Katie Holmes not exactly a Broadway draw

Katie Holmes is currently rehearsing for the Broadway revival of All My Sons. But it turns out she’s not much of a box-office draw. Why? Old people have no idea who the hell she is, according to Star:

Although some people blame the economy, other Broadway shows — like Mamma Mia — are selling out.
“It did not sell like they had hoped for,” a Broadway insider tells Star. “To the theatergoing crowd, generally an older audience, Katie’s not a ‘name’ like Julia Roberts, whose run in Three Days of Rain sold out immediately. Katie hasn’t done anything Broadway patrons recognize her for — except maybe marrying Tom Cruise.”

Since I know old people freaking love the Internet and read this site daily between downloading episodes of Murder, She Wrote, I’m going to help Katie out:

The Superficial’s Guide for Seniors on Who the Dickety is Katherine Holmes

Katherine “Katie” Holmes is an American actress who sacrificed her promising career to marry once-legendary actor turned alien worshiper Tom Cruise in an effort to disguise his homosexuality. Sort of like Liberace but way, way more obvious.
Oh, and one time she totally showed some boob in The Gift. It was awesome.

The End.

Photos: Splash News
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