Katy Perry’s Breasts! You Came Back (Kind Of)!

Katy Perry has been keeping her breasts under wraps lately because she’s a very serious artist now who can’t be taken very seriously if her giant tits are all up in your face. Which is obviously a bullshit excuse because it makes no sense, so I’ll just come right out and say it: John Mayer beats her if she shows them to anyone else. She made me promise not to tell, but it’s for her own good. She’ll thank me later.

Photos: Getty