Katie Holmes runs NYC marathon

November 5th, 2007 // 152 Comments

Katie Holmes ran the New York City marathon yesterday. Tom Cruise and their daughter Suri were on hand to watch Katie tackle the 26 mile trek. She had been training for months in Berlin, where Tom was filming his new movie Valkyrie, and at home, according to Ok! Magazine:

“Kate is determined to finish the race,” a source close to the couple revealed to OK! at the time. “She’s as fit and toned as ever.”

Katie, 28, remained just another runner until she entered the stretch, along Manhattan’s 1st Avenue, where a clandestinely dressed Tom awaited her to give her a congratulatory kiss. Sources tell OK! that her superstar hubby had also planned on throwing a huge bash in a tent in Central Park near Tavern on the Green, with all her family flown in from Ohio. Katie finished the race in 5 hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds.

There’s no doubt Katie Holmes is in shape, and I’m sure Tom encouraged her work-out regimen. He wanted to make sure she was strong and toned. Maybe flatten those breasts down. “I mean, who needs them?” Tom probably asked. “In fact,” he would add, “Have you noticed how fast my heterosexual buddy David Beckham is? You know what gives him that speed? His penis. Yeah, it’s like science or something. I read it in a book somewhere. Anyway, it’s something to think about. Don’t rush into a decision. Should you say yes, I might have a doctor in the next room. I mean, he’s just here to watch some football but, you know, if you really want to be the best runner you can be, this guy does some awesome work. In fact, when you went to the store, I got myself another penis. Check it out. Haha, it’s a tail!”

NOTE: You know what else slows you down? Bras. Katie Holmes knows what’s up.

Photos: INFdaily.com, Splash News

  1. hegadeth


  2. Texas Tranny

    Yeah, my penis makes me run faster.

  3. Zanna

    So she ran for a million miles without a bra? I can’t wait until she has to lift up her skirt to show us her tits.

  4. tee_07


  5. Frank Drebin

    She has a weird looking ass.

  6. yukadoozer

    Marathon training? What better excuse to get away from your controlling gay gate keeper than to steal away for hours running. Sounds like a plan.

  7. yukadoozer

    Marathon training? What better excuse to get away from your controlling gay gate keeper than to steal away for hours running. Sounds like a plan.

  8. yukadoozer

    Her body looks trampled.

  9. big

    nice try

  10. Allie

    Tom needs to buy her a sports bra. I don’t see how she could run the full marathon with those things dragging on the ground.

  11. Oyvey

    At least when I run marathons, I don’t have my blackberry and my personal assistant holding both them and my water for me. Sheesh.

  12. PunkA

    Katie is hoping to be able to run 100 miles soon. That way, no way in hell Tom or his freaks back at Xenu Ranch can catch her. Next race, she will try going with a back pack so Suri can hitch a ride. Just you watch. Sadly, Tom keeps Suri too close, cuz he knows she wants to run off and leave the freakshow Xenu Ranch.

  13. Jesso

    Is it too much to ask to wear a freakin bra? YikeS!

  14. Gerald_Tarrant

    Is it just my imagination or are her tits already way lower than they were? Babies ruin most chicks.

  15. PunkA

    By the way, notice the baldie running with her?? Yeah, you would think he was a security guard. But my guess is that TC paid him to make sure Katie didn;t try to run away and get lost. Forever. Baldie is a Xenu Guard. He protects the rich Xenu worshippers and family from getting away from kuku Ranch.

  16. hegadeth


  17. Matthew

    Run Katie Run….run away from the Sith Order (sciencetolgy) and tom…btw TCLTC

  18. JP

    Katie finished the marathon in five hours. Her nipples finished at four hours 55 minutes.

  19. DK

    Wow she is like a robot.

  20. jen

    Eww. Her ass is an ugly pancake ass. Also known as back with a crack.

  21. Tuna

    my pet goldfish has more sex appeal

  22. veggi

    26 miles? jezuz! I do this thing I call “run walk cough die” in the morning. NOT 26 miles of it though.

  23. Bene

    5.30 sucks, even for a first.
    4,4 mp/h // 7,7 km/h is hardly running, she must have finished with the last bunch

  24. JCD

    Her ass isn’t flat, that baby’s concave!
    Run Katie Run (from your scary husband)!

  25. JP

    Here is the beauty of the world: Tom Cruise is vastly more well-known than me. He has countless millions more than me. He has a better home, better cars, and nicer clothes than me. However, even with all that, his wife is far worse-looking than mine. There is some justice afterall.

  26. steve

    i’m naive. What’s TCTLTC?

  27. hausfrau

    She is one of those “fit and toned” people who doesn’t look fit and toned. She looks flabby, and her ass is horrible. And why the hell would any female run 26 miles with no bra on? I’m surprised her nipples didn’t catch on fire from the friction.

  28. hegadeth

    TCLTC = TC Loves The Cock!!

  29. ME

    First, she really needs a bra. She’s going to have boobs down to her knees before she’s 35 if she keeps running with the girls on the loose.

    Second, she really didn’t run very fast. She came in 34,195th place. The only Holmes that came in after her were 2 older women. For a 30 year old that is “in shape”, she should’ve been able to complete the race faster than she did.

  30. thebor

    Holy Shnikies, is there video of this, bouncin all over the place and whatnot.

    She’ll be baning Beckham in no time.
    TCLTC Duh

  31. CeeJay

    Why is her right nipple so freakishly high? If you look at the pics it doesn’t even line up with the left….I say boob job hence the lack of bra

  32. my comment

    Wading through ankle-deep through buckets of spit and empty cups at the end of all of this is…oh….so ….glamorous..

  33. You want the black meat...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BLACK MEAT

    Typical white girl – flat, shapeless ass, even when she’s physically fit. Lucky for her all the lil’ dicked white boys are happy with the hard nipples on her sagging boobs. Remember the ’50s? Boobs in tight sweaters, making all the lil white boys drool? They’re still stuck on that. Afraid to go below the waist. Scared lil boys. LMAO.

  34. 33 is an idiot

    @33- who writes “laughing my ass off” after something THEY wrote? You. Fucking idiot.

  35. Binky

    I like her cap ;-)

  36. Shallo Val is a bitch, I know......w/e

    She “ran” 26 miles without a bra? WTF is this stupid cooze thinking? Anyone else but a hollywood idiot would have the Cadillac of jogbras, but not katie. it’s all about the show, non?

  37. lift some weights!

    She needs to get in the squat rack ASAP with something heavier than a pink, one pound dumbbell. That’ll solve her flat ass problem…

  38. Clem

    Completing a marathon is no joke.
    Well done Katie.

  39. gotmilk?

    i think she just jumped in at the end. who runs (i use this term loosely here) 26 miles and doesn’t break a sweat? or wear a sports bra? i hope she’s already scheduled a breast lift.

  40. You want the black meat...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BLACK MEAT

    #34 – lmao @ crackers, like you. It was implied from the context. Lil dickie AND retarded. No wonder you’re so angry.

  41. you have a really really dumb name dude.

    @40- keep writing and prove my point further, please!

  42. Valerie hates talentless hacks

    39 – holy shit batman, you’re right. Not a lick of sweat. Jesus, these people are so, so unreal.

    And, Ewwww, lookit her ass…..

  43. big

    can you even get your head into a room with those big fucking porch monkey lips?

  44. 33 is illiterate

    33, wtf are you talking about? do you even know?

    and no, most of us don’t remember the 50s because we weren’t alive. hell, my parents weren’t even alive.

  45. D. Richards

    Ha-Ha-Ha! Tom, look at Katie. It looks almost as if she is concentrating as hard as she possibly can, just not to fall over. I thought that the more you age, the older you look? Odd, because Katie isn’t thirty yet, but looks to be about sixty-five or so. Check Holmes’s hips out. What in the fuck happened? Was she involved in an accident that I didn’t know about? Fucking un-godly shapes, man. L. Ron? The least you could do for someone who’s spouse paid all the money, and has been completely been “audited”; someone who has a PHD in everything, is to fix his crippled, retardedly legged wife.

  46. You want the black meat...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BLACK MEAT

    #41 – sure thing, cracker. Hey, did you read about all the women who have a forbidden fantasy about fucking a white dude? You didn’t? Yeah, that’s because they don’t. Proves my point.

  47. veggi

    @40- I can’t believe you got your “you’re” right. Anything can happen, I suppose.

  48. You want the black meat...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BLACK MEAT

    #44 – You type using letters like crackers’ dicks: all of them are half-sized.

  49. You want the black meat...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BLACK MEAT

    #47 – I don’t recall inviting lesbians to this conversation.

  50. veggi

    oh holy hell guys, we’ve got a retard on the loose! I’m not gonna say any names, but he seems to think that black dicks and lines from tom cruise movies go together.

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