Katy Perry Is The Only Two Things That Mattered At The Grammys. The Only Two Things.
If you follow The Superficial on Facebook and Twitter, then you have a ginormously long penis and already knew to skip the Grammys and wait patiently for pics of Katy Perry’s giant breasts because they’re the only thing worthwhile that happened. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to post stupid shit like Chris Brown and Rihanna so potential jurors can see they were together shortly before she was decapitated with a car door after Frank Ocean won, and Jennifer Lopez defying the puffy vagina ban, but I won’t be the least bit offended if you look at absolutely none of that and only look at these. Christ, Ellen’s so rich she probably owns a pack of flying tigers that perform cunnilingus and even she can’t believe what she’s seeing. In fact, we might want to start worrying more about John Mayer than Rihanna now that I think about it. “Haha! You want to carve off my face and wear it like a mask. Oh, Ellen… Cool knife.”