Katy Perry & John Mayer Are Banging Too Loud

October 24th, 2012 // 23 Comments
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In case it wasn’t bad enough that Katy Perry‘s having sex with John Mayer, they’re now doing it so loud her neighbors are starting to get pissed. Via Hollywood Life:

Katy Perry apparently had trouble satisfying Russell Brand’s wild sexual urges, but John Mayer certainly isn’t complaining! Instead, it’s Katy’s West Hollywood neighbors who are complaining, as the couple like to “have very loud sex, keep very late hours and like to turn up the tunes,” reports Star.

In all seriousness, and despite all that stuff I said up top, there’s no way Katy’s making all the noise because I can almost guarantee this is all John Mayer screaming, “OHMYGOD THEY’RE SO BIG! JUST HOLY… HOLY SHIT. HUUUGEEEE! THEY’RE HUGE! STICK MY PENIS IN YOUR VAGINA? WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT WHEN THESE ARE SO HUUUUGE! HOLY SHIT! Hey, why are the cops here?”

(For the sake of this post, the part of John Mayer is played by me anytime I get to see a breast.)

Photo: Pacific Coast News

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  1. Frank Castle

    Its just her riding her Sybian. 100% sure that pussy Mayer has nothing to do with any loud sex.

  2. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    Frank Castle
    Commented on this photo:

    John Gayer.

  3. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    So her stylist is Edward Scissorhand?…

  4. Inner Retard

    I would complain about the loud music too. After all, binoculars help but how could you masturbate without hearing Katy moan.

  5. what the neighbors hear: “IT’S SO HUUUGE!”
    what she really said: “GET OFF ME DOUUUUCHE!”

  6. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s carrying the Antichrist in her womb. That’s the only logical explanation for the cross’s behavior. And the behavior of John Mayer. Sticking his penis into her vagina. Still.

  7. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the fuck zooms in on Katy Perry’s STOMACH? Seriously. Jesus.

  8. The Royal Penis

    Wow, Mayer is morphing into a reflection of his superhero powers:

    A giant emo douchebag.

    At least he’ll keep Perry clean for the duration before moving on to the next pussy to slide into.

  9. El Jefe

    I refuse to believe that she is anything but a dead fish in bed. There is nothing in her personality to suggest otherwise.

  10. your mom

    “Hello, uh, Neighbor. Would you be a dear and call up this magazine editor and complain about all the loud, crazy, uncontrollable sex I’m not really having…. I need to make my Ex really jealous, and this guy’s kind of lacking in that department…. here, I have cash.”

  11. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Perhaps John used her shirt as a condom and it broke….oops

  12. Gary Grant

    what tunes are they turning up? Hopefully they don’t do it to Katy Perry’s music.

  13. If I’m riding Katy Perry her neighbors would be hearing, “YEEE-HAWW…People, People…YEEE-HAWWW…lookit them titties bounce!…”YEEE-HAWW…People, People…”

  14. Anonymous

    John Mayer must like dudes because he called the tranny Jessica Simpson, sexual napalm.

  15. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    Tyler Perry
    Commented on this photo:

    Not sure who this guy is, but it ain’t john mayer

  16. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Bullshit! I don’t believe this story for one second. I wonder how much she paid the neighbours to say this?

  17. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Her blind stylist needs to be fired

  18. kendra joy bethune

    is that right katy perry and jhon mayer are banging to loud having quodis as sheldon on the big bang theory would say exchange dna that’s there buisness can you hear them keeping up the lower east side where gossip girl started

  19. kendra joy bethune

    sam lufi was a britney spears stalkers he tried to dress like britney and shave his legs and sing baby one more time did you watch britney’s kent wood louisanna roots special i saw it he was nuts that name sounds fimlmar why is he dying it watch how he would put a blond wig on like britney and shave his legs and try to sign it on the show and he’s suing the orginal britney spears

  20. Buddy The Elf

    Might as well bang the shit out of her, she doesnt appear to be worth much else to the world.

  21. Katy Perry Cleavage Bra Undwerwear See Through Dress
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Opening for A Flock of Seagulls?

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