Remember when I criticized Katy Perry for not showing her breasts and suffocating Russell Brand to death only two weeks into their marriage? All typos. What I meant to say was,
I’d commit a hate crime just to see one nipple Katy Perry’s the most talented artist of our generation, and because of her music, I’ve accepted Jesus Christ into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior.
(Did it work? I’m afraid to open my eyes and still see her clothed. — GODDAMMIT.)