Katy Perry Does ‘Vanity Fair’

May 4th, 2011 // 60 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

Katy Perry did an interview for the June issue of Vanity Fair in what seems like an attempt to prove to her detractors that there is more to her than her outward appearance. As if that point wasn’t made aptly enough with a cover featuring her tits spilling out all over the place, here are a few excerpts from the interview that can only be described as nuggets of dumb:

On not knowing how vegetables work at all:
My career is like an artichoke…People might think that the leaves are tasty and buttered up and delicious, and they don’t even know that there’s something magical hidden at the base of it.

On her parents’ amazingly low expectations for their children:
They’re excited about [my success]. They’re happy that things are going well for their three children and that they’re not on drugs. Or in prison.

On her big, wide cultural sensitivity:
I’m open to possibility…. My sponge is so big and wide and I’m soaking everything up and my mind has been radically expanded. Just being around different cultures and people and their opinions and perspectives. Just looking into the sky.

On the apex of her career:
I already know my future evolution, where I’m going to go. I mean, I’m touring in fucking Indonesia, for crying out loud.

The additional photo set is Katy hawking her new perfume because as we all know, the pinnacle of self-awareness and enlightenment = brand synergy. I’m pretty sure Gandhi said that.

Photo: Splash News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, May 9.

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  1. mensa

    Touring in Indonesia means you’ve made it now? When did this happen?

  2. the captain

    ……………..C*nty Perry?

  3. RoboZombie

    Horrible screeching voice..only redeeming qualities are those airbags!
    Anyway, just wait, she’ll pull a Cat Stevens and get all religious, realizing her crazy, snake-handling, speaking-in-tongues parents were right all along. So enjoy the boob-fest while it lasts

  4. Cock Dr

    She gives good magazine cover.
    Kudos to Vanity Fair for getting her into a top that actually FITS the breasts rather than squashing them.
    Still married to douchebag limey too….amazing.

  5. JC

    Why can’t dumb pop stars just be dumb pop stars? Katy: You aren’t that talented, and when your looks fade, everyone will forget all about you. Just embrace it. Have a good time, and invest your money well.

  6. Deacon Jones

    Wow, now I know why Russell Brand married her. Her intellect is stimluating.

    He’s definitely relapsing.

  7. Sugar

    Either the interviewer hates Katy or couldn’t possibly find a way to mask her baffling stupidity. Or both.

  8. MisterSuccint

    My career is like an artichoke: once you’ve peeled off a couple of leaves the rest is just nasty and goes in the trash.

  9. Who actually reads Vanity Fair? I mean besides people waiting to get their hair done?

  10. CptCreep

    Katy and Demi Moore should try and get a 2 for 1 discount on knee tucks…

  11. Lumpy McLumps

    Shes good at making her flat saggers look good, I think Russel could tie a knot with them, http://www.listal.com/viewimage/1176329

  12. dotmatrix

    Isn’t her fifteen minutes up yet?

  13. Fitting she compares herself to an artichoke. Artichokes are bland and need to be dressed up with spices and other more exciting foods to be digested…not unlike Katy Perry who needs a team of makeup artists, hair stylists, crazy wardrobe that shows off her ‘money makers’, people to write her songs &auto-tuning just to get people to digest her ‘music’.

    • The Critical Crassness

      You almost got it right, however, Katy CT does,unbelievable as it may seem, write some of her own stuff. Actually, having heard her music,it’s totally believable that she writes some of her stuff, probably with the help of that musical genius,Taylor Swift.

      • Fun fact! When many artists (cough Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez) are featured as ‘writer’ or ‘co-writer’ to their song, they likely had little to zero contribution and/or bought the title credit.
        More so, On Katy Perry’s Hot n Cold, the song is listed as co-written & composed by Dr. Luke, Max Martin,Moe Faisal & Katy Perry. It took 4 geniuses to come up with “You’re hot then you’re cold/You’re yes then you’re no”.

      • Clarence Beeks

        her music is so bad, I believe she writes it.

        untalented, mediocre looking hack.

    • some dude

      Hey bianca, you obviously haven’t had the pleasure of dipping steamed artichoke leaves, and then the heart, in drawn butter.
      Although I do agree with your comments regarding this life support system for a rack.

      • Really

        You’re right, Bianca. And I think it took 5 or 6 people to write “Single Ladies,” which has about 15 words. I’d say it’s because no one person wanted to take credit, but it won Song of the Year.

  14. Styrofoam

    It’s amazing how in the other photos of her hawking perfume, her tits all but melt away…

  15. Ron Burgundy

    Eating the wrong part of an artichoke will potentially kill you. So…kudos on the analogy Katy.
    There is no way that I can see her as worldly or intellectual but I would still motorboat the hell out of those fun-bags. And that’s pretty much the extent of what she has to offer this world. Which isn’t so bad really since murderers and tyrants offer nothing…so at least she’s way ahead of them.

    • Really

      So your expectations are as high as her parents? :)

    • Anna

      what are you talking about. the “heart” of the artichoke is the best part. u just need to make sure u dont eat the spiky leaves. but the outside leaves are fine. she was trying to say that everyone likes her for her looks but the best part of her is her heart. or atleast thats what i got from it. Youre so quick to judge someone just shut the fuck up. Youre just a perfect example of what she was talking about.

  16. Method Roughing

    For people with poor reading compression, question number three means she does anal. But shes most likely more married to her career than to “Rusty”. Thank me later.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Actually, I think she is referring to her spermicidal sponge, used for birth control, and the answer means her cunt is a wide as the Titannic is long.

      • cc

        I was thinking too of a spermicidal sponge. But I thought they had been withdrawn from the market. Maybe she stocked up when she was 12.

        And before I forget to say it…she’s as dumb as a post. And talentless.

  17. Katy Perry Cleavage Vanity Fair
    sexyman48
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d fuck this girl stupid, so it’d take about 5 seconds.

  18. Kelley

    So much for “the rack is real,” lol !!

  19. Donald Trump

    Great rack on this bitch!

  20. Jimmy

    Should be retitled “Katy Perry’s Boobs Do ‘Vanity Fair’”

  21. Superficial Bitch

    Don’t you leave a whore mark on my fancy wallpaper!

  22. Her sponge has to be big and wide with all the dick she’s had. The thing is probably the size of a catcher’s mitt.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Yeah, she reminds me of a minister’s daughter I knew in high school, did a striptease on a table, in the cafeteria during lunch and then took on half the football team that night after the game. Minister’s daughter definitely know how to rebel against their parent’s moral code!

      • mr salty

        That is a revelation for us all. Enlighten us further with your vast knowledge, TCC! [in nacho libre voice] “you are dee behhhst!”

        Kidding, of course.

  23. Katy Perry Cleavage Vanity Fair
    Ned
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t usually use the “F” word, but those are some big fuckin’ titties.

  24. Doc

    Oh how I love thee KP, let me count the ways… using the artichoke analogy as a reference to your vagina. Tasty, buttery and delicious with something magical hidden at the base? I bet it is all of the above

  25. Keyser Ballsy

    Nice to see Vanity Fair put out a Women We Love To Motorboat issue.

  26. Of course you are doing well in Indonesia, Katy. They have vapid bandwagoning 14 year old girls devoid of taste or originality there as well.

  27. Jacqueline Hyde

    I notice the competition between her & Gaga over who can wrap their hands the farthest around their own waists. “Look I’m SOOOOO skinny! You fatty fatty 2x4s!”

  28. Cardinal Fang

    She makes the granny-pants look look almost sexy

  29. PFKZONI

    Unbelievable. Every single comment to this story was posted during the time of day when everyone who actually works to pull their own weight in this world is … well … working. That includes Katy Perry and DOES NOT include any of you meaningless losers who may “labor” at a government provided public union job in order to get your taxpayer funded Viagra, LOL. But most of you don’t even work that hard I’m sure. Every single comment to this story is so dripping in toxic, bitter jealousy and mean-spirited spite that I have a pretty good picture in my mind of how each and every one of you looks and how each and every one of you performs in life (and in bed). That pretty good picture is not pretty. Btw, this comment was posted by someone who doesn’t know Perry’s music from GaGa’s or Beyonce’s or Swift’s. All losers. You, not them.

    • Clarence Beeks

      I posted at around 10am. I went to Karate at 12:30, and then work at 2:00

      Shut the fuck up- you have no idea whether posters here are leading productive lives.

      Asshole.

    • Lumpy McLumps

      Speak for yourself wastewad, i can say i dont make my living flashing my tits-held up by duck tap and chicken strips, and annoying the world with my crappy songs/screeching voice and unbearable tarty recycled over and over (failing) attempt at vampiness, there.

    • You posted @8:16, shouldn’t you have been with your friends, SO,children etc rather than wasting your time telling others how to spend theirs? Or maybe you’re a pathetic, lowlife hypocrite just seeking attention?..FYI..I post here alot while I’m at school & at work. I get good grades & make good $ as a bottle service girl, so there goes your retarded theories about ppl being stupid, unproductive & ugly…Maybe you’re just bitter you have to spend every ounce of brainpower just to fart, and are jealous others can have fun on the internet and still be successful.. Basically what I’m saying is Fuck Off.

      • vitobonespur

        Hey Bianca…what exactly is a “bottle service girl?” Never heard of that occupation before. Just curious.

    • @vitobonsespur: lols, it’s not really an ‘occupation’ per se, more like serving bottles in vip booths @ Nightclubs and making a % & tips, plus taking pictures pretending you’re having fun lol… It’s not exactly the most demanding job but it pays my way through school.

  30. John

    lol alls left is for her to do porn

  31. She is as vapid as her music.

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  33. Joe Wang

    Dumb? I don’t care. I’d still screw her (lack of) brains out.

  34. Roxy

    Katy Perry is Rojo Caliente….HOT!!!

  35. I love the headers for each quote. Nicely done.
    Also love me some Indonesia.

  36. Katy perry is well fit!!!

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