Katy Perry’s Breasts Got Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez Drunk (With Guest Star Robert Pattinson)

June 27th, 2012 // 54 Comments
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Here’s Katy Perry leaving Marmont last night while Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez stumble out the door behind her because they weigh a combined 47 pounds and had a sip of wine each. Fortunately for Katy, Robert Pattinson showed up and went, “Don’t worry, I’ll get these kids home. Oh, and can you hold this napkin between your tits?” but instead drove them to a hotel and forced them to reenact the scene in One Hour Photo where Robin Williams makes a crying Michael Vartan bang his mistress while he takes pictures of them.

And that, my friends, is how you do a photo assumption if photo assumption means precisely describing a series of events exactly as they happened. Which I did.

Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. JC

    So Katy made her own dress by cutting up a Hefty bag?

  2. Yuuuuup

    Why is a 35yr old hanging out with 18yr olds?

  3. El Jefe

    You say it is a napkin stuffed in-between her boobs, I say it is her panties, or better yet, Selena’s:)

  4. Wow. All the douchenozzles were out at play… was it No-Talent Fucktard Night at the Marmont?

  5. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Shasta
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell is that thing on her neck? And yes, when the tits are covered in weird splotches (some don’t look like freckles), a hair, and a weird napkin thing, it’s pretty easy to stop focusing on them.

  6. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aw, shit, dawg! It’s the douche-0!”

  7. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oooh! Reading Rainbow!”

  8. vgrly

    Awww Beiber and Selena called each other up to match their outfits.

  9. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    Why, that’s nothing but a really poor bra choice on a woman who needs to slather a *lot* more vaseline on that camera lens.

  10. Woooohaaaa!

    Boooooooobies!!!

  11. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, a classic dilemma — how to maintain your street “cred” when you need to drop a deuce in public but you know it will still come out white.

  12. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs to get that cigarette burn scar taken care of, love those tits thou.

  13. vgrly

    Robert Pattinson just lost any hobo hipster cred he had left.

  14. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    Prop. 69A: Any establishment which allows a person of any age, legal or not, onto their premises wearing those sunglasses, unless she be a stripper in costume, shall lose their liquor license for a period of not less than 3 years.

    How say ye?

    • Boo

      Actually, I’m pretty sure those are 3D glasses from Katy’s movie premiere. Which would explain the tumbles. I think with her experiences with the paps, Selen would have had sun glasses ready to protect herself from flashes.

  15. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, so on top of everything else, Bieber found time to win the Super Bowl? Tebow, move over, Jebus has found himself a new love.

  16. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously her boobs are NOT that big! She’s got a decent size that gets squeezed the hell out of to make them pop out the way they do!!! It’s so annoying that they make her look like those things cant be contained!

  17. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Ana
    Commented on this photo:

    Based on the position of his feet, I really hope that what’s about to happen is that he face plants into the pavement.

  18. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    stacy
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks 7 years old there.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      Just because those sunglasses look like she won them at the arcade crane game for 50 cents doesn’t mean she did.

  19. We

    Its about fappin’ time!

  20. Glassman

    Pattinson was probably giving the other 3 singing lessons…

  21. So what’s the drinking age in California? Or are underage “stars” allowed to drink at the Marmont?

  22. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The Amazing Doucheman.

  23. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    How come there’s no one to hold me up when I leave the club shitfaced? People just let me fall on the ground, then they take my wallet. If I wake up with my pants still on, I consider myself lucky.

  24. JJ

    Katy Perry is in her late 20s. Fairly sure Rob Pattinson is in his mid to late 20s, as I remember reading that Kristen Stewart was underage when Twilight started and he was several years older. Why on earth would 20 somethings hang out with Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez? Then again, why would anyone hang out with the Lesbeaver? I know age is just a number and all that, but Beiber and Gomez seem to act incredibly young and both can’t be more than 19. Plus, Beiber yapped about how women should not have abortions even in case of incest rape (really, Biebs, you want a bunch of babies born looking like they came straight out of the film Deliverance or do you want the potential baby mamas to keep their sanity by getting abortions)….Yet Perry yaps about how great Planned Parenthood is. Hollywood is strange.

    • Rachel

      It’s not that much of an age difference. I have a lot of friends in their twenties when I was 18 when I moved to LA. The only problems that rose was the fact that if we wanted to go clubbing it had to only be at 18+ clubs. But it’s no secret that as a celebrity you can get in at any age so that isn’t problem here. Yes Beiber is an annoying douche who I think Selena is to good for but I thought I would point out that planned parenthood does so much more than abortions (which are not as common as people against them want you to think) So you can be pro planned parenthood and still be anti abortion by just wishing they would switch up certain policies.

  25. vandal

    Man, we’re about an inch of thin material away from seeing the holy grail of nipples.

  26. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Poopsquat
    Commented on this photo:

    is that her nipple?

  27. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Ollie
    Commented on this photo:

    My life is so haaarrrd! When the sun shines on me I’m so ugly and I sparkle.

  28. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Galy
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin looks pretty damn funny trying to hide from the camera’s.

  29. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Galy
    Commented on this photo:

    None of them look like they were having a good time.

  30. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    concussion #5 for the beebs

  31. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    diva
    Commented on this photo:

    THOSE ARE THE EXCLUSIVE 3D GLASSES FROM KATY PERRY’S MOVIE THAT SELENA JUST CAME FROM, SELENA STOLE HERS. LOL :)

  32. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    I told you he’s gay

  33. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    So why arent they getting slapped with contributing to the delinquency to underage drinkers?

  34. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    DanySel
    Commented on this photo:

    is selena Gomez

  35. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    brava!

  36. Katy Perry Cleavage Drunk Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    BELLA!

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