Katy Perry Denies Pregnancy, Confirms Entirely Letting Herself Go

November 22nd, 2011 // 24 Comments

Katy Perry wants to clear up all those pregnancy rumors I like to believe I started because The Superficial is the preferred news source of Air Force One. (Made-up fact. Or so the government wants you to think…) So, here she is making sure everyone knows she’s stuffing her face full of booze and Taco Bell. No, really. Via HuffPo Celebrity:

“I still love drinking alcohol, so not yet. I like In-N-Out Burger and Taco Bell and if you want to make that pregnant that’s your problem,” she said.
At her concert in New York City on Friday, Katy told fans, that she wasn’t pregnant, only bloated from too much “NYC Pizza.”

Of course, this just adds to the divorce rumors because Russell Brand‘s a documented sex addict, and now his wife’s sitting around with a gut full of Chalupas and cran-vodkas. Not that I’m suggesting this won’t stop him from having sex with her, just the opposite, but now he’s got himself an escape hatch once he gets caught banging random women in a jacuzzi full of heroin.

RUSSELL: Your eating made me do this!
KATY: You’re right. I’ll now use logic and reason to craft a rational response to this situation.

(It would’ve been more realistic if I had Katy mount a Pegasus and take flight, wouldn’t it? I knew it.)

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News

superficial

  1. Ummmmm

    Visible roots are one of the biggest disadvantages of dying your hair a crazy color. That shit’s gotta be vigilantly maintained. I read somewhere that Gwen Stefani has her naturally dark brown roots bleached every 10 days to match the rest of her hair.

    • Cock Dr

      Yup, here’s a successful and wealthy entertainer who can’t be bothered to sit down for a color touch up.
      That really looks like crap.
      I wonder if Ms Perry will hog out over the upcoming Turkey Day festivities and emerge next week looking like Ke$ha.

      • Ummmmm

        That was my whole point. Of course she can be “bothered” to sit in a chair and have a professional maintain her color. It’s not like she has any responsibilities or anything.

      • 1) Gay guys wonder why she doesn’t touch up her roots.

        2) Straight guys wonder if the carpet matches the drapes.

      • TomFrank

        I think she likes her hair that way. It looks like strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream now. Which fits in with this whole Candy Land persona of hers.

      • Linda

        I love her puppies, I just want to pet them and milk them. She has a lovely body and doctorpeoplemeet was an amazing show.

    • Ummmmm

      I’m a straight girl.

    • mrsmass

      why hasn’t gwen’s hair fallen out yet?

  2. stratacat

    stop watching inaccurate greek mythology movies.

  3. Hugh Gentry

    I’d still do anything to nail her fat ass.

  4. Deacon Jones

    Actually , it’s YOUR problem, bitch!

  5. Russel Brand

    I’d like to shoot my jizz in her mouth and I’m a sex addict AND married to her

  6. The Man

    “because Russell Brand‘s a documented sex addict”

    Why? Because he keeps telling people this? Remember those who talk about it most are doing it least. Plus she’s clearly his beard so being addicted to gay sex is something else entirely.

  7. Chico Rodriguez

    I have a chalupa i would seriously like to put inside of Katy. Actually , it’s more like a burrito, or a nice fat churro

  8. Vince Lombardi

    So she’s becoming Bertney Spears? Shit.

  9. Clarence Beeks

    I wouldn’t say she “entirely” let herself go.

    I can’t believe i just said something positive about her. I can;t stand her.

  10. Schmidtler

    wtf do tween girls buy this talentless 45 year old hag’s crap for? there isn’t a tween chick out there that can give herself a bad pink dye job, dress like a retarded person on LSD, and move her lips along to the canned bubble gum pop music? These tween fans of Katy Perry’s need to ask themselves if their mother dressed like that and went on tour, would they pay to see it?

  11. Terry

    Why is she famous? Yeah she is banking like a motherfucker but her crap music is so effing disposable. ` Goes off to England to marry that weirdo, dresses up like a japanese anime character …
    Am I missing something?
    I’m going to have a potato roll sandwich(with a turkey burger) and a coke vanilla zero.

  12. jeremy

    she is probably not dying her hair beacuse she is pregnant and the chemicals will mess with the baby

  13. Captain Slappy

    If I were her, I would pull a Herman Cain…”Deny EVERYTHING!”.

    That would include her so-called “Music”, which is much like an overly long pregnancy…it doesn’t do me any good either way it turns out. Which is freaky, because Russell Brands is clearly a homo-erectard…I didn’t they even COULD breed…but give him an “E” for “Effort”. Maybe he and Gaga swap weekends for custody of “Teh Penis”. Assuming Katy Perry doesn’t use it on him, that is.

  14. Katy Perry Pregnant Belly
    Denise
    Commented on this photo:

    American Idol should have taught them the valuable lessons of disrespecting those in authority. I’m not surprised Drew and Astro is GONE and if little Rachael is not careful she is NEXT. It was Simon’s fault or anyone else who justifies and condones such actions, regardless of how they sound. I always KNOW that those kind will NEVER win. Check out American Idol. The back talkers ALWAYS lose or go home sooner or later.
    It’s OK to be able to express yourself but it is called wisdom and respect something the parents are NOT teaching in the homes ANYMORE and why our world has turned out to be as it is today.

  15. Katy Perry Pregnant Belly
    Denise
    Commented on this photo:

    American Idol should have taught them the valuable lessons of disrespecting those in authority. I’m not surprised Drew and Astro is GONE and if little Rachael is not careful she is NEXT. It was Simon’s fault or anyone else who justifies and condones such actions, regardless of how they sound. I always KNOW that those kind will NEVER win. Check out American Idol. The back talkers ALWAYS lose or go home sooner or later.
    It’s OK to be able to express yourself but it is called wisdom and respect something the parents are NOT teaching in the homes ANYMORE and why our world has turned out to be as it is today.

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