Katy Perry Made A Song About Beating T. Swift At Basketball Or Something

Let’s just come out and say that Katy Perry is no Carole King or Leonard Cohen when it comes to songwriting. The only worthwhile takeaway form overanalyzing her lyrics is finding out what kind of product placement deals she’s cashing in on. Just a few weeks ago she released this Dickinsonian example of her lyrical prowess – a song about eating her vagina over a heaping pile of synthesized drum machines and yakisoba.

Katy Perry just released a new single, “Swish Swish,” featuring Nicki Minaj, that 14 year old girls and gay men in their early 20’s are trying to spin as a “diss track” because we are human and we love war. Listen to the song, it’s about as aggressive as a froyo flavor at Pinkberry called, “It’s Leg Day, Bitch“.

Leave it to US Weekly to stir up some shit by citing a Twitter user with too much time on their hands as a credible source. Here are the lyrics from the song and then their intrepid detective work…

A tiger / Don’t lose no sleep / Don’t need opinions / From a shellfish or a sheep / Don’t you come for me / No, not today / You’re calculated / I got your number / ‘Cause you’re a joker / And I’m a court side killer queen.

Some listeners were quick to point out that the “sheep” line could be in reference to a tweet Perry posted shortly after Swift’s Rolling Stone interview. “Watch out for the Regina George in sheep’s clothing,” she wrote, referencing the movie Mean Girls.

That tweet these “listeners” are referring to was from 2014…

Can people please stop trying to pit Taylor Swift and Katy Perry against each other. It’s getting sad. Find some celebrities that will actually stab somebody and I’ll be a little more interested. That’s why I’m a huge fan of DMX. If Katy Perry were to say some backhanded shit about X in a pop song about how she got a cotton candy colonoscopy or something, DMX would actually set some people on fire and run them over with an ATV while barking like a rabid pitbull. THAT’S A REAL FEUD.