Katy Perry & Orlando Bloom Are Over

So remember when it looked a hell of a lot like Orlando Bloom cheated on Katy Perry with Selena Gomez, but they stayed together for some reason? Well, that probably just happened again minus the staying together part because the Daily Mail has photos of Orland Bloom with another woman shortly before the two announced to PEOPLE that they’re taking a “respectful, loving space” from their relationship. Also, apparently Gwyneth Paltrow is coming up with these things now.

“Gwyneth, we hate each other. What do we say?”
“You’re probiotically deconstructing the lentils of love.”

“Gwyneth, I caught him with the nanny. Help.”
“You’re reforging solitary pathways to your vagina egg.”

“Gwyneth, she doesn’t respect my art.”
“You’re removing the stones from your relationship’s Infinity Gauntlet.”
“Yeah, I’m not paying for that one.”
“You can and you will!” *lifts skirt, sprays mugwort into adversary’s face*

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Photos: Getty