuck off? I’m mildly interested.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 4:49 pm
go around and tell everyone that needs to be told to fuck off to go and fuck off. see how well that works for you.
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Sorry, Boner, those are stupid. Mine, not. Well, at least not to me and that’s all that matters. And you actually are quite hilarious. A bucket of giggles, you are! McBeef is a regular here and you, obviously, are not. So I’m pretty sure everybody is laughing at you considering you came here to pick a fight with some random people on the internet when we all know you’re supposed to be looking for job.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm
It’s pretty easy to do that, honestly. Unless they’re your boss. I guess I’ve been blessed with good bosses though. You make a few more enemies I guess, but people are cowards in general. Ironically, I’m saying this from behind an internet pseudonym. The fact of the matter is that people don’t know what to do if you tell them to fuck off to their face. They just stew about it and talk shit to their friends, and maybe occasionally text you angrily for spreading all the naked pictures they sent you all over the internet.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Bone Loc was alright, but remember Boner Steve isn’t attempting humor. Boner Steve is here to point out we all sound like imbeciles and we should be posting like human beings rather than stand up comics.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm
And to you, my beautiful kimmykimmykimmykimmykimkimmkimmmmmmm. I have two jobs. I’m half Adam Scott a la Party Down, half DJ Lance Rock a la Yo Gabba Gabba. Only without the well-written work humor and phallic costumed characters. You’re right, I’m not a regular here. I’ve been reading The Superficial for a good while, but only recently began to look at the comments. Woe is not me.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 5:13 pm
I’m sorry, Richard. I legitimately was attempting to have a normal conversation with you. I suppose I overstepped my boundaries. Forgive me for not being able to resist making a reference to the man who created the Funky Cold Medina.
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 10:36 pm
I like Boner Stephen. He’s concise and doesn’t make me read a bunch of shit when I’m supposed to be working…and making my own comments here and there on the side, of course. Boner Steve, however, he rambles more than I do. And that’s saying a lot.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm
No Boner Steve, you are just one of the jackasses that comes along everyone once and a while and either complains about how unfunny fish is, how unfunny the commenters are, or some moral bullshit about how terrible we are with the shit talking in the comments.
dipshits like you come in, stand on their little soap box with their imaginary moral high ground, belittle others through their use of english, grammar, punctuation, or the frequency of swear words with condescending (oh yeah, i looked it up) stuff like “Darling” and then disappear back under the bridge from which they came, like the common fucking trolls they are.
Usually we just say “Shut up, Meg” but today I felt like feeding you. You should be congratulating me as you sit back and masturbate to your internet victory.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 5:42 pm
I’m not sure what you’re still so butthurt about. I moved past the easy trollisms and was just talking to you like you were a human being. Shouldn’t you be the one who is masturbating to your victory? It seems to me like you just want to play the role of jilted hero of the site. I mean, that’s fine with me, if that’s your prerogative, but it sounds like there’s more that you’re angry about than some trollery doled out willy-nilly. I don’t have any moral high ground. I just wish that everyone and their mothers didn’t automatically consider themselves comedians (or comediennes) when they get onto this site. I still think Fish is funny, even when his non-sequiturs border on later season Family Guy-isms at times. I don’t care how much shit-talking goes on. You’re just trying to feed me still with your pent up aggression, even though I’ve already had my fill.
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Well, Boner, you got the beautiful part right. But, still, you’re a total prick.
TomFrank | November 7, 2011 at 5:53 pm
This thread. Jesus Christ already.
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm
you are the same guy that bitches about what’s on TV rather than changes the channel.
McBeef is just an outlet for hate, jealousy, pent-up rage, and non political correctedness. He is not a real person and is incapable of butthurtedness. Sorry for the confusion.
Boner Stephen | November 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm
GO FUCK YOURSELF KIM
Richard McBeef | November 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm
you should get on this shit TF.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 5:59 pm
I’m that guy that bitches about where the remote is when there’s something I like on TV. Also, I don’t like this Boner Stephen guy coming in here and ruining my good, well-spoken name.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 6:01 pm
I LOVE PENIS
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 10:52 pm
TomFrank, I know! Now that I’m reading what the guys wrote to each other; I thought I wanted to punch a wall earlier, but SHIT! Pregnant Katy Perry really gets people upset! Myself included.
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Nope. Hold on. It just got hilarious! Bahahaha! Ahahahahahaha! Hahaha! Hee hee hee hee.
CranAppleSnapple | November 8, 2011 at 8:35 am
McBeef wipes the floor with the troll.
cc | November 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Russell Brand is procreating. Hopefully the funny gene skips a generation and the kid turns out to be a comedian.
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Baha! Yes!
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm
I haven’t seen a dress that ugly since 1986. And she looks positively miserable. As someone who has never been pregnant, I’m going to say it is because she’s pregnant.
TomFrank | November 7, 2011 at 5:52 pm
You were passing judgment on women’s dresses when you were 4? Sometimes I don’t understand women. Make that all the time.
kimmykimkim | November 7, 2011 at 10:22 pm
Correction, TomFrank, I was 5! But yes, I was actually passing judgement on my own clothing at that age. But that print is not a women’s print. It’s more of a miss’s (misses?) junior’s print from that time. My sister had a tunic just like that. Well not exactly of course. And I always thought it was kinda ew. Oh and, women, we don’t fully understand ourselves either. Don’t worry, it doesn’t get any better. Does that help? Pretend I’m patting your shoulder that might help. I’m really good at pep talks.
TomFrank | November 7, 2011 at 11:02 pm
Well, I do like the part where you’re patting my shoulder.
The Laughing G-D | November 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Trannies cannot have babies!
I have the answer | November 7, 2011 at 5:59 pm
She decided to embrace her inner chubby dorkness and ate her assistant.
Boner Steve | November 7, 2011 at 6:03 pm
LOL. I can’t believe it took so long for someone to think of doing that. I love it.
Mama Pinkus | November 7, 2011 at 6:45 pm
That gal just plain looks nasty
wtf | November 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm
it looks like a tranny
Little Richard | November 7, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Nah, that belly’s always been there. It’s just the first time your eyes made it that low.
anonym | November 7, 2011 at 10:48 pm
shave her head, and she would look like peewee herman.
her face is really not attractive
forrest gump | November 7, 2011 at 11:04 pm
americans always use the pregnancy excuse when they can’t stop eating any longer.
……………..A REAL POP-ARTIST WON’T BECOME PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mancuso | November 8, 2011 at 6:34 am
Getting pregnant AND morphing into Boy George in one stroke…; seriosuly: fuck you, Russel Brand.
ExileOnDaytonStreet | November 8, 2011 at 7:54 am
“Heroin baby”? Hasn’t the guy been sober for around 10 years or so?
I know you’re not supposed to analyze humor, but wouldn’t Brand have to fall off the wagon before that joke even starts to be funny?
jayelle | November 8, 2011 at 10:34 am
OK that hair is HORRIBLE… she needs a new stylist, if she even uses one. christ.
emily | November 8, 2011 at 2:28 pm
she told us on tour that its all the beans on toast she eat and roast dinners she sed shes deffently not pregnant :) x
Brenda | November 8, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Are you kidding me? Her stomach is completely flat.
FUG no | November 8, 2011 at 10:52 pm
That haircolour + that green tan.
LEB | November 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Nooo, she doesn’t look pregnant, she looks like she has relaxed her stomach muscles. It’s not normal for women to have concave abdomens, it’s normal for women to have a little softness there. Most women have a “pooch,” even if it’s just a small one. I hate pointing a finger at “the media”, but advertising and Hollywood has really warped our perceptions of what a normal, healthy-weight (or even trim) woman is supposed to look like.
steve maniaci | November 10, 2011 at 10:07 am
Red head, nice smile , nice dress, nice legs I think she smokein. I’d meet her anywaywhere she’s hip love it