Katie Holmes under pressure to produce an heir for Tom Cruise

November 5th, 2008 // 38 Comments

Okay, sure, America’s elected its first black president, but more importantly, when is Katie Holmes going to get off her ass and get pregnant again? And would it kill her to make it a boy? Ok! Magazine reports:

In the December issue of Glamour, the star of the upcoming Australia explains that Connor, her teenage son with Tom, is still hoping for a brother. “[He] would like one of us to have a boy,” she confesses. “He wants that boy. Katie?”
“At 41, Nicole knows she’s not likely to have another baby,” a friend of the actress tells OK!. “It’s obviously up to the much younger Katie to give Connor that baby brother.”
And the Cruises are more than ready to welcome a new child into their lives.
“Katie and Tom very much want another baby,” a friend of the couple tells OK!. “There may be no better time than now for Katie to get pregnant again and absolutely nothing would make Tom happier.”

If nothing would make Tom Cruise happier than another child, I don’t see what the hold up is. There’s two simple solutions here: Either 1. Tom needs to stop hiding under a thimble whenever there’s a vagina in the room. Or 2. Tom needs to ride the sperm in and personally deliver it to the egg himself. As for arranging the gender of the baby, may Xenu’s will be done. (That said, if you build a multimillion dollar Scientology gym with a Juice Bar, he’ll think about it.)


  1. Que

    Que dang!

  2. Aikon

    Really, not sure about that! is she having baby-frantic now?
    All my friends on ” A g e l e s s m a t e . c o m ” would kill to have Cruise!!haha, anyways, hope the couple happy and last!!

  3. Narcissist

    He should use the power of his super advanced Scientologist mind to make things the way he wants them to be.

  4. Where is Katie going to get the sperm to get pregnant?

  5. dork

    I’d love for her to sire my flock! I’d make a kingdom of Scientologists. Yeah, I would.

  6. Gar

    They’ve let them copulate again ????

    @2: at some point you gonna stop posting your *beep*

  7. lori

    Wow, that is the first time I have seen that childs feet on the ground. She is always being held and always crying it seems

  8. lori

    Wow, that is the first time I have seen that childs feet on the ground. She is always being held and always crying it seems

  9. How does it work?

    I thought Katie was the new boy of the family.

  10. p0nk


  11. havoc

    Did L. Ron Hubbard approve any of this?

    You know, before his transformational exit by Xenu…..


  12. King Monkey

    Meh … Fuck her

    She knew what that bat-shit whack-job was all about before ever marrying the toad. Why is now any different ?

    Fucktard links need to go

  13. farty_mcshitface

    ok fish, we get it. you have a tiny little tent in your pants for obama. enough of this shit about him being black. i don’t give a fuck. the dude is going to be a disaster on a scale that will leave this already crappy economy in a full blown depression. he will be even worse than jimmy carter was. when this shitty little excuse for a leader is voted out in 4 years, he will have left the country in the same condition carter left it. double digit unemployment and inflation. the only time that happend before was the great depression.
    and for those fuckers out there who think i’m just a bitter republican, i didn’t vote for mccain either. choosing between him and obama was like choosing between a turd sandwich and cup a of diarrhea soup.
    until this country get a 3rd party candidate, we will get stuck with 2 shitty candidates instead a much better 3. it’s more fun with 3, more to make fun of.

  14. Teef

    Who said those things you’ve quoted from OK Magazine? “The star of the upcoming Australia” …Australia is a country, it’s not exactly upcoming. Unless there’s some movie called Australia coming out soon ???

    A little clarity wouldn’t go a miss, at least add Nicole Kidman to the list of keywords instead of making me visit that vapid OK! site again.

    I weep because of this…

  15. Dirk the Magnanomous

    This will never work until Tom learns how to get it up for vagina.

    Sadly, he only gets it up when he dresses K up as a boy and shoves it up her ass. That is his fantasy. I assume Suri was just a lucky drip from the ass to the vagina.

    Can he get lucky twice?!?!?!? Curious minds want to know…

  16. havoc

    There’s a movie called Australia coming out…



  17. ali

    that is the cutest kid in hollywood. i love suri. :D

  18. AteIsEnough

    @14: You mean he’ll leave it just about as it is now?

  19. Tinfoil Raccoon

    I’m a little disturbed at how man-ish Katie Holmes looks in that pic on the cover. What in the hell has Tom done to her? Remember when she used to look like a girl? Long hair, feminine clothes? Then she even had that short bob for awhile and was rocking the glam dresses and heels, kind of looking like she was emulating Posh. So….what happened?? Recently there was this disturbing pic showing Tom and Katie from behind and you couldn’t tell which one was which. Katie now has a short brown boy’s ‘do, like Tom, and both were wearing suits in that photo. Then there’s all the other photos where she’s wearing Tom’s jeans and white button down mens shirts with her short boy’s hair. If Tom wanted to be married to a guy, then just be honest and go for a guy. Don’t take a girl and sloooooooowly, step by step, turn her into a dude, complete with suit. gross. Mind control. It’s like she’s not even in control of anything that happens to her anymore. She just lets Tom dress her like a dude and probably doesn’t even know what’s going on around her.

  20. Parker

    Take it from someone who knows, he can’t get her pregnant cause that’s not possible when you’re only having anal sex with a woman. I try to get women pregnant all the time but they’re like, that’s the wrong hole, you have to put it in the other on up front and I’m like, no way bitch, anal only for you.

  21. lola

    “Recently there was this disturbing pic showing Tom and Katie from behind and you couldn’t tell which one was which. ”

    well it’s quite easy, tinfoil raccoon. Katie is always the taller of ‘em two.

  22. michy


  23. cavy

    I’m so over Tomkat….I’m commenting on the other story on the cover – I disagree that Robert Pattinson is “the Sexiest Vampire Ever”….my vote is for Gerard Butler!

    On another note – YAY for President Obama!!!! I couldn’t be happier!!!!

  24. Matthew

    free katie and TCLTC

  25. stormybroad

    Yeah well they gotta run it by Xenu first

  26. britney's weave

    alien babies are sooo cute.

  27. britboysarehot


  28. britboysarehot


  29. britboysarehot


  30. DAMN, that kid is indeed ugly.
    She is “DRESSED UP” american?
    DESTINED TO FAIL, folks!!

  31. can i say

    Why is that kid never dressed in anything that looks remotely comfortable or warm? Those shoes don’t look comfortable at all. What’s the point of giving a little baby blisters? And red nails on a toddler?
    Another reason to miss Heath Ledger: in every picture of him with his kid, he dressed his kid in warm comfortable clothes. Hell, even Gwen Stefani, whose infant has a mohawk, is saner than the Cruises.

  32. bec

    suri’s eye is messed up

  33. Ananana

    PRAISE XENU! What a cute kid!

  34. 1moreidiotintheworld

    When is the mother ship coming back for those fucking whack jobs???? Tom could quit acting like a fag and impregnate his wife for a son, but he will probably opt for hatching one out of a large green pod anyway, just like Suri…….

  35. farty_mcshitface

    #21 parker- that was some good funny shit there!!! keep packing it in!!!!!!
    you just gotta make sure she knows that you are in charge and that she just better get used to taking it up the ol’ shit-pit.

  36. stevie dawn

    you guys are fuck-tards

  37. stevie dawnt

    total fuck-tards

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