Katie Holmes? More like Kevin Holmes (Get it? Because she looks like a boy.)

August 5th, 2008 // 57 Comments

“Okay, stay cool, Katie. The scarf is working. So you forgot you had rehearsal today and had to run out of the apartment in your Tom clothes. You were caught up playing ‘The Ship’s Captain Meets the Young Stow Away Who is Definitely a Dude.’ There’s no crime in being a good wife. Er, partner. (Sorry, Tom!) Now act natural. You were in Mad Money, dammit, and you’re a pro. Man, I am really late. If they replace me with Maggie Gyllenhaal, I will seriously flip the fuck out. But quietly in my head or else the shock collar will go off. That thing stings like a bitchass.”

Photos: Splash News

  1. surlywench

    She looked cutest with the bob cut. This one isn’t bad on h er, but I do see an alarming trend of her hair getting shorter and shorter. What’s next? A buzz cut?

  2. mike jones


  3. rough daddy

    cute but sexless…

  4. soahc

    either Tom is gay or he has no taste in women.

  5. kate

    am i the only one who noticed that everything on this site is in italics for some reason?

  6. Crystal

    what was she thinking when she put this outfit on?? something is seriously wrong here.

  7. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Its strange in some photos her shirt is long sleeved and in some short?
    Is she trying to distract us with that gamet from something? Some bruises on her neck maybe?Blackeyes?

  8. The Kilted Yaksman

    Friends don’t let friends peg their jeans. On the other hand Tom probably lets Katie “peg” him all the time.

  9. sadman

    she used to be hot damn it, it’d help if she stopped getting these gawdawful boy haircuts… and her body has seen better days. shit, I think she’s just given up.
    hope she can get back

  10. yo yo #5, no brainer there.

  11. yukadoozer

    When will her electric shock treatment be over?

  12. Can;t you guys see between the lines here? Boy this board is so stupids

  13. D

    #6 – I noticed everything is in italics and it’s annoying. plus, the killer popups are back. wtf is going on with this site??

  14. josh

    I think she looks pretty cool…

  15. ………………tommy was out of town?

  16. I wonder if that scarf is hiding ligature marks…

  17. of course she’s turning into a man!! tom wouldn’t sleep with her otherwise. duh!

  18. #13 – “Boy this board is so stupids”

    Yea… it’s the board that’s so “stupids”… not you…

  19. Dick LaDouche

    Nicole Kidman must be thanking the heavens that she got out of that cult

  20. areuretarded

    she’s pregnant obviously

  21. Randal

    Love the look Katie! Are those jeans from A&F? They look the style but any type of jean would look great on your form fitting body. The scarf adds that extra flare which pulls the eye down toward your opened shirt.

    See you soon!


  22. That dude looks totally ghey…

  23. ___


    The only reason you love the look is because she now oficially looks like an affeminate dude. Please take your fashion review to an appropriate venue. And why do you write directly to the people in the pictures as if they are actually reading? Fuck off, pillow biter. Go spread your sunshine elsewhere.

  24. maggie

    I think she looks pretty hot. Gives her a bit of edge.

  25. zegabe

    you don’t fucking understand because you’re not CLEAR.
    and, if you were an Operating Thetan Level 9 THEN you’d know why she looks like this.

    Xadu Rules!

    by the way for only $999.99 i can:
    1. explain to you why she’s changing her looks (saving at least $1000.000 to become a thetan level 9!)
    2. declare you CLEAR, as long as you can tell me who’s boobs those are in the pictures I’d show you (SPECIAL OFFER! to help you become clear, for only an additional $225 i’ll only use pics from thesuperficial to help you… see more clearly)
    3. give you a special edition XADU miniature keychain!

    sorry scientology. i think i got the whole purpose of your “church” and thought i’d use the “knowledge” to “help” others while I make a modest amount of money. Of course, i still recognize and bow to the Church as the maximum authority on ripping off people.

  26. Jeremy

    Holy flipping frick. Please tell me tight rolls are not coming back.

  27. Cattyluo

    Her profile was found on M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e . c o m —More excellent pictures will be found on this site.Don’t miss it.

  28. #27 – Heh heh, heh heh… come… back… heh heh


  29. sixpack

    never had an interest in this girl…and now that she’s with that asshat, forget it!

  30. Jay

    Cute and sexy. Outshines Tom even on a cloudy day. Tom is a metrosexual and primps. Katie is a WOMAN who dresses, not a sissy little girl or over coiffed, botaxed California lap lion. If I was younger and she was insane, I’d hit that any day.

  31. I’d only hit that if she agreed to box.

  32. waybigdog

    And here I thought Ashley Simpson was married to the guy pictured above .

  33. norton

    She looks emaciated.

  34. Paola

    Hey that’s not the same sweater, those out fits are not the same! I like her hair…….

  35. Dorito Man

    There’s nothing wrong with her, folks. (Except her taste in men) She looks great.

  36. Jumpin_J

    Hey kids, I heard there’s tickets available to to see her on Broadway in All My Sons. Plenty of tickets. Loads of tickets. I think they could get the entire audience that saw Mad Money to see her on Broadway. Yawwwn. Remind me again why we give two $#@! about her?

  37. Bohhhhhhhhh

    I Think she looks pregnant………. -.-

  38. Nikki

    She’s a cutie..not the best choice of pants, but eh we all have those days.

  39. she looks happier than i’ve seen her in a long time. but those god-awful ill-fitting pegged jeans have got to go! at the very least, lose the pegs!

  40. Matthew

    Free Katie and TCLTC

  41. Boston_Freek

    #24 Screw you dude. Randal is one of the main reasons I come to this site. Go blow yourself….Randal rocks

  42. Nor Cal

    She has been running those jeans for the last 5 times i’ve seen her in pix. Is she trying to bring that style in? It’s not hot at all! she probably thinks she has some influence on style in America and prove that millions of girls will wear this gunk of a way to roll jeans because she didn’t take em off for a year and have her ego stroked for a retarded reason. Katie is one of the prettiest girls in the biz and even w/a dike hair cut she’s a cutie. I want to hate her way more than i do, but she is kind of adorable. bitch

  43. Janet

    Are those french cuffs?

  44. Blah

    that is one lost girl…or should I say, lost boy

  45. friendlyfires

    She resembles a cold Gallic lipstick lesbo tryin’ to pass for butch but only manages to come off as a prepubescent male prostitute trolling for old queens off of Leicester Square.

    There, top THAT Superficial Writer!

  46. mary

    I think this is called a mental breakdown or a meltdown. OMG, what’s next?
    It’s getting to be like watching Amy Winehouse, very painful.

  47. mary

    I think this is called a mental breakdown or a meltdown. OMG, what’s next?
    It’s getting to be like watching Amy Winehouse, very painful.

  48. roop

    Nice ascot there Fred, going off to solve another groovy mystery? Oh you meddling Scientologist you!

  49. Fasc(ion)ist(a)

    I just peed a little bit reading your post.

    Back to the Mystery Van (don’t bogart the Scooby snacks!)!!!

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