Katy Perry Did Jewface

April 25th, 2014 // 33 Comments
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Posted by Photo Boy

If you’re like me, and you’ve always wondered what would happen if the creators of Jackass got drunk, had unprotected sex with the creators of Punk’d, then decided to abort the hellspawn they produced, then you’re in luck, because Katy Perry‘s new video for her song ‘Birthday’ is that dead fetus.
To start off, she did “jewface.” I don’t know if that’s even a thing, but if everyone’s going to piss themselves over Nick Cannon ripping off an already overly ripped off 30 year-old SNL bit, I guess we have to pretend this is outrageous as well. Although if you sit through the excruciating eight goddamned minutes of this thing, you’ll find that’s the least of what’s wrong here. I screencapped it and broke it down for you because I recognize that your time and life in general are both far more valuable than my own.

- Here’s the part where she absolutely terrifies a child by eating a live rat in front of him.
- Here’s the part where she pulls off an amputee’s leg and plays it like a guitar.
- Here’s the part where she molests an old man. And keeps doing it. I’m pretty sure to completion.
- Here’s the part where she lets farm animals shit on children.
- Here’s the part where she stages a fucking car accident at a kid’s birthday party.

Aside from the music being far-and-beyond the most terrible thing about this video, I’m not sure who is more to blame for this awfulness even existing. Is it Katy Perry for having such a shitty idea, then executing it in the shittiest way possible? Or is it everyone who agreed to be in on the pranks, i.e. the parents, the nursing home admins, and the rabbi who all decided that taking the focus away from the celebrant in favor of two minutes of Internet fame was a worthy exchange? And then there’s this. Dear sweet christ I’ll never, ever get that out of my brain.

superficial

  1. She’s still dumpy and talentless.

    • My Uncle Jason recently got a fantastic white Nissan Cube Wagon just by some part time working online with a computer…

      read this post here … C­a­S­h­S­­­FL­Ow.C­­­­­oM

  2. Wow. Not even her rack can redeem her now.

  3. Oh that is not good. That will bite her back for that dress up.

  4. I’m not watching that shit, but it looks like a fucking abomination.

  5. Oy, gevalt. It’s nice that they put the credits at the end, so you know exactly who is responsible for this disaster.

  6. j/k

    At first I thought Jewface was a new rapper.

  7. But having sex with Russell Brand in a wheelchair is just too weird and icky.

    Damn glad we cleared that up.

  8. Wow! She’s just as good a light comic actor as she is a singer!

  9. ThisWillHurt

    “I’ll see your Crazy Eyes, Julian Hugh, and raise you a Gene Shalit. I REVIEW MOVIES WITH PUNS!”

  10. curry

    Fapped anyway.

  11. JC

    Well, she proved me wrong. I never thought she’d move her career further than annoying-but-harmless titty pop tart, but she’s graduated to annoying asshole. Good for her.

  12. Velkh a shreklekh meydl dos iz an baleydikn keyn jews umetum!!

  13. ArtGirl

    I can’t be the only person that remembers how her Dad made anti-Semitic remarks in one of his sermons?
    http://jezebel.com/5873940/katy-perrys-father-goes-on-rant-about-jews-in-his-sermon

  14. I think I am going to have to pass on watching this video.

  15. This is what happen when you keep telling a (sorta) hot chick she’s funny, because you want to play with her boobs, when, obviously, she’s not.

  16. Mike

    That’s probably her first decent song in a while. It’s got a Chromeo vibe to it. She just needs to not take herself so seriously; she’s got big boobs, play off them.

  17. Moe

    heaven help me, but the way she whips around at 4:45 is comical

  18. peenut

    philosophical quandary of day:
    could you do Katy Perry made up like “Goldie”? It’s Katy Perry after all, underneath all the prosthetics, but damn….

  19. rican

    I got turned on by the granny sex.

  20. tlmck

    I blame Miley.

  21. Poison Ivy League

    A peak into the future of dem titties.

  22. juanhunglow

    gets a pass as I love dem tittays.

  23. Jenn

    Eh. It wasn’t horrible. Except the kid. Don’t terrify them like that.

  24. For the first time I actually like Katy Perry. She has strayed into a weird fusion of Borat/Kids in the Hall territory and all I can say is, I liked it!

  25. Hojo

    She looks like Neil Degrasse Tyson in that pic

  26. eh

    She’s history’s most annoying monster.

  27. anonym

    hahahahah

  28. RitaFantastic

    “(Katy Perry) did “jewface”…I guess we have to pretend this is outrageous as well.”

    I take it whoever wrote this up isn’t Jewish and doesn’t know any Jews. Try, “I guess portraying negative stereotypes of ANY culture is OFFENSIVE.” Try having some bloody empathy.

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