Katie Price gives terrible Christmas presents

November 26th, 2007 // 141 Comments

Katie Price (a.k.a. Jordan the large chested, wonky-eyed Brit) is undergoing breast reduction surgery for Christmas, according to The Sun:

The former glamour girl, who was also showing off her new brown rinse, is going under the knife before Christmas to have a breast reduction for hubby PETER ANDRE.
She says the surgery will make them more “perky”.

I’m not a marriage counselor. But one time I chugged an entire Viking helmet full of beer. So close enough. Anyway, I always thought it went without saying that a breast reduction is the worst Christmas present any wife could get her husband – ever. I mean, besides telling him she’s pregnant. But, seriously, what is wrong with Peter Andre that he’d actually want this? Dude, if you’re tired of Katie’s gigantic cans, I’ll take her off your hands. That way you can have more time to spend with your glasses and hair gel. And, when I bring her back, that crazy eye will be back to normal. Don’t ask me how, but I’ll give you a hint: it’ll be from all the sex.

NOTE: I included pics from Katie’s launch of her new fragrance “Stunning.” Mostly because I’m impressed she’s actually making normal faces and, well, able to stand without tipping over.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

  1. p0nk

    @11 you sound bitter. do you need to poop?

  2. put the ugly people in the back

    Oh check wikkipedia they are implants THREE implants each. I thought she might have been one of those freaks of nature but no she’s just a giant loser whose had endless plastic surgery and will be dead soon.

  3. gotmilk?

    who is this ugly skank? and where is she selling her fragrance, Perfumania? real stores probably don’t sell this panther piss.

  4. put the ugly people in the back

    Nope I just took a giant steaming dump and it looked like Katie Price’s face.
    But thanks for asking I had no idea the superficial was such a caring environment.

  5. Who care about her wonky eye. You are never looking at her face anyway. Someone must stop her. Dosen’t she know she can feed a country with those fun bags??

  6. Everyday is I hate Paris Hilton Day

    She’ll look like Hulk Hogan’s wife in a few years mark my words.

  7. LayDeeBug

    “Stunning,” what a misnomer. How about Cunting as in “See what she did, your cunting daughter?” ): P

  8. Does she look fake, or is it just me?

  9. LayDeeBug

    11 – you are so my new hero/heroine. Thanks for the belly laugh.

  10. Shallow Val

    19 – if you have to ask, then it’s you.

  11. ME

    They are not real?

  12. Krusty the Clown…………….

  13. Shallow Val

    11, 13, 15, I haven’t laughed this hard since PapaHotNuts

  14. Duh

    Her eyelashes frighten me.



  16. Aqualuvbug

    You know, my sister was born with big ole monser titties and they’ve been down to her belly since she was 19. I thank the cosmos every day for my small, high breastesses.

  17. sushi pants

    Thats a man baby! (I know, over-used line but I love it)

  18. Satanas

    The Price is wrong!

  19. DA

    She sure has some purdy lips.
    They would look wonderful wrapped around my hard cock, going up and down…………………….

  20. Satanas

    30 – stop it. it’s been two years of celibacy and even talk about hot dogs and donuts makes me randy, YEAH!

  21. this is a good gift. they are so big that they are ugly.

    no, this is a good christmas present.
    she will look much better. those things are too big a dowdy looking, i can’t see her body. if she takes a shower and scrubs some of that orange paint of she will be good

  22. They are fake Giggles

  23. DA

    Don’t worry, once you graduate from the semminary, getting laid will be very easy. Altar boys don’t put up much of a fight, once you’ve got their pants down around their ankles.

  24. Steph

    I’m sorry but you have got to be joking with me. Her boobs are absolutely WHOREndous! I have beautiful perky champagne glass boobies and man are they sexy! I look pretty damn good too, better than this Jordan character and I’m a normal 25 year old woman without the help of trainers and plastic surgeons. I don’t look like a cheap slut either. For her to get a breast reduction I’m pretty damn positive she will still have HUGE boobs, so all you f**king a**hole perverts can breathe easier.

    Seriously what is wrong with you people!!! Why do you have to assume ALL men adore insanely gigantic disgusting boobs like that EW I love boobs as much as anyone, but for the love of god people boobs that big are not attractive! They are clown boobs!! She looks like a friggin’ circus attraction.

    And I know it is your job to be a dickhead and judge women based on how they look, but honestly you could do yourself a little justice by not making it seem like you are vouching for all men. I will tell you that if you were a little more educated or well-traveled that you may know ONLY American men are so obsessed with boobs! American men may also love boobs, but I’m pretty sure as long as they are round and jiggly (and not deformed) a man will be turned on. Am I right? or is everyone on here as superficial as the website?

  25. Satanas

    34 – LMFAO – no it’s by choice. But again LMFAO!!!!

  26. Hey asswipe trolls, this is the first time I’ve commented since lunch, and STOP TALKING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK!!!!!

    Although if you’re jealous, I could give you a few tips on how to be cool or how to come up with your own name..

    But it will cost you

  27. Satanas

    Gee Staph, tell us how you really feel. I agree with SOME of your comments but I believe 90% of the posters here have said how gross they think this Whore is. So, what’s your beef?

    And yes, we are that shallow, that’s why we’re here (rolls eyes).

  28. pissy skank

    Mmmmmm…. Tranny-licious!

  29. JIMBO

    Why dont you well travel your ass right out of the good ol U.S.A.

  30. Texas Tranny

    BunnyButt you’re right, he must be gay.

  31. Satanas

    40 c’mon, even I know that’s not Jimbo

  32. LayDeeBug

    How old is this slag anyway?

  33. LayDeeBug

    TT is that Youuuuuuuu?

  34. Pete

    Steph, I agree with everything you say. Now bend over. Because you’re bitchy, there will be no lube (at least until you tear…).

  35. skinflix

    If she gets a reduction, the slags gonna sag to the flo.

  36. Well, since she is throwing out the old ones anyway, maybe Katie Price should give them to Katie Holmes for Christmas..

    Er…Tom would not like that, so Kate Hudson? Kate Moss?

    These are the Kates I know I know…..These are the Kates I know..

  37. Yes, it’s me. LDB.

  38. LayDeeBug

    What’s up butter cup? Besides the rent…..

  39. amma

    She is so gross and overdone looking. Cindy Crawford looks perfectly angelic next to this creature…

  40. Yeah TT where have you been?

  41. Or my…………….. never mind.
    Not much, LDB. I’ve been working and not being a slacker here at the Fish. Not that there is anything wrong with slacking off. Since it’s “Black Monday” I’ve done a little shopping today.

  42. Diddums

    Even though a gentle shade of orange, she does have lovely skin!

  43. Buttinsky

    I’ve never even heard of this tranny before.

  44. they are too big, they are ugly.

    her boobs are ugly. the don’t look like they move. bigger isn’t always better.
    maybe her husband actually liks women and a woman’s shape.
    i would only think an over the top drag queen who exagerrates what it means to be female would like that circus shit.
    i would think that someone who likes this would be gay,
    a man who would want those things reduced to life size so that he can play with them may actually be straight or like actual real life women.

  45. ?

    why would she get rid of her natural big breasts??????

  46. Shallow Val

    like I said, 55 – you’re the bomb.

  47. ?

    55 you probably dont know this, but gay men dont like breasts at all

  48. Charlotte

    That is the scariest thing i’ve ever seen in my life, and i ain’t talking about her giant milk jugs. Damn someone PLEASE give this girl a mirror and perhaps a bottle of make-up remover STAT.

  49. Ms obvious

    56 – (screaming) THEY’RE FAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!

  50. ?

    60 is that so?

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