Katie “Jordan” Price made a promotional stop at Harrod’s for her newest children’s book “Mermaids and Pirates: Follow the Fish.” That’s right: Katie Price wrote a children’s book. The main characters of the book are Katie the Mermaid and Peter the Pirate – as in Peter Andre her husband. And she made him a pirate. Wow. Anyway, Katie keeps churning out novels like Stephen King if he were a stripper. I’m really curious who her publisher is because this guy is either legally retarded or an old pervert that’s mental for boobies. (No, it’s not me.) I’m talking a love so deep he doesn’t care about scarring children for life and therefore deserves the Nobel Prize. No, wait, make that two Nobel Prizes. And a Pulitzer. Yeah, one of those.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty Images, Splash News
JoBOO | April 10, 2008 at 4:23 pm
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!
steve | April 10, 2008 at 4:24 pm
“Excuse me, sir, how do I find Katie Price?”
“Just follow the fish (smell).”
JoBOO | April 10, 2008 at 4:24 pm
WHAT’S WITH THE FLESHTONED MIDRIFF COVER? DOES SHE HAVE A TARA REID STOMACH?
restingonlaurels | April 10, 2008 at 4:24 pm
who’s katie price?
Mitch | April 10, 2008 at 4:27 pm
The story ends “and Katie lived happily ever after. Except for having to chug all that thick salty semen to keep the cameras on her.”
Auntie Kryst | April 10, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Mermaids are not real, then again neither is she really..
BunnyButt | April 10, 2008 at 4:34 pm
I love how she made her outfit modest, low key, elegant, and child appropriate by covering her belly.
Note to self: Have sheer fabric inserted into the midriffs all of your stripper outfits so you can recycle them in your new career as a preschool teacher.
havoc | April 10, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Who is this chick?
.
photosynthesize | April 10, 2008 at 4:39 pm
clearly she only has one ‘tits thrust out’ pose, and doesn’t realise it doesn’t really go with flogging children’s books.
BunnyButt | April 10, 2008 at 4:42 pm
9, Breasts are not sexual organs. They exist to nourish children. Tits and children naturally go together, and this woman obviously understands that.
lipper | April 10, 2008 at 4:43 pm
It looks like that scary girl from the grudge creeping up behind her! Oh wait.. thats just hair extensions. Whew!
monkeyfightclub | April 10, 2008 at 4:44 pm
I’d like to trade diseases with her
Mr. Rogers | April 10, 2008 at 4:45 pm
What a clever and lovely costume! I’m sure a lot of children attended her book signing. Hopefully one of them punched her in the cunt.
nipolian | April 10, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I sure would like to Peter her Pirate.
They White Urkle | April 10, 2008 at 4:48 pm
She maid a little fish in my pants.
Steve, that was pretty damn funny!
restingonlaurels | April 10, 2008 at 4:49 pm
in pic #2 she’s clearly forgotten that she’s posing for her CHILDREN’S book debut. how inappropriate.
Samael | April 10, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I have a lot less respect for the denizens fo the UK today. Obviously, someone’s buying this tripe over there. If it wasn’t selling, she wouldn’t keep churning this garbage out.
Ted Mosby | April 10, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Still riding that one trick pony to fame.
rae. | April 10, 2008 at 5:07 pm
that’s one ugly fucking dress.
rae. | April 10, 2008 at 5:09 pm
#3- yes, and Frankenstein nipples.
Sambo the Ass Pirate | April 10, 2008 at 5:10 pm
looks like Devendra Banhart
deacon jones | April 10, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Man, this slut went downhill faaaast.
That outfit looks like something the captains would wear at gym night
Ted from LA | April 10, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I’ll bet her pussy smells like carp.
me | April 10, 2008 at 5:23 pm
God, she’s fucking hot. She was even hotter before her nose job but still, the bitch is hot as hell.
Tony | April 10, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Irregardless, I’d ram my torpedo up her smelly English “bum”
adeliza | April 10, 2008 at 5:34 pm
#13–
My eyes are still watering! Oh the vision of a child punching her in the cunt!!
Tom | April 10, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Agreed; this bitch is more fuckable than most. This is kind of a fantasy of mine… I’ve had a hard on for mermaids ever since I saw that Disney movie as a kid. I think I’ll have some fun with these pics tonight. “Under the sea, under the sea!”
Tapeworm | April 10, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Her husband’s a pirate all right… a butt pirate, that is.
Don King | April 10, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Can’t we all just get along?
poonmoon | April 10, 2008 at 6:12 pm
She’s the Britsh Britney folks. She’s not fat, but she’s fucking batshit as all get out. I mean fucking look at that outfit … shit… Ariel the little mermaid would be appalled, that is the sorriest, lamest, ugliest, most unsexy mermaid costume I’ve ever seen. What’s the middle section made out of? Barbara Walters othopedic nylons? That hideous neon pink color is right out of the 80′s, you could light up half of South Beach with that color. She’s not even showing off her expensive fugly silicone boobies, which I thought was her “raison d’être”. Then of course there’s the corse, thick, nasty ass wig. Honey, Cher called she wants her hair back.
I see she’s holding up the books she “wrote”, boy oh boy that’s impressive she’s like the next Tolstoy or something. Sadly she didn’t really write them I mean we all know that, fuck she couldn’t even read you the title let alone the first page if you asked her.
But good for you Katie don’t you go letting a little thing like “functional retardation” keep you down.
woodhorse | April 10, 2008 at 6:13 pm
The moral turpitude required to not only wear that Dollar-Store-Reject outfit but to do so in view of children puts the lie to human evolution. Fish has sunk to a new low. I apologize on his behalf to all of you – it had to be deliberate act of destruction by Fish. No one insults a population of our caliber by accident.
Captain-Insano | April 10, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Whoppdeedoo, some skank in a skanky dress skaning it up with her skanky new book.
On another note, please sign this petition to get Uwe Ball to stop making movies. He says he’ll quit when 1,000,000 people sign it, and its getting close to 200,000 already.
http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html
Sambo the Ass Pirate | April 10, 2008 at 6:19 pm
@28, you say that like it’s a bad thing.
Jimbo | April 10, 2008 at 6:53 pm
There is no way that is a bad thing Sambo!!!
Jenny | April 10, 2008 at 6:59 pm
That’s an ugly dress.
Jimbo | April 10, 2008 at 7:19 pm
@35 Jenny that is a Halloween costume. My daughter wore that when she was 3..
BoboTed | April 10, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Where did her big titties go? She just needs to start posing naked again. Then all will be right with the world.
Anal Fistula | April 10, 2008 at 10:03 pm
that woman just exudes class
Erica | April 10, 2008 at 10:09 pm
who the hell is this?
Polly Pureheart | April 10, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Holy hair extensions Batman!
Polly Pureheart | April 10, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Holy hair extensions Batman!
http://wtcctr.blogspot.com
stoplookingatme | April 10, 2008 at 10:48 pm
As #30 summed up, she’s insane. This chick had a full-blown Disney-style “princess” wedding – castle included – and wore a giant tiara and a ridiculous pink ballgown only a cartoon would wear. She even made poor Peter dress up like Prince Charming. She’s fucking ridiculous. This mermaid shit is her “taking it down a notch.”
got melanocortin1 | April 10, 2008 at 10:51 pm
somewhere in the world eliot spitzer’s jackin to the merm pics…you already know
hanshotfirst | April 10, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Just wait. Michael Jackson’s going to appropriate her for his next version of Neverland. Fantasy character? Check. Hidden breasts and no visible vagina? Check. He’s all over this one… she can even read books to the kiddies!
Frank Lucas' Bitch | April 10, 2008 at 11:26 pm
She’s pretty hot, I guess…I don’t know, that fake tan and fake hideous eyelashes scare the crap out of me. Why do women even think that’s attractive? Furthermore, she looks like a total whore at the children’s book signing. Although that’s usually a good thing on a whole, she’s not Angelina Jolie enough to pull it off.
Drippy Dick McGee | April 10, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Sometimes I wish the lepers never stopped doing anal for charity.
Drippy Dick McGee | April 10, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Sometimes I wish the lepers never stopped doing anal for charity.
Binky | April 11, 2008 at 12:06 am
Binky : Well. Ok. I must admit – that’s the best mermaid dress I’ve seen today.
And in other news – for those of you keeping score at home – I seem to be banned from that left wingy site Huffpooh again. Errianna’s ‘Thought Police’ and news hounds are promoting some scoop about naked women reflections in Dick Cheney’s sunglasses on their front news page…And they can’t handle:
“‘Was that a Naked Woman ?’ Who really cares HuffPo ?
Personally. Well ok, me, Jesse Ventura and a few million others, are more into – Hey. Wait a sec Dick.Was that free-fall collapse speed through undamaged steel structure?
I still haven’t heard Dick’s answer and he’s refused to testify under oath.”
Cliff Notes | April 11, 2008 at 12:20 am
Cliff Notes : Don’t worry Bink. As Leonard Cohn sang ‘Democracy is coming, ( down beat, down beat, down beat – to the You…S… A.’)
Knee Ya Ha Ha : How’s about China ? Bird on a Wire ?
Cliff Notes : Settle down Knee. The IOC says the Olympics will free everything up over there in China. And let’s face it – at least you guys have thousands protesting in the streets squirting fire extinguishers.
In the States the only guy they seem to have mustered up, who figured out the ’2 + 2 ‘ of it all, enough to talk about it, is Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura.
Binky : Cliff – you’re sounding a bit of of date. He did change his handle to Jesse ‘The Brain’ Ventura a few years back.
Cliff Notes : Thank God ‘Mean Gene’ didn’t wear him out completely.
rooboo | April 11, 2008 at 1:41 am
Carrot Tops alter ego