In case it wasn’t bad enough that Katy Perry‘s having sex with John Mayer, they’re now doing it so loud her neighbors are starting to get pissed. Via Hollywood Life:
Katy Perry apparently had trouble satisfying Russell Brand’s wild sexual urges, but John Mayer certainly isn’t complaining! Instead, it’s Katy’s West Hollywood neighbors who are complaining, as the couple like to “have very loud sex, keep very late hours and like to turn up the tunes,” reports Star.
In all seriousness, and despite all that stuff I said up top, there’s no way Katy’s making all the noise because I can almost guarantee this is all John Mayer screaming, “OHMYGOD THEY’RE SO BIG! JUST HOLY… HOLY SHIT. HUUUGEEEE! THEY’RE HUGE! STICK MY PENIS IN YOUR VAGINA? WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT WHEN THESE ARE SO HUUUUGE! HOLY SHIT! Hey, why are the cops here?”
(For the sake of this post, the part of John Mayer is played by me anytime I get to see a breast.)
Photo: Pacific Coast News
Its just her riding her Sybian. 100% sure that pussy Mayer has nothing to do with any loud sex.
John Gayer.
Velly good, velly, velly good
So her stylist is Edward Scissorhand?…
I would complain about the loud music too. After all, binoculars help but how could you masturbate without hearing Katy moan.
what the neighbors hear: “IT’S SO HUUUGE!”
what she really said: “GET OFF ME DOUUUUCHE!”
She’s carrying the Antichrist in her womb. That’s the only logical explanation for the cross’s behavior. And the behavior of John Mayer. Sticking his penis into her vagina. Still.
Who the fuck zooms in on Katy Perry’s STOMACH? Seriously. Jesus.
Wow, Mayer is morphing into a reflection of his superhero powers:
A giant emo douchebag.
At least he’ll keep Perry clean for the duration before moving on to the next pussy to slide into.
I refuse to believe that she is anything but a dead fish in bed. There is nothing in her personality to suggest otherwise.
Never underestimate the hidden freakiness of catholic girls.
“Hello, uh, Neighbor. Would you be a dear and call up this magazine editor and complain about all the loud, crazy, uncontrollable sex I’m not really having…. I need to make my Ex really jealous, and this guy’s kind of lacking in that department…. here, I have cash.”
Perhaps John used her shirt as a condom and it broke….oops
what tunes are they turning up? Hopefully they don’t do it to Katy Perry’s music.
If I’m riding Katy Perry her neighbors would be hearing, “YEEE-HAWW…People, People…YEEE-HAWWW…lookit them titties bounce!…”YEEE-HAWW…People, People…”
John Mayer must like dudes because he called the tranny Jessica Simpson, sexual napalm.
Not sure who this guy is, but it ain’t john mayer
Bullshit! I don’t believe this story for one second. I wonder how much she paid the neighbours to say this?
Her blind stylist needs to be fired
is that right katy perry and jhon mayer are banging to loud having quodis as sheldon on the big bang theory would say exchange dna that’s there buisness can you hear them keeping up the lower east side where gossip girl started
sam lufi was a britney spears stalkers he tried to dress like britney and shave his legs and sing baby one more time did you watch britney’s kent wood louisanna roots special i saw it he was nuts that name sounds fimlmar why is he dying it watch how he would put a blond wig on like britney and shave his legs and try to sign it on the show and he’s suing the orginal britney spears
Might as well bang the shit out of her, she doesnt appear to be worth much else to the world.
Opening for A Flock of Seagulls?