Katie Holmes could really, seriously, for real this time possibly be pregnant again. The cover story for OK! Magazine claims she put on 10 pounds and her appearance at two red carpet events has people talking. And by people I mean the editors at OK! who are dedicated to saying Katie is pregnant every 2-3 months:
But when the slender star showed up wearing loose-fitting dresses at both the Costume Designers Guild Awards and the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards that seemed to reveal the hint of a bump to spectators, the question on everyone’s lips was: Could Katie have a baby on board?
“She has that special glow that only pregnant women have,” an eyewitness tells OK!. “I would say there is a strong possibility that she’s pregnant.”
Before I destroy the pregnancy rumors like the Bruce Lee of Gossip that I am, why is Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards? They’re neither black nor women. Moving on. First, if Katie was pregnant she wouldn’t have that special glow. She’d have the bewildered look of someone who just got inseminated by a turkey baster because her husband cries at the sight of vaginas. As for the extra 10 pounds, hello, she’s got a midget strapped to her waist. Okay, technically it’s Tom Cruise, but now you’re just splitting hairs.
tanya | February 27, 2008 at 11:47 am
Whatever
tanya | February 27, 2008 at 11:47 am
Oh and frist!
aeuwave | February 27, 2008 at 11:48 am
can a man even get pregnant? i am not very good at biology but i am certain that is a man…
Jimbo | February 27, 2008 at 11:48 am
Well all know if she is pregnant, it is not Tom’s
Auntie Kryst | February 27, 2008 at 11:51 am
How much of L Ron Hubbards sperm did these scientologists freeze?
Joco | February 27, 2008 at 11:52 am
I just noticed that she has some fuckin monster sized hands and she looks like a sk8er boi
Jumpshots | February 27, 2008 at 11:53 am
Great. My friends told me they met each other on millionairefriends.com. congrats to them.
Rat | February 27, 2008 at 11:54 am
$1,000,000 for tom cruise’s death!
not quite sure | February 27, 2008 at 11:54 am
good to see her wearing heels as she should, but she’s still slouching a bit to keep more even to that little freak. Also something looks “off” with her face. Not that she looks bad, but something different. Seems too young for going under the knife, but really something is different about her.
not quite sure | February 27, 2008 at 11:54 am
good to see her wearing heels as she should, but she’s still slouching a bit to keep more even to that little freak. Also something looks “off” with her face. Not that she looks bad, but something different. Seems too young for going under the knife, but really something is different about her.
Pregnancy is so populat at the Celeb Club | February 27, 2008 at 11:57 am
She’s pregnant? I can’t understand why the pregnancy is so popular in the previous months. Just at the celeb club, I’ve heard of tens of celebs have pregnanted in the previous months.
mamadough | February 27, 2008 at 12:08 pm
she probably just needs to take a good, hearty dump
sandi | February 27, 2008 at 12:12 pm
She looks so androgynous. I thought it was weird when Tom Cruise showed up at Oprah’s Legends Ball.
Spazz | February 27, 2008 at 12:15 pm
She is pretty hot, as brainwashed androids go.
then die bitch!!!!! | February 27, 2008 at 12:19 pm
WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO OLD?
Anonymous | February 27, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Who the hell cares about some crazy bastard and his robot wife? They both suck.
gotmilk? | February 27, 2008 at 12:26 pm
9 – something is up with her face….just can’t pinpoint it.
she’s dressed like a goddamn golden girl. more importantly, are those fucking shoulder pads in her dress? jesus h, if those are coming “back” i am going to go on a shooting spree though the fashion district in nyc.
Gerald_Tarrant | February 27, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Tom was being honored for saving the lives of 10000 black women in Rwanda. Captain Scientology put on his favorite pink tights and flew over there to stop the genocide with nothing more than a penis fixation, a set of ridiculous capped teeth and the mighty power of L. Ron Hubbard. Tom is a true humaitarian.
D. Richards (Saint.) | February 27, 2008 at 12:30 pm
‘Glow’? That’s not the glow of a pregnant woman on Holmes’ face, it’s the ejaculate of a ‘Group 7′, as the scientologists refer to it.
Group 7 is where seven scientologist males, not including the husband, are assembled by L. Ron Hubbard’s spirit. The husband is directed to stand motionless in the corner of a waiting area while the woman, in this case, Holmes, is taken in to a small room in a dianetics facility where she is then placed on the floor, blindfolded. One of the walls of the room is a two-way mirror — this is from where L. Ron’s spirit watches and croons. The woman’s blindfold is removed and the men produce their penises; they masturbate on to the woman’s face and eyes while they chant, chant, chant Hubbards name.
Another woman then comes out from behind a partition and draws an X on the prone woman’s forehead. The woman that drew the X says, ‘To life and death, the unborn of your womb, is the heart of our savior, L. Ron Hubbard.’
The semen is allowed to dry and the woman is forbidden to wash her face for forty-eight hours.
sicasso | February 27, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Xenu cums again.
Gerald_Tarrant | February 27, 2008 at 12:37 pm
#19 – Dick, Tom Cruise is looking for you. You shouldn’t have exposed the inner workings of Scientology. Prepare for a lawsuit.
Also, apparently OK! Magazine didn’t get the memo. TCLTC.
Italian Stallion | February 27, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I wonder who keeps getting this bitch pregnant? I hope this one comes out half nagger…………
sla | February 27, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Theories and arguments:
1. She’s not pregnant — the “baby bump” is the beginning of a distended belly like you see on starving African children. Bitch is skinny.
2. She is pregnant – she’s got that same god damn smug expression of serenity knocked-up Angelina has been sporting lately.
3. She’s insane – she is beginning to dry hump Tomelina in the last picture.
4. Tom is shrinking – his legs are stumpier than ever.
5. Tom hearts Mr. Rogers – WTF is up with the sweater?
6. I have way too much time on my hands – I’m here, aren’t I?
Observation: He’s got a shit load of money, a compound in Telluride, a plane AND comprehends all the mysteries of the earth and beyond. Can’t he just go away already?
Also, I covet her shoes.
Vince Lombardi | February 27, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Hmm. Katie Holmes…. Cate Blanchett… Hallie Berry…. Angelina Jolie…. Nicole Kidman….
Coach thinks more than Sarah Silverman are fucking Matt Damon.
Funny, Tom Cruise thinks “impotent” is actually “important” and stands a little taller whenever he hears it. We had a ballboy his size during the ’63 season, Auntie, remember?
sportsdvl | February 27, 2008 at 12:41 pm
My God those are some freaky large hands! I think she might be a Terminator.
Oh, and I heard she’s been on http://www.freakybighandgirlswholikefags.com.
#1 & #2 – you are a loser.
D. Richards (Sacrifice.) | February 27, 2008 at 12:47 pm
#21 — Gerald, I’m doing it for the people. They need to know. They deserve to know.
FROST!!! | February 27, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I’m fucking Matt Damon!!
D. Richards (Nihilist.) | February 27, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Frist? You spelled your name wrong.
gotmilk? | February 27, 2008 at 12:54 pm
now that you’ve mentioned the shoes, i’m now vomiting because she matched them to his gay tie & sweater. i hate these two douchebags. what do they think this is, the prom?
FROST!!! | February 27, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Shhhhh, I’m undercover..
Laura | February 27, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Normally I merely check this site for the witty commentary, but this time, I almost pissed myself. Okay. I actually pissed myself. But the laugh was worth it. I must have burned like 15 calories in the process, right?
Auntie Kryst | February 27, 2008 at 1:07 pm
@24 My memory is fading. It wasn’t that little runt Eric Johanson was it? Didn’t you take pity on him when you found out that his dad was trampled to death by a few hundred head of herefords down at the stockyards?
Barge | February 27, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I wish people could quit being so stupid about fashion. It’s just that the dress doesn’t have a waistline.
Jesus. Just Jesus! The stupidity.
gracie law | February 27, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Her shoes match his tie and cardigan…..
gracie law | February 27, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Her shoes match his tie and cardigan…..
Sambo the Ass Pirate | February 27, 2008 at 1:25 pm
TCLTC
FCS | February 27, 2008 at 1:30 pm
What a cute Android. if they ever remake Blade Runner she’s a shoe in.
havoc | February 27, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Can’t we get some more Kim Kardashian pics please?
Preferably upskirt or downshirt…..
Mucho appreciado…..
.
bird | February 27, 2008 at 1:39 pm
O M G this can’t happen again! I just read that they don’t even let poor littl Suri eat Happy Meals! WTF that is just horrendous…we as a Big Mac crammin’ culture must not let this happen.
julia bella | February 27, 2008 at 1:42 pm
she looks miserable….fake smile!!!
Vince Lombardi | February 27, 2008 at 1:54 pm
@32. No, no…. you’re thinking of Ole Johanssen. It was *his* dad that got trampled. Eric Johanson’s dad died in a cheese press, so we gave him a job bleaching Paul Hornung’s hair and fucking Jim Ringo (until Ben Affleck came along, that is). No, the ballboy was Sven Johansson. Completely different person. Yah, yoor mem’ry is goin’, I tink.
ipanema_schuyler | February 27, 2008 at 1:54 pm
dick, what you just described, isn’t it what the japanese love to do once in a while…? btw, a bit cheesy. i’ve read better stories at literotica’s bottom 100… but hey! whatever. TCLTC.
Katie Holmes? could she possibly be any taller? and tom any stumpier??
Gerald_Tarrant | February 27, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Tom is wearing his purple “Katie I’ll fucking kill you if you ever wear heels that make you look taller than me again” sweater.
D. Richards (Fluffer.) | February 27, 2008 at 2:34 pm
#42? Cheesy? Are you serious? You’re kidding.
‘BTW’, I can’t make this shit up; I’ve witnessed ‘Group 7′ with my own eyes.
ipanema_schuyler | February 27, 2008 at 2:54 pm
#44: the blindfolding part was a bit cheesy.
ever been fluffed? *winkey*
ah, i thought you chickened out last time. but it seems, just fucking time zones interfered.
D. Richards | February 27, 2008 at 3:24 pm
No, the scientologist’s blindfold their women so that they can’t escape. The hallways in those dianetic centers aren’t very labyrinth like. Which is odd considering their founder-overlord, L. Ron Hubbard, lived most of his life as a rodent.
I’m not chicken. Hook me up with your e-mail address (Wink).
sara | February 27, 2008 at 3:25 pm
She looks great. Indeed, she looks better than everyone else. It looks like marrying Cruise paid off after all, as I’ve always known.
erin | February 27, 2008 at 3:30 pm
She doesn’t look pregnant, and a girl just wear a loose/comfortable dress?
discombobulated | February 27, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Wait, which one is Tom and which one is Katie? I just can’t tell anymore. If that’s what scientology creates…………….then sign me up!
ipanema_schuyler | February 27, 2008 at 4:11 pm
hey Dick!
You first.