Katie Holmes now Kate Holmes

April 28th, 2006 // 296 Comments

kate-holmes-name-change.jpgWith the help of Tom Cruise’s brilliant guidance, Katie Holmes has changed her name to Kate. After discussing the subject of names, the two decided her Christian name “Katie” sounded too young for a 27-year-old and she would now be known to friends and family as “Kate.” Tom says:

“Katie is a young girl’s name. Her name is Kate now


  1. Obadiah

    Zed, I love you.

  2. BigJim

    Hey! Quit telling Edna to get lost you brainless fuckwits. There are a lot of people here who really like Edna.

    You “read” that Edna? I like you. Well, I don’t like you in THAT way, but I still like you because you’ve given me a new purpose in life, which is to make fun of you, you big fat fatty.

    Free Edna!

  3. frenchtoaststix

    #95: I think it’s Freudian and hilarious that the place young repressed religious Christian men go to learn how to be old horny pedophiles moved from parish to parish is called a “seminary.” Makes me inwardly giggle everytime I think about it…just like Tom and Kate’s media-generated fake relationship and their three-headed alien baby…

  4. TaftHartley

    Come on!!! Don’t you “git” Edna. She is righteous and pure. There is a childlike innocence and beauty about her. And frankly, since she’s been on this board, I’ve become a bit of a convert. Go Edna, you mountain of righteous fury and decency……. and lard.

  5. Star Maker Machinery

    Kate, the whole mind-control thing is getting old. Jane Fonda has you beat by about 30 years, and at least her then-husband made her do interesting things like solicit prostitutes and fuck strange men.
    Btw, removing a few vowels from your name isn’t going to make you a better actress. Xenu can only do so much.

  6. Zed

    I like to keep the goal-oriented focused.

    Focus, Edna! Focus, I say!

    And git.

  7. sweetlips

    Edna, why did you crawl out from under your rock….go back. I am reporting you for being a dumb ass bitch who is more boring that watching a turd float in the toilet.

  8. happy_bunny


    I RULE!!!

  9. Edna Bambrick

    #107 You are REPORTED!

  10. sweetlips

    Yeah Yeah Yeah……jesus is calling you Edna…he wants you to get back under your rock…than you might get some cock! You know you’d love it Edna..you dream about it all the time, that’s why you read all of our nasty stuff….get’s you all wet down there.

  11. Lesbians4Bush

    Edna, you’re back, … bitch.

    All this bait, and no SLIMY SLUGS?!? Where is sherry-co(cksucker)?

  12. sweetlips

    #104 – LOL LOL. Poor Edna.

  13. sherry-cocksucker

    SLIMY, SLIMY SLUGS, all you ppl are pure EVIL, SCIENTOLOGY RULES, you trailer trash, and TOM CRUISE LOVES THE COCK.

  14. sherry-co

    Why do you SLIMY SLUGS always have to twist the words around to make them out to be something vile? IF all of you would pull your heads out of you ass..you would see it says..”After discussing the subject of names, the two decided” Katie is an adult, and if she didnt want to be with Tom she wouldnt be. He was gone most of this last week promoting his movie in Europe and first returned yesterday. If she didnt want to be with Tom she had 4 days to pack up and leave but she didnt…SO get your facts straight…

  15. ellaminnowpea

    @114 – you poor misguided thing!…she COULDN’T leave…she’s now an official hostage…if she can’t even go out alone for a cup of coffee…what makes you so sure she can leave the house with her offspring? duh!!!!

  16. gammanormids

    You know what is not suitable for a 27 years old woman either? Being treated like a 10 years old girl by her husband.
    Grow Up, KATIE! Take teh child and run for it!

  17. ellaminnowpea

    ***please note I said “her offspring” and did not mention TC…..just throwin’ that out there…..

  18. Sweetsens8tion

    Believe me I KNOW!! I work at the Celebrity Centre…And I PERSONALLY know she can and could have left ANYTIME she wants or wanted to.

  19. ellaminnowpea

    I don’t believe that for a minute….he’s remade her soul, remade her name….next thing ya know he’s going to send her in for an operation to take 3″ off her femurs to make her shorter….He finally found a ‘mark’ that was lacking enough personal identity….someone who was gullible & starstruck enough to get sucked into his cult circus…..Really, really sad……

  20. CruisingForCock

    @114 Sherry-co, good news for you. The branch davidians that didn’t die in Waco are getting out soon. You seem to like CULTS. Look them up…

  21. BigJim

    Edna and sherry-cumdumpster have been rather intermittant in their posts because they’ve been busy carpet munching the hell out of each other.

    Hey, Edna. What do heathens taste like? You been hitting her pussy like a box of Oreos. Haven’t you, ya fucking whale.

    sherry-cunt: what does righteous indignation taste like.


  22. BigJim

    Don’t know where that “E” came from.

  23. HollyJ

    (59)tsarina – Thanks! I knew I’d forget some good ones. DAMN! I hate when that happens…

    (61)Queen – If {epidurals are} done properly (and by that I mean slightly overdone), you don’t feel shit. They usually turn it down too early, though, “so you can push” and then it hurts like being impaled on Edna’s pointy nose


  24. ellaminnowpea

    it seems that Sherryco is the one who lives a vacant life, worshiping Scientology & lusting to be a celebrity-wannabe-legend-in-her-own-mind in her trailer home and is looking longingly at the McMansions springing up around her….which reminds me…..look out your kitchen window and wave hi!…that’s me out on my deck sippin’ the margarita!

  25. HollyJ

    OMG, how the hell did six people post while I typed that shit?


  26. sherry-cocksucker


    The press release said “the two decided …”

    TCLTC said, “Katie is a young girl’s name. Her name is Kate now

  27. ellaminnowpea

    @121/122…..you got a problem with E you wanna talk about?

  28. Edna Bambrick

    #121 You have been REPORTED! I will pray for you.

  29. krisdylee

    Wait… what if we are all wrong? Just what if these two actually love eachother, made sweet love and conceived a beautiful baby girl together? and they really are getting married and bwa hahahahhahhahhah

    man, I tried to keep it together… couldn’t do it.
    TCLTC all the time and twice on Sundays…

  30. BigJim


    You’d be the first to pray for me. Let me know how that works out.

  31. Fa Cube Itches

    Anyone remember Tom’s big hair-metal hit?

    “I luvda cock! (Cock!)
    I luvda cock! (Cock!)
    I LOVE THE COCK! (Cock!)
    I luvda cock! (Cock!)

    ‘Want some gash?’ you say
    Well all I gotta say to you is time and time again I say ‘NO!’ (No-no-no-no-no!)
    Ask me if I’m gay,
    well all I got to say to you while I get ass-laid is ‘NO!’ (No-no-no-no-no!)
    So if you ask me why I like to chug meat- whistle
    There’s only one thing I can say to you:

    I luvda cock! (Cock!)
    I luvda cock! (Cock!)
    I LOVE THE COCK! (Cock!)
    I luvda cock! (Cock!)”

  32. ellaminnowpea

    @129……nice try….appreciate the effort! you really had me goin’ there for a minute…I thought perhaps you were kidnapped and brainwashed….but glad to see you’re still in your right mind…

  33. Miss Smith

    #41 – So true. I remember on Oprah, he called her “Kate” over and over … repetition of her “new” name (your name is Kate now), new friends, not allowed to see the old friends = classic brainwashing. What is that theory, that you can brainwash someone in a few days with sleep deprivation??? there’s an old article about how she spent her first date with Cruise flying all around the world on a “dinner date,” and then she went “missing” for 14 days – no word from her, to friends or family.
    I must get his fast-action plan secrets. There’s this guy who hasn’t been succumbing to my advances fast enough …

  34. krisdylee

    I had 2 babies, no epidurals and made LOTS of noise…. Silent birth, my ass. Tom you are such a faggoty, glib asshole, and I would love to ask you a few questions… How do you explain that your “religion” was created by a science fiction writer??? 50 fuckin’ years ago??? How can you justify your beliefs when so many people feel that you are in a cult??? Did you cut our Katie’s tongue, and is that why she doesn’t talk anymore???? And yet, my life would be rather dull if Tom wasn’t spoutin’ crazy talk all the time….

  35. krisdylee

    Oh, and Edna, you big fat hairy cunt wad, take this advice: Jesus is a myth… Open your eyes, look around the world, and expand your fuckin’ mind, if you can. And if you can’t, take your bible and crucifix and shove it so far up your ass, your dentist could read John 3:15…

  36. pepper brooks

    LOL #30

    You know sherry-co and Edna are really boring, the fake crap is really old, and I usually change stories when they start posting. But some of the hate-posts rock my socks. As long as you guys keep replying in ridicule instead of true pissed-offednesss, bring ‘em on!! I heart you Edna, and the mockery that you inspire.

    Why does kidney-scraping (brilliant!) midget man keep hooking up with these gorgeous tall women? He’s seriously like 4’2″ or something. Like marrying a gay terrier, or something

  37. Fa Cube Itches



    One of those courtroom sketch artists captured the likeness quite well, I think.

  38. sweetlips

    sherry-co and edna are still busy munching, otherwise they’d be on here with their lame ass comments. Edna you are soooo boring cum up with something better than “Reported” it’s as dry as your pussy.

  39. Queen Eva


    HAHAHA!!! Oh my goodness BigJim!!!

    You are amazing!

  40. pepper brooks

    haha for the E
    BigJim you tickle my jiblets today

  41. krisdylee

    Fuck off you whores, BigJim is mine…

  42. Dragulf

    You mean you don’t remember Tom stating that her name was now Kate many months ago and on Oprah several times. He is an obnoxious fool. Celebs need to shut up. their opinions don’t matter. really.
    What is sad is how bad an ‘actor’ he is. Poor katie! He tried to get everyone to call her Kate before and everyone ignored him. Let’s ignore him again.


  43. Edna Bambrick

    #138 REPORTED!

  44. Yoda.a.green.schlong.has

    Tom Cruise the cock loves. Homo Scientologist ass-clown, he is.

  45. sweetlips

    Edna! The rock! Remember, you are suppose to be under it! Crawl on back now you dried up piece of “holy” crap.

  46. Mr_White_Secure_American


  47. sweetlips

    146 – Maybe you can take Edna to church with you and feed her some of the Libtard Salad…I think she’d like it.

  48. Mr_White_Secure_American


  49. sweetlips


  50. Yoda.a.green.schlong.has

    Mr. White Shriveled ( WTFC ),

    1. What the fuck is a “LIBTARD”? From your post, I get the ‘tard part, …

    2. How would you and your fellow churchgoers “CURE” TCLTC of “THE GAY”? Immersion therapy, I’ll bet.

    You love the cock, Christian ass-clowns!

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