Katy Perry’s Breasts Are Still Campaigning For Hillary
Last week, Madonna threatened to blow anyone who voted for Hillary Clinton, which amazingly didn’t hand the election to Trump right there on the spot. Sometimes you do negotiate with terrorists when they want to put your penis in their undead mouth and turn it into a beetle. Tom Clancy taught me that. Anyway, since the bottom of the election somehow didn’t fall out, here are Katy Perry’s breasts campaigning for Hillary over the weekend, and I’m no Nate Silver, but I’m pretty sure this is why Texas is a swing state now. Or somebody saw Jesus in a cactus and he was like, “Fuck a wall.” I don’t know what you people respond to anymore. I honestly don’t.
Photos: AKM-GSI, Getty