Here’s Katy Perry (In A Bikini) & John Mayer All Over Each Other At A Pool Party

August 17th, 2012 // 44 Comments

Here are just released photos of Katy Perry and John Mayer all over each other at a pool party last week, so there’s really no denying these two are actually happening because God’s a wiener-boy. That said, at least now we know how she ended up baring her ass at a water park and can finally put that mystery to bed.

KATY: So this is awkward. I feel really gross after having sex with you. What’s the best way to wash my va-
JOHN: Water slide. Giant water slide.
KATY: Thanks!

Photos: Coleman-Rayner

superficial

  1. tammmarab

    stupid stupid stupid girl. hes a total dick.

    • jedi bro

      isn’t he freaking ugly as well? i have a hard time judging this since i’m a guy, but really, he seems ugly.

  2. Frank Burns

    Kudos to Katy Perry for her consistency in her selection of romantic partners! Once again coupling with a dismayingly sleazy man with a history of many sexual partners is Katy’s way of saying “hey, I know what I like, and its perverts, an increased risk of STDs, and emotional disappointment!” Soldier on, Ms. Perry, in a world of fickle celebrity romances, you are an icon of stability.

  3. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is one way to cut down on his body odor.
    Of course the best method would simply be to get the fuck away, but that doesn’t appear to be happening.
    Why do I detest him so much? Don’t know him, couldn’t name a single thing he’s done. But I see his photo and feel instant hostility. Weird.

    • Lemmiwinks

      I just wish his penis would quit burning crosses on my lawn.

    • DeucePickle

      But I thought everyone loved all his pirate movies

    • Cock Dr

      Actually now that I think about it I can recall a couple things John Mayer has done; Jessica Simpson & Jennifer Aniston.
      I don’t understand what qualifications he has for the coveted position of “Professional Celebrity Poonmeister”.

      • El Jefe

        You are operating under the assumption that they have not been passed around through Hollywood by other actors and musicians. Maybe the other men were just more discreet unlike Mayer.

      • “I think at this point the landing Mayer-Douche is a challenge that some women just can’t resist. Kind of like catching the fish that some many other famous anglers just can’t hook….a creature of myth and mystery.” – Cock Dr, 8/2/12

      • Cock Dr

        Are you keeping dossiers on all frequent SW commenters?

      • CD, I just thought it was interesting that two weeks ago, I asked basically the same question as you are now—I even used “poon”!—and you had an answer then.

      • Frank Burns

        TF if you are keeping dossiers, in mine I’d like to toss in some photos of me dressed up as Baby New Year 2009 – I’m sweating profusely, and you can really see the skidmarks staining through the diaper.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        I know he wore a bright green mankini once, because it was permanently burned into my retinas and a faint image of it still overlays everything I see.

      • Cock Dr

        That must make masturbation a lot more fun.

      • I love how it now reads as if it were Frank Burns who McBeef saw in a green mankini, and not John Mayer.

      • Frank Burns

        For $50 and a promise to towel me off, we can make that happen.

  4. Matt Lauer

    Sort of a lateral move from Russell Brand. She apparently LIKES dumpster diving (yay, I have a shot!).

  5. Govt. Cheese

    How to Guide to Bang Kate Perry (Six Steps):

    1. Be White
    2. Be Ugly
    3. Be a Douche
    4. Be famous for being a douche.
    5. Be an ugly white douche who happens to be famous for being a douche.
    6. Perfect your motor-boating skills!

    • El Jefe

      Travis McCoy is not white and is very black so you might want to revise #1.

      • El Jefe

        I am confused as yo why I got downvoted. She dated Travis McCoy for a very long time and Travis McCoy is black. 100% true. Therefore step #1 is completely invalidated.

        I guess the Katy Perry fans want to forget that she likes getting black peen stuck inside of her. Boo hoo hoo.

      • She likes black peen? YES! I have a shot. If I can listen to her talk without falling asleep, I’m in. Motherfuck, she’s boring! But I’ll make the sacrifice to motorboat those melons.

      • Trek Girl

        That’s pretty common. Someone states a fact or says something reasonable, and there are 5 down-votes before you know it.

      • Mike Walker

        Travis McCoy is not what anyone would call “very black”. Feature-wise he’s right down the middle.

  6. Jay

    Since this just depresses me, off topic, you know who we havn’t seen in a while? Courtney Stodden…… She hasn’t done anything stupid in a while, your thoughts please…….

  7. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently when you have a 10″ mule dick, the awkward sexual advances of a 5th grader trying to cop a feel is all it takes.

  8. I am sorry to publicly admit that I have a little soft spot in my heart for Russell Brand. He can be funny. But this guy — biggest LOSER ever.

    • Trek Girl

      I agree with you, Giggles; I have a soft spot for Brand as well. He is articulate, funny, and gives one heck of an interview. The way he has treated his divorce and Katy in the public eye – he didn’t seek spousal support even though he had the ability to do so and he declines to speak ill of katy – is causing me to like him even more.

  9. mtag

    to be fair, her body IS a wonderland

  10. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    RacistPete
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she’s learning from her mistakes…

  11. Going from one douche bag who cant shut the fuck up to another douchebag who cant talk so she is not forced into a conversation is like the perfect transition for this road lizard.

    Her idea of a long term relationship is the length of a music video and he cant commit as long as there is someone more famous or attractive to get so I doubt either one cares.

  12. I appreciate how conflicting this must have been for you Fish. Mayer and a bikini. Tough day at the office.

  13. Emmanuel

    She’s getting heavy

  14. The way she’s going, she is making fantasies about rasslin’ in the sheets with her a bit more difficult to stomach.

  15. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    jedi bro
    Commented on this photo:

    It seems like he would have really bad breath.

  16. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    she has a gross body. reminds me of an old mom or something…

    • Blech

      She has a better body than a lot of young moms I see, and even young childless ladies.

      She’s just got poop for brains.

  17. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    nice bun.

  18. Blech

    She’s never going to stop dating heroin addicts, is she?

  19. JFS61

    I want to take a shower just after looking at that picture of him.

  20. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    It must be important that he not get his hair wet.

  21. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    As much as I dispise this douche I also respect his ability to screw over every chick that has fucked him and yet still get laid like crazy.

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