Katie Holmes is paranoid, cheap

April 17th, 2007 // 77 Comments

Katie Holmes called the cops last Thursday after she spotted a pair of photographers on her way to Target and got spooked. The cops escorted her inside and trailed her as she browsed for clothes for herself and Suri.

I don’t know what’s more bizarre, that she got local cops to escort her shopping, or that she shops for clothes at Target. Or that she wears stilts when she goes out for coffee. Seriously, what the hell is going on here? It’s like her life went from being circus-like to literally becoming a circus. She probably goes home to a giant orange tent where she and Tom Cruise practice trapeze acts.



  1. Navdoug

    I’m a little bit frightened by her leg-to-torso ratio. I’ve seen charicatures with less exagerated proportions. Is that what happens to your body when the alien engrams are sucked out?

  2. greeneyedcat

    I was gonna say the photographers were at Target waiting for Britney, but if it’s in Louisiana, I have no idea…. maybe she just wanted the attention from the cops. Lonely.

  3. Jess

    She looks like Michael Jackson.

  4. She shops there because Target has a satellite dish on the roof that scrambles Tom’s signals and renders him powerless. She was worried his henchmen would find her before she could run out the back. Too late.

  5. Katie! You’re not relevant anymore! You’re shopping at target and you’re married to a Scientologist!

    Is there a Scientology survivors group hotline?

  6. crazyotto

    may L.Ron be with her and watch over her……

  7. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehee, just wanted to stir the pot:P

    Yeah her torso & bottom are out of proportion but that can be fixed with a proper fitting jacket. It would be less of a crime to just wear sweats. Damn, these idiots really can’t survive without a stylist.

  8. This bitch must really had some good coke, she looks like Olive Oil from Popeye! Girl, did you sell your soul to the Scientology Devil all in the name of millions? That money stays here when you O D from that Coke…

  9. farty mcshitface

    #11 i couldn’t agree more. truer words have never been spoken on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. What’s with celebs shopping at bum stores, you got millions, leave the bargains to me and the other poor people.

  11. XeoRad

    Here’s the problem as I see it.
    Police are supposed to be fighting crime and keeping our streets safe, not escorting privileged, super-rich bratty celebs that participate in freaky, paranoid religions.


  12. XeoRad

    And one more thing – what the fuck is it with Starbucks and celebs? They’re like, the McDonalds of coffee. Their beans suck, overroasted (to save longer), the mochas suck and they have stale pastries. But everyone goes there – cause it’s easy

  13. How many more fake babies will she have? I really think Katie is Tom’s sister,,they look like twins, not sure where that baby came from..space…?

  14. Aura


  15. frenchie


  16. aussiechic

    explain this to me…
    those of u who are happy to bitch and dog her must be really bored and pathetic to admit you are intrigued by her, after all, your reading about her trip to TARGET!!! and ur telling us she’s pathetic.(no# 6)

  17. She is a fake bitch just like Cruise. The last thing we need in this country is more assholes lying to us and pretending to be something that they are not..Funny how he had to pay her millions to get her to marry him, since he’s gay. What a doofass,who would do that for money. Katie, you made yourself look so stupid.

  18. woodhorse

    those incredibly fugly pants (that don’t fit her – she missed by a 3″ shin implant)are why I never dated a Sailor. Nobody else wears those pants because they are just too ugly and unflattering. I am thinking that Posh is steering her wrong because she doesn’t want Katie stealing her limelight and is already jealous because Tom has more money than Beckham

  19. Hope they enjoy the money they have, coz America thinks both of them are a cruel stupid joke…and I don’t see them making any more money in this country..maybe they should go abroad..like Michael Jackson did..those assholes like anyone.

  20. Target is trying to be the new H&M Proenza Schouler just did a line their.

    Furthermore she has her own money.

    HOw is shallow or spoiled an insult. Ye your stupid cause you dont waste your money on other people. WHy feel bad for people who are living out of their means.

    Would you feel bad for someone of Real Housewives of Orange county fame who on that avg salary og 226,000 lives in a avg 2.6 million dollar house with avg 3 $40,000 cars.

    Know so why feel bad for people who even though birth control has been around for 3000+ years . I was reading a newwspaper interviewing missionary workers and their subjects one of them got married at 15 and was 17 crying she could not have a child even though it would of been poor. They want the freedom to reproduce have the freedom to starve by your damn selff like madonnas adopted baby dad getting married and getting her pregnant.

  21. MelodyD

    This woman is living a very sad life! All the dough in the world and yet she buys clothes for baby and herself at Target .. and it seems her fridge might be empty too.

  22. FruitySkittles

    What does “WTC?” mean?


  24. bobby

    yeah we dont like any of this nosense!!
    so please get this off!!
    P;EASE nad thank you!
    bobby boob

  25. bobby

    yeah we dont like any of this nosense!!
    so please get this off!!
    P;EASE nad thank you!
    bobby boob

  26. bobby

    yeah we dont like any of this nosense!!
    so please get this off!!
    P;EASE nad thank you!
    bobby boob

  27. Lizzy

    This is just a SCAM so she is liked more with the public, and so people can ‘relate’ to her.
    I actually like her, but she does not need to shop at ‘Target’ and she knows that.

    She called to police to cause a scene, so it would get in the paper that she shops there etc etc etc.

    Just for the record I personally think that her and Tom are the real deal. But thats my opinion.

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