Katie Holmes still really pregnant

April 17th, 2006 // 191 Comments

  1. Wow. Huge! Her outtie looks nasty!!!

  2. Bill Clinton

    Oh my god she is haneous.

  3. ladywillow

    I think the baby is starting to crawl out of her bellybutton!!!!! EWwwwwwwww

  4. Bill Clinton

    I expect L Ron Hubbard to pop out fully grown any day now.

  5. Aurora_BoreMeAlice

    Awww shucks. I thought I might get first with my first ever post. Damn.


  6. Binky

    Looks like she has a drawing of the father on her Tee-shirt.
    (Note to self : consider switching to Lite beer)

  7. Holy shit, she’s turning into one of the Scientology aliens.


  8. ZoomBoy

    I picture her saying:


  9. snark

    please tell me those teeth are photoshopped!

  10. theyareidiots

    Is she giving birth to an alien baby or perhaps Rosemary’s? This girl has been this huge for almost seven months now. Then, there are the suspicious photos of her belly shrinking at various points in time. See this week’s issue of US.

    Luckily for us, the demon spawn is taking its sweet time coming out, giving us more time to prepare for the apocolypse.

  11. suzy

    1. i didnt know tom was the pregnant one

    2. what’s wrong with her hand

  12. SuperSpence

    Someone needs to sneak a real doctor into this Scientology birth. I’m giving 5:4 odds that any human coming out of Katie Holmes has got three sixes on its forehead.

  13. suzy

    3. her hair looks like a birds nest!

  14. krisdylee

    Hey Katie, is that a stork on your shirt??? Yeah, that’s really not how babies are born. Then again, this baby’s conception wasn’t done au naturel either.

  15. TaiTai

    Quite strange — remember the photo from just a few days ago where she looked all skinny and the giant basketball was up much higher? Now she looks all puffy again and the belly looks more normal for a pregnant woman. They must have adjusted the pillow better for this photo, and fattened her up before they sent her out in public again. But jeez, doesn’t she look like she’s about 40 and having dental problems? And hasn’t she been pregnant for about a year now? What is Tom waiting for? P.S. that belly button looks like someone is taping a quarter to the basketball.

  16. PocketRocket

    That surely looks like the result of a tentacle rape. Demon seed, anyone?

    PS Tom Cruise REALLY loves the Cock!!

  17. lomies

    And under that I’m pretty sure she’s still wearing a wife beater tightly stretched over her nether regions

  18. syrax

    friends don’t let friends have alien babies- when is someone who cares about this mongoloid going to rescue her-we know tom likes his boys taller, maybe he’ll be tempted by Jack-O on stilts

  19. krisdylee

    BTW, that baby “dropped” since the last freaky picture… Us gals who’ve had babies know how that feels. Plus, she looks like a bloated manatee. I can only conclude she’s about to birth any second now.


  20. Binky

    Remember the old days ladies ? – when the only strap-on’s were used below the belt ?

  21. the_doctor

    good lord, isn’t she like, eleventy billion months pregnant? It doesn’t look like that baby has begun to drop at all.

  22. lomies

    PS she also looks kinda chipmunky in that first photo

  23. Celetina

    I don’t think I need to say anything about the baby (which appears to be making her entire body shift to one side) or the heinous coat with the mini-ruffle on the sleeves. I’m sure somebody else will do that.

    But her FACE! What the FUCK? And her HANDS! Those wrinkles! This cannot be Katie Holmes. This is a 40-year-old drag queen playing at Katie Holmes (or, as someone else suggested, it’s Tom Cruise in disguise). In the second photo she has the agonized crying-smiling expression of a battered wife trying to convince the world she’s just fine. I guess Tom Cruise beats her in the teeth. And the eyes. And the whole face. Whatever it is, it’s nasty.

    PS: her belly button is the size of a salad plate. Huh?

  24. PapaHotNuts

    In the second pic, it looks like she’s been eating handfuls of rocks.

    She has teeth like a baby shark and the stomach of an adult whale. The baby will be born like an infant horse. The first couple hours it’s balance will be off, but by the end of the day, it should be walking.

    Because the baby is already 6 years old.

    The day after it’s born, it will start 1st grade and begin playing tee-ball.

  25. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Thanks, Pregnancy, for ruining another hot chick. Just please let us have Beyonce and Jessica Alba for a few more years before you tear your ugly claws into them as well.

  26. mamacita

    Her jacket is very wrinkly.

  27. iocaine

    You ask what Tom’s waiting for, TaiTai? He’s waiting for the MI:3 premiere, which is May 5. This whole thing has been a stunt to get attention around that movie. There are other pictures from her shopping this weekend where the “baby” is really high up and her boobs are bigger. You’d think with all of the money he paid for this ruse (including the $250K he just shelled out for the in-home “hospital” since God knows no actual doctor in a hospital would play along with this lie), he could afford a better fake pregnancy suit. Please don’t see MI:3, anyone. It will just make Tom feel validated.

  28. CoJo

    WHAT-THE-FUCK!?! is with her teeth? Perhaps another rule of Scientology birth is that the mother is to remove any caps or tooth veneers from her mouth…either that or the herpes blisters that were on her lips started eating away at her tooth enamel…

  29. somewhere, james van der beek is crying.

  30. LookAtME

    I cannot believe with all of Cruise’s money.. this is what she looks like. Shitty outfit, hair a mess, teeth falling out, aged about 20 years… As someone who lives in Toledo, we hear all this stuff about her parents and how LIVID they are with Tom… Her father’s an attorney, for God sakes, RESCUE HER!! I’ve never witnessed anything so shocking in the Entertainment world.. I can’t wait to find out what really happened (once her brainwashing wears off) and she’s on with Barbara Walters.

  31. OMG, why? Why? Why did you have to show us that picture. do you hate us? yes, yes you do!

  32. Elikapeka

    Has anyone noticed that her breasts haven’t really caught up to speed with her belly? They’d at least be bumps in her shirt by now. FAKE BELLY FAKE BELLY.

  33. ellaminnowpea

    yes, Papa — she DOES have shark teeth…I bet she can chew food half way down her throat! How ’bout Tommy shelling out for some new chicklets for her? That ‘plug’ everyone refers to must be to keep that alien in place until his precious premier.

  34. Aimtrue

    Why was it weird when Michael Jackson used a woman to prove his manhood, but it is “normal” for Tom Cruise to do it with KH? Is this just another form of racism by the Man to keep a brother like Michael down?
    If not Cruise has the whole celeb thing wrong-You are not supposed to dump your wife when she gets older and then have children- you dump your wife and then bang as many young hotties as you can- only when you are getting close to creepy old man status do you latch on to the best piece of tail you can for the remainder of your ride i.e Michael Douglas.

  35. Aimtrue

    Aslo, the chick inthe more cowbell pic has almost the same out fit on, but is soooo much hotter

  36. Chrystal03

    Hey look, the more cowbell shirt gal totally matches Katie..er..Kate. Scientology maybe in cahoots with Superficial.

  37. TaiTai

    #19 this whole “baby dropped” theory would work just fine if the “baby” hadn’t already dropped about a month ago in previous photos. Then it mysteriously rose again, then dropped again. They just can’t seem to get it together in the photo ops.

    #27 you are exactly correct, same point I made in the Sharon Stone thread: Please don’t go see MI3! Not that you would be tempted anyway. Kumbaya, let’s all take a vow that the Superficial crowd will singlehandedly make MI3 the biggest bomb ever! Not that it will need help with that. But when it bombs you know we will all think it is because of us and our TCLTC mandate. Drinks all around for everyone, on me!

  38. Chrystal03

    Dammit, you beat me aimtrue…GRIPES!!

  39. ellaminnowpea

    What is with these chicks these days? As soon as they’re 15 minutes pregnant they start wearing billowy smocks and as soon as they get a belly on them, they switch over to belly/stretchmark baring too-small shirts? Can’t she afford maternity clothes? She never even TRIES to dress nicely…just roll out of bed, throw on jeans and whatever is kicked in the corner…why is she famous again?

  40. Aurora_BoreMeAlice

    #34 …and Warren Beatty in his day.

  41. mamacita


    “Is this just another form of racism by the Man to keep a brother like Michael down?”

    Unfortunately, your logic is tragically flawed. Michael isn’t a “brother” in any sense of the word, considering that he is neither black, nor male. This argument would only work if you were talking about Michael of the pre-Thriller era.

  42. ms.magoo

    Nothing would make me happier than if this baby came out black as night. Then, we would all know Katie is just a slut, and we could quit worrying about the end of the world.

  43. ellaminnowpea

    good eye, mama — good eye!

  44. ellaminnowpea

    …and that would be because it’s overcooked?!?! ….yeah, that’s the ticket!

  45. Italian Stallion

    Is her face having the baby or did she just get her wisdom teeth pulled?

  46. jennyjenjen

    In the first picture you can totally see the harness across her chest. FAKE!

  47. mamacita

    I think the quote unquote harness you’re referring to is what is otherwise known as a BRA.

  48. newbondsux

    i hit it.

    no…I mean it…espescially if it came after me trying to eat my soul…I’d hit it repeatedly with anything I could grab.

  49. Evangelia

    am i the only one who noticed that she looks like she’s about to burst into tears? like the horrible actress she is, she isn’t putting up a very good front.
    then again, wouldn’t we ALL be crying all day if we had to give birth to the antichrist?

  50. Evangelia

    p.s. #46, yeah, i can see the harness too. what makes me think that it isn’t a mere bra is the fact that it seems to be diagonal, unlike any (earthly) bra that i’ve ever seen.

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