is reporting that Katie Holmes is pregnant with her second child with Tom Cruise. She was spotted with Tom in Madrid, trying to hide her bump under a loose dress as they watched David Beckham’s last game at Real Madrid. And even though she’s in the early stages of pregnancy, she apparently downed some alcohol at the post-match party.
A source said: “Katie and Tom are thrilled about having another baby on the way. She is glowing with happiness.”
As crazy as Tom Cruise is, Suri turned out to be painfully cute. The only way their next kid is even going to come close is if it comes out a baby koala dressed in a sailor outfit.
UPDATE: Apparently Katie Holmes’ baby bump can appear and disappear at will. The Daily Mail has a pretty comprehensive analysis of the whole thing. Thanks to Jack for the tip, who I hear can pleasure a woman just by looking at them.
boze | June 19, 2007 at 3:32 pm
id hit a pregnant woman like her
black onesie | June 19, 2007 at 3:33 pm
what kind of DAMN bathing suit is that? ew!
bungoone | June 19, 2007 at 3:35 pm
wtf kind of bathing suit is that? she looks to be about 80 years old with that thing on.
and she should watch it with that metal buckle. predatory fish are very attracted to flashes of metal.
john c public | June 19, 2007 at 3:37 pm
I loathe scientology, but I would still tap ‘dat ass.
Twice.
jrzmommy | June 19, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Ok, she hid the bump under a loose dress. So where’s she hiding her ass?
Victor | June 19, 2007 at 3:38 pm
You mean she let Tom Cruise stick his dick in her? Wait, you mean Tom stuck his dick in her, isn’t that dirty, isn’t that too dirty for Scientology? No, no nevermind, it isn’t he was going to eat her placenta. But yeah I agree #1, I would hit it to. Even suck the crust douche remains from her pubic hairs.
Wanky | June 19, 2007 at 3:39 pm
wow…shes not that cute girl anymore…shes a woman now
Kikki | June 19, 2007 at 3:39 pm
What the hell kind of suit is that? I mean, Come On!
Still, she looks better than Brittney spears.
And who is REALLY getting katie knocked up? Or are they adopting. Because you know Tom Cruise is totally gay. And I still think Suri looks Asian.
TRoller | June 19, 2007 at 3:41 pm
What waste waster treatment plant is she swimming in?
BarbadoSlim | June 19, 2007 at 3:41 pm
And, who’s stunt-cock did they hire for THIS newest farce…..?
Suri | June 19, 2007 at 3:46 pm
My daddy uses a machine that pulls the tadpoles out of his weewee and shoots them into mommy’s kittycat. Uncle Leather runs the machine.
Jimbo | June 19, 2007 at 3:46 pm
@10 Mini Me
bungoone | June 19, 2007 at 3:47 pm
judging by the looks of the first kid, the father is 100% Jackie Chan. I saw it on Maury Povich.
bigsteamyone | June 19, 2007 at 3:50 pm
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4 !
Ahem Roid | June 19, 2007 at 3:50 pm
It’ll be interesting to see which guy (other than TC) the baby looks like. Everybody says Suri looks like Chris Klein, and Tom’s ass looks like John Travolta’s pelvic bone.
kate | June 19, 2007 at 3:51 pm
katie is so pretty.She and her daughter are very cute. She a great mom and a wonderful role mom to her daughter.She look gorgeous as always.
bungoone | June 19, 2007 at 3:52 pm
16, yes, every one dreams that their daughter will find a flaming gay husband just like mommy did!
WowJustWow | June 19, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Suri is very very cute. Katie looks good too. Nice haircut and I do like the one-piece bathing suit on her.
Tom is crazy. That’s all.
YouRang | June 19, 2007 at 3:56 pm
#11 Yeah Suri, the device is called a fucking machine. He straps a four pound dildo to it, and sets the machine on blistering fast with the balls being rammed up his ass and all. He can’t stop coming after that. Any woman in the room is going to get pregnant. It’s quite explosive.
momofboys | June 19, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I think she looks great. Thank god she’s wearing something age-appropriate. She’s someone’s mother for god’s sake and she looks classy, unlike Britney who looks cheap and very trailer-trashy.
BANGBANG | June 19, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Not again.
LAILONI | June 19, 2007 at 3:59 pm
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I’M HAPPY ABOUT THIS! THIS IS GOOD NEWS! KATIE HOLMES, IS THE SMARTEST CHICK, YET!sHE KNOW’S THAT GETTING KNOCKED UP WITH THE 2ND BABY IS MORE MONEY! tOM CRUISE, IS PAID! wOW, SOMETHING REALLY WAS WRONG WITH NICOLE’S PLUMBING!
wedgeone | June 19, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Yes, she’s a wonderful “role mom” – here’s Suri in 10 years, when Katie asks her to follow Tom around to see what he’s getting her for their aniversary:
Katie: Well, did you see what he got me for our anniversary?
Suri: Well first, he went to see a movie.
Katie: A movie? Hmm, I wonder why he’d wanna see a movie by himself.
Suri: I don’t know. But it wasn’t the movie theater at the mall. No, it was that, really old theater downtown. The Studcat. I didn’t know it was open.
Katie: Wait a minute. What was the movie called?
Suri: Fisting Firemen 9. I’ve never seen 1 through 8.
Katie: Oh my God!
Suri: Uh, but it must have been a real short movie, though, because Dad came out, like, ten minutes later. And it must have been a sad film, too, because, he had a bunch of tissue paper with him when he came out. Poor old Dad, the movie really got to him.
Katie: Suri, where did Daddy go after the movie?
Suri: To the gym.
Katie: To the gym?
Suri: Yeah. The White Swallow Spa. (Katie screams) Yep. He went in there and wrestled with all kinds of guys. He wasn’t too good, though. This one black guy had him pinned down for fifteen minutes straight!
p911gt10c | June 19, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Remember when Katie Holmes used to be hot?
Tom Cruise | June 19, 2007 at 4:04 pm
#13 Your right about Jackie Chan! But is was on Oprah! My sweet, sweet Oprah!
Bern | June 19, 2007 at 4:04 pm
And another hopeless child enters the world, impervious to the impending brainwash to come …
I hate people.
BANGBANG | June 19, 2007 at 4:07 pm
I’m really shocked. Considering Tom Cruise either spurts blanks or little pieces of Playstation 2.
Jimbo | June 19, 2007 at 4:08 pm
OK, I am so fucking happy that we can all agree that Katie looks great and baby Suri is adorable blah blah blah. I think this is a first for this site. Can we all get past this ass kissing? We all know there is no way Tom had sex with Katie and got her pregnant. He has more of a chance getting Nicole Richie pregnant. At least she kind of looks like a 12 year old alter boy
BANGBANG | June 19, 2007 at 4:08 pm
oh and ‘wedgeone’ or whatever your name is. How cheap can you get? That’s from Southpark.
Tom Cruise | June 19, 2007 at 4:12 pm
*it. Sorry thinking about the cock, again!
jrzmommy | June 19, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Jesus..is she like 50 or some shit? When did she turn into such a granny?
Jimbo | June 19, 2007 at 4:14 pm
@23 I am shock that you would plagiarize such a fine upstanding show like South Park. You need to take a lesson from Big bang and come up with your own witty shit like him or maybe her, I am not sure what it is
Reality Check | June 19, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Hey I “Katie” Better have another baby fast because your hubby is Viagra old!
Then in a couple years you can get yourself a nice pool boy
LOL
wedgeone | June 19, 2007 at 4:16 pm
littleBANG, it was an intentional reference, you fuckin moron.
teeteetdot | June 19, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Nice freakin belt bucket.
Jimbo | June 19, 2007 at 4:25 pm
@35 Do you mean buckle? I have never seen a freakin belt bucket dump shit
Divorce Tom | June 19, 2007 at 4:28 pm
#17
… an idiotic, possessive, controlling, illiterate, flaming gay husband…
How could she let him fuck her? Even many 60 year old women would go “Eww…”
Miserable Bastard | June 19, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Katie’s pregnancy is obviously a gift from L. Ron Hubbard. Now that Tom has reached the highest level of “$$clear$$”, L. Ron’s omnipotent spirit has rewarded them with another child. And to preclude any jealousy, he gave John Travolta a year’s supply of jet fuel.
HankTheDwarf | June 19, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Cute? If you mean lazy-eyed troll with an extra chromosome cute, then yes.
Chris | June 19, 2007 at 4:53 pm
I guess you guys don’t read: “She was spotted with Tom in Madrid, trying to hide her bump….” That is probably why she’s wearing that bathing suit.
Boba Fett | June 19, 2007 at 4:58 pm
There are always two…….a master, and an apprentice.
hollyj | June 19, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Step 1
Tom jacks it to “Playgirl-Short-Man Issue” into a cup
Step 2
Doc pours cup into turkey baster
Step 3
Doc splooges baster contents into Katie
Step 4
Katie conceives second child by Tom Cruise
StoneRose | June 19, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Take note of the ‘mother’ hair cut – Tom probably made her cut her long hair to other men that she’s off the market and in the business of producing *his* children.
Sad but true.
On the other hand, Angelina Jolie has not gone the ‘mother’ hair cut way and looks all the more vampirish for it, lol.
On the other other hand, Britney went to the extreme with her ‘mother’, ‘don’t look at me’ buzz-cut fiasco.
In days before Monty Python witch drowning spoofs, it was said that witches were made to cut their hair as it was believed to hold immeasurable powers. A little feminist history there for ya.
Master_Shake | June 19, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Nice haircut. I hope she has time to drive me to soccer practice before picking up some Lunchables and Juicy Juice at the the supermarket.
Donkey | June 19, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Is that Jackie Kennedy?
Ren | June 19, 2007 at 5:13 pm
I love Juicy Juice.
Rachael | June 19, 2007 at 5:21 pm
God i hate her new haircut – it honestly makes her look about 20 years older. She used to look so sweet and innocent now she looks like a presidents wife.
Does she ever take her sunglasses off. I saw a pic the other day of her, Tom and Victoria Beckham at a game and they were the only ones with sunnies on – it was also night time – WTF?
Snatch | June 19, 2007 at 5:22 pm
She looks like Dorothy Hammill.
Alayney | June 19, 2007 at 5:25 pm
#s 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 13 (that’s as far as I got), you guys are on a roll! Hilarious! That baby REALLY DOES look Asian! I can’t get over that! I can’t decide if I think she’s cute or not but she does look like a porcelain doll.
Dirty Disher | June 19, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Awww, matching hair cuts. That suit is hot.