Katie Holmes + Tom Cruise = Trial separation 4ever

April 17th, 2008 // 86 Comments

Katie Holmes wants to move to New York City with Suri – but not Tom. She’s been offered a role in the Broadway revival of All My Sons and doesn’t want Tom ass-raping her theater career like he did with her film career. Star reports:

“She desperately needs to be on her own for a while, but there’s no way Tom is going to let her take Suri away,” an insider tells Star. “There’s no way he’ll allow it. He just doesn’t want Katie — or Suri — out of his sight for long. He told her that if she goes to New York, fine, but he goes with her.”
Further, the couple’s tug of war over their daughter has intensified as of late.
“Tom wants to call all the shots when it comes to Suri,” says an insider. “He has a lot of rules, and there’s conflict.”

The Superficial has obtained some of Tom’s rules for Suri. Many Bothans died bringing us this information. God, they suck at espionage…:

1. Hugs require an E-meter reading of Clear. After that it’s $1,000 for a hug and an additional $500 for a “How’s daddy little girl?” An “I love you” is $750. No personal checks.

2. When Uncle John calls, tell him Daddy is in the shower watching Battlefield Earth. Promptly let him in upon his arrival. He’ll be in a hurry.

3. Please stay within 100 yards of Daddy. Otherwise the bomb I inserted at birth will go off. Because he hearts his little L. Ron clone-princess! Smooches!


  1. Harry Ballzack

    So what – They’re BOTH a couple of lightbulbs shy of being *bright*

  2. Jumpin_J

    Jenniper, a place that can preach about the Church and South Park and the glories of Guinness? … BRILLIANT!!! Please tell me this in NYC.

  3. gogol

    well, actually, here in germany you are paying tax for the curch or you are OUT.
    of course i could keep praying before bedtime but for the state and the church i’m no longer a christ anymore if i won’t pay the tax. and btw: christianity started 2000 years ago as a sect, too… no so much a different between scientology and christianity for me.

  4. Jenipurrr

    Hey Jumpin_J….yes, its in NYC too. I hate spamming links to other sites, but here is the link to it anyhoo http://www.revolutionnyc.com/ .

    You can just go and hang out even if u dont dig God and the whole Bible deal. Its more about community and fellowship than turning people away cuz they look freaky or don’t conform to some mold created by heterosexual stuffy asswipes.
    The dude who runs our wing of Revolution married my husband and myself and the next weekend married a same sex couple. We rant about supporting mom and pop biz and what the next punk/alt show coming to the milestone might be…and yes, we talk about faith. No pressure…nothing but fun, friends, and a good pint. Gotta luv it.

  5. Mo

    Most of these assclowns are too young to catch the Bothans ref.

  6. Jenipurrr

    in reference to gogol “christianity started 2000 years ago as a sect, too” Not true actually, it started well before that. Jesus was born around 2K ago. Give or take. You can thank the Romans for the 2K thing actually. As for it being a sect. thats true. All faiths are “cults”, its only in modern times that the word “cult” is given a negative meaning. The difference between today’s idea of “cult” and old is that today it usually means and ideology that prevents you from making your own choices. Some “christian” faiths DO fall under this today, as with many other faiths… but if you take it for what it is…and dont freak out over the stupid miniscule details…then you CAN make your own choices and not listen to bullshit that comes out of these holier than thou preachers.

    For instance, my church gives out bumper stickers that say, “Jesus is the saviour, not Christianity”

    Ok…enough of this serious crap. sorry.

  7. sherry

    that is a big bullshit rumor come superficial writer can we not do better then that…suri 2nd bday is tomorrow Katie has been planning the party i know for a fact you r full of crap…they aren’t even living in their house right now due to remodeling, and they seem pretty happy with life…jealous much

  8. insecthero

    Tom’s starting to show his age in that picture. Droopy cheeks and forming wattle FTL!

  9. BunnyButt

    Fish, please note that Anonymous Sherry on the Internet is THE most credible source on all things Tom and Katie.

    Sherry, we don’t care whether or not any of this stuff is true. This isn’t a news site, we don’t expect accuracy.

  10. Claudia


    I enjoyed the movie too when it first came out. And I like seeing men in uniform because the clothes are fitted and I can enjoy their nice shapes. I hope the style changes for men because right now the young guys wear loose pants and I can’t enjoy looking at their behind. And the shorts are too long so I can’t enjoy looking at their legs. I do not watch any of Tom’s movies anymore because I think it is awful the way he filed for divorce with Nicole without telling her. Tom left Nicole for selfish reasons.

  11. Bubble Butt

    Tom has gone crazy and he is full of himself.

  12. Auntie Kryst

    @58 WTF?? Fish is qouting from another news source (lightly considering The Star a news source) you dumb twat. Way to work that little qwerty keyboard on your Sidekick Ms. Crazy Fan.

  13. restingonlaurels

    @39 and 58, what is the point of coming to this website if you’re so sick and tired of the posts?

  14. V

    Sweet Star Wars reference Superfish!

  15. V

    Sweet Star Wars reference Superfish!

  16. KillMONTAG

    Wow who coulda seen this happening?? a nice long custody battle I suppose coming soon to your Superfish.

  17. LL

    22. nipolian – April 17, 2008 12:30 PM


  18. black t-shirts rule

    39. shar – … if she is unhappy, she will leave…

    Do some research. Leaving a control freak is one of the hardest things one can do, even if you have money, and especially if the CF is a rich religion-crazed nut job who is also the father of your child.

    51. hahaha – … i wonder if cruise’s new movie “valkyrie” is going to bomb…

    My magic 8 ball says “most definitely.” I also have theory that your average joe doesn’t like movies, tv shows, etc. if he or she can’t easily pronounce the name.

    “lions for lambs” and katie’s “mad money” did. what else could be more telling that your career is OVER?

    Oh, and TC absolutely adores TC, maybe even more than zenu.

  19. Drunkprimate


    Not Without My Daughter 2: RUN KATIE RUN!

  20. KillMONTAG

    Oh please all you “don’t disrespect Christianity” assholes make me SICK!
    It’s a free country this is NOT Islam and most people in the West are not Islamic nutcases, and we don’t issue fatwas and kill people and blow up buildings because someone has a pop at Christianity like Muslims do.
    He wants to say something about a comparison between Scientology and Christianity then fucking so be it, live and let live, you might not like the remark, but lets not turn into freaking MUSLIM style nutcases.

  21. Hail Fucking Mary

    If someone doesn’t respect Christianity that is their right and also to voice their opinion, I don’t respect Islam and Scientology – I HATE them both with a passionate LOATHING and its my right to feel and to say so!

  22. arespilgrim

    Tom and Katie – meh.

    Bothan’s suck at espionage – damn near wet myself.

  23. Freakin’ newbies! 74 posts, and not one of you stated the obvious, …


    For that matter, so do I. Save me some soap, Tom!

  24. thetan

    It’s not a religion, it is a cult. Religions worship the creator of the universe and heavens, cults worship humans. Scientologists worship L Ron Flubbard, therefor e it is a cult.

  25. dement

    Doncha love how whenever people criticize Scientology, all the anti-Christian fanatics come out? And how they NEVER acknowledge that Scientology is a prime example of a pyramid scheme, NOT a religion.

  26. makemepuke


    Tom’s OT powers are a LIE!!!

  27. Donkey Punch

    >Doncha love how whenever people criticize Scientology, all the anti-Christian fanatics come out?

    Actually I find a lot of Christian nuts started defending Scientology claiming “freedom of religion”.

    They are too stupid to see how siding with a cult like Scientology may not be a smart thing.

  28. #74 – I happen to know that RichPort died from cardiac arrest while starring in that marathon porn “Donkey Dicks: A Requiem”. Good thing too, his trolls are the only things out there less funny than he was. I mean it’s funny to watch a talentless moron trip over his own cock all the time, but I couldn’t stand my hookers yelling out his name. And I reminded all that “TCLTC” about 30 posts earlier.

  29. idontwannawait

    I’m glad Joey Potter-Cruise is finally embracing her thetan-given talent of singing. I mean, when she got up there on that beauty pageant stage and sang ‘On My Own’ to Dawson, I wept enough tears to fill the Creek.

  30. Oneeleven

    To post #18 – Did you forget Muslim on that list?

    To Post#19 – You hit the nail on the head. Well said.

  31. I really hope that Katie leaves Tom in the dust! He is the biggest fake in Hollywood! Crazy and controlling is not a great combo….I feel sorry for her because he probably brain-washed her into thinking he would spoil her for life! The only way I could see her staying with him is to use him to further her career and then she could dump this 5″7 dumb ass! I knew someone who used to wait tables at the same place as Mr. Perfect, before he made it big. He thought he was the shit and kept asking her out and she had to keep turning him down because she said, as well as fellow coworkers, that he was the biggest dork they had ever known. Tom you blow, I’m sure in more ways than one!

  32. boo


    Hey mind your words ..dont talk about Islam when you dont know it k?
    what some freaks do in the name of islam is not right and i agree
    but dont generalize becuz islam teaches DOES NOT support innocent poeple

    so please mind your words a do as you just said “live and let live”
    i mean come on man! we pary for the same god!

  33. lisa

    I hate myself for buying Star, but I did buy this issue today and I rarely would believe anything on its pages, but I do hope she leaves him. She looks so depressed and miserable lately, not to mention gaunt (is she eating?). I’m sorry, but he’s completely OBSESSED with her. That stunt he pulled on Oprah’s couch was beyond unfunny and borders on obsession and I think maybe the fairytale has worn off for her. She’s young, she’s a mom, she was raised by a strict Catholic family and probably wants to get back to some of who she was. Let’s remember, when she filmed a movie in New Orleans, Tom wouldn’t let her take Suri with her unless he went to — and he did.

  34. C_VAN

    24 APRIL 2008

    Hollywood, CA

    Anonymous, the loosely-affiliated group of internet users protesting Scientology, has a message for Katie Holmes:

    “Do not fear Scientology. If you choose to leave, we will back you up, as will the thousands of brave souls who have already escaped Scientology. There are resources and support in place for those who leave. We will stand behind you 100 percent. To the best of our collective ability, we will help you gain freedom for both yourself and your daughter. Katie, the entire country knows how much you love your daughter, and Anonymous supports you doing what’s right for her – no matter what Scientology or your husband may be telling you.”

    Rumors have been circulating that Katie Holmes is considering taking her daughter Suri to New York for a trial separation from Tom Cruise. The Church of Scientology is actively working to avoid this PR blunder, and may be using strongarm tactics – including threats to back Tom for custody of Suri.

    Anonymous is well aware of the Church of Scientology’s active ‘Fair Game’ policy, in which scare tactics and intimidation are used to control both those seeking to leave the cult and those who criticize it from outside.

    During her indoctrination into the cult, Katie Holmes has undergone many hours of auditing, a process vaguely similar to confession in Catholicism. However, one striking difference between the two is confidentiality: while the priests who administer confession may never reveal what they are told, auditing is videotaped without the knowledge of the “confessor”, and there is no promise of secrecy. In addition, people who undergo auditing are evaluated with the aid of an E-meter (a primitive lie detector) and cannot leave the room until the auditor is satisfied. Sessions sometimes last hours. Ex-scientologists report that these auditing sessions and their tapes are used as blackmail material against the Church of Scientology’s own members, giving auditors the psychological control they need to ensure that many members never try to leave. Scientology is doubtlessly holding those video recordings – and the custody of her child – over Katie’s head.

    Disconnection is the Church’s policy of forcing a Scientologist to sever, completely and thoroughly, all ties with family members, friends, confidantes, mentors, or anyone else that can be labelled an SP, or “Suppressive Person”. An SP is someone who speaks out against Scientology, will not or cannot be converted along with their friend, or tries to convince said friend to get out of the cult. It is very hard on the victim because it leaves them with no person outside of Scientologist circles to talk to. Nobody to steady them or ground them. The very real possibility of being Disconnected from her daughter is surely one of the things stopping Katie Holmes from leaving. If she does leave and is unable to secure Suri’s safety as well, Tom will no doubt be ordered to aid in two-year old Suri’s disconnection from her own mother.

    Anonymous pledges that, if she chooses to leave, we will publicize any Fair Game tactics employed against her. We will rally behind her. Anonymous also empathizes with Katie and all members of Scientology – we understand the methods by which the Church of Scientology hijacks the minds of those who have not been inoculated. We know that very intelligent, well-meaning people have been taken in, and we will welcome those intelligent, well-meaning people back to our open society once their eyes are open to the abuse they have suffered.

    We demand nothing of those who have left the cult; we ask nothing and are happy to respect the privacy of those who leave – but we are more than happy to help those who have first-hand knowledge educate those who do not on the travesties occurring within the ‘Church.’ For ex-scientologists looking for support, Ex Scientologist Message Board – Powered by vBulletin and Operation Clambake – The Inner Secrets Of Scientology are good places to begin.

  35. Cesar

    All these posts are crazy and this site is whack! That Scientology cult is out of this world. Literally. Believing in $pace alien$ and $pending money to gain more crazy OT level$. Their crazy anti-depressant hooked LRH must be LOLing in whatever galazy he now is in. Now being that TC is like a GOD for their cult, does that make KH a goddess? She looks like an old rag rode hard and put away wet these days. Funny though that she actually has more talent than TC and will surpass him in fame, but maybe not in OT level. I know a few Sci. people here in Hollywood. Every single one is pretty whacked in the head. Real weird people. Most of them introverts with no family ties. I guess that sect will do that to you. Feel $$$orry for them.

  36. grl28

    Couldnt stupid Katie see this coming? Hello, he’s way intense and way crazy… she should have known the sizzle would fizzle and she’d be left with a soccer mom do and a baby that she will never get away from Tom. I dont feel bad for her one bit… besides her acting sucks so she should be happy she has a millionaire to take care of her… because chances are she would have ended up doing Lifetime Original Movies for women and nobody wants to see that.

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