Katie Holmes is paranoid, cheap

April 17th, 2007 // 77 Comments

Katie Holmes called the cops last Thursday after she spotted a pair of photographers on her way to Target and got spooked. The cops escorted her inside and trailed her as she browsed for clothes for herself and Suri.

I don’t know what’s more bizarre, that she got local cops to escort her shopping, or that she shops for clothes at Target. Or that she wears stilts when she goes out for coffee. Seriously, what the hell is going on here? It’s like her life went from being circus-like to literally becoming a circus. She probably goes home to a giant orange tent where she and Tom Cruise practice trapeze acts.



  1. rrd

    oh my gosh. first?

  2. DecorativePoncho

    “where are my feet?”

  3. Ruby

    FRIST!!! shit! i meant FROST!!!

  4. rrd

    ok. now that I got over that, I am fraid she has become Tom’s true equal. Or is he denyng her access to the bodyguards…forcing her to use local law?

  5. WTF?!?!?

    Why would local police resources be used to let this skank go shopping?! If she doesn’t want people to bother her, either pay for a bodyguard, shop online, or suck it up and deal with the public you idiot.

  6. Jimbo

    She is another one of the dumb Hollywood shits that deserves what she gets.

  7. Hemlock Queen

    Fish read my mind, or many others. Cuz my first thought was also giant clown on stilts.

    Dump Cruise and let the people rejoice!

  8. allyoops!

    what’s funny about this story is that no one would have thought to stake out the local target to get shots of any celebs, but thanks to her overreaction, now the paparazzi are going to be staking out all the target stores within 20 miles of Malibu.

    Next week we’ll see pics of Britney trying on hats and cheap jewelry at the Target south of Calabasas.

  9. Hemlock Queen

    Agreed Jimbo. The entitlement gene is rampant in these bitches.

  10. jst

    Why does she need police/bodyguard protection? Aren’t all Scientologists protected by their great god Xanadu or whatever?

  11. IFuckingHateYou


    I mean, I would be first if I had no fucking life.

    Can we let the FIRST comments die like Katie’s hopes that her husband is straight??


  12. Deez

    how DARE she shop Target. Tom you let her out of her kennel.. BAD TOM BAD!

  13. allyoops!

    ahhh, ok, I read the US story…she is in Shreveprt, LA…I’ve been there, Target is the nicest store in the area, so now we know why she was there at all…

  14. She looks ridiculous too.

  15. Fishstick

    peep. i want a police escort around target now, especially if my husband likes the cock….

  16. veggi

    It’s real nice. I got it at Target. It was on sale.

  17. WTF!!! She looks like a skeleton in baggy pants. This is really starting to piss me off! Everbody’s turning skeletal, how am I supposed to feel good about myself when I have all this flesh on me…

    For lunch I’m going to Hastings to buy a book on how to become bulimic, wait no…anorexic, yeah, less vomiting that way…

  18. Jimbo

    FRIST no it is WTC!!! and you don’t need to lose any weight.

  19. sleepingdog

    This dark haired girl reminds me of another Pretty dark haired girl that was taken away by a group of evil cult members that hid away from the light.Then a Nasty Rodent took over her mind and kept her a slave. Pretty soon she wanted to go back- back home to the one that wanted her back.But it was too late.

  20. FRIST!!!

    Oh, I can’t believe I forgot WTC!!!
    Thank you, but look at the skeletons. I have to be a skeleton or nobody will like me :(

    #3- good job on the frost ;)

  21. whitegold

    You just know Katie’s been dying for an opportunity to bust out her stilts! TC never lets her wear them when he’s around, and she is so barely allowed to roam free. But just look at that happy look on her face…now there’s a girl enjoying life in stilts and temporarily free of the iron grasp that is TC.

  22. D'arcy

    Please, no circuses. I’m scared of clowns.

  23. whitegold

    Does Scientology mandates that Cruise takes it up the ass from Travolta? Or is that just recreational time for them?

    I hate it when people use religion as an excuse to explain their behaviour! Bastards!

  24. Blog Lurker Guy Man Dude

    Katie Holmes is a retard. She’s pulling policemen off the streets just to escort her shopping? Thats the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Thats what her body guards are supposed to be doing. Those cops should out on the streets eating doughnuts like we pay them to do!!! What a waste of our hard earned tax dollars!!!

  25. Truthseeker013

    How do you think the filthy rich *stay* filthy rich? Because they’re cheap bastiches. I’ve gone past a dollar store where I live and seen nothing but Lincoln Town Cars (late model) and Range Rovers in the parking lot. And all of the licence plates are from neighboring wealthy counties.

  26. Ruby

    lol FRIST!!! I remembered whatcha said way back when.

    @ 11 Were you always the last one picked in gym class? aawwww. You can be FIRST if ya want. This once.

  27. Ruby

    Katie is saying: “Yes, for christsakes! I paid almost four fucking bucks for this coffee!!”

  28. Jimbo

    Is that a Starbucks cup of coffee or she carrying Tom inside it? That little pussy has to bose around women and scare them into submission to make himself feel good. I hope L. Ron Hubbard beam the little homo up to the mother ship

  29. Sheva

    Holy Shite, she looks like a reject from New England who hasn’t had a meal in a month.

    Nice implants though. And by implants I mean the shin extenders she had to make herself a foot and a half taller.
    Now she has a real shot to make the WNBA. Or maybe not.

    First I thought she had no ass. I was wrong. She has no body at all. It’s a modeling sack to hand clothes on.

  30. mykaelie

    She dresses like she is 50.

  31. rrd

    Eff you, “I hate you”. you must be a miserable person. I’m at work, have a fine life, and happened on the site when there were “0′ comments. Lighten up and fuck off.

  32. chaunceygardner

    I think Major Tom has been stretching her frame on some fucked-up Scientologist rack every time she says something vaguely human.

  33. ph7

    Another mom with a deathgrip on a Starbucks cop. Don’t see that but 100 times a day.

  34. chaunceygardner

    By the way – didn’t she show off some wicked titties in THE GIFT? What hapenned to those? Were they discovered to be large deposits of body thetans and summarily expelled, or did Major Tom have them lopped off simply to make her more manly?

  35. Maskatron

    Tom’s hiding in one of those pant legs.

  36. FRIST!!!

    #27 LOL suh-weeeet

    Ok just got back from lunch anything new happen?

    #36 You got that right!!!

  37. lambman

    Target Rules! Why wouldn’t you shop there? lots of celebs shop there, and even Vogue did a story on the fashion designers doing lines for them.

  38. woodhorse

    She has to shop at Target since laughing at Tom not being able to get his car started.

    #26 is “bastiches” the new “biatchos”? If so, I approve, easier to pronounce.

  39. woodhorse

    AND biatcho is vaguely hispanic and I like hispanics…..

  40. Nothing wrong with a little circus freak love.

  41. HughJorganthethird

    Katies awesome, I loved her in that Grace Jones video.


  42. IFuckingHateYou

    #27 & 32 – I too am at work, what other reason is there to visit this site, but to kill time.

    I have no problem with you being the 1st poster, just say something instead of screaming first like a fucking retard at the bus stop.
    Be first, be happy, just say something mean or funny.

    Now go fuck yourselves.

  43. boredatwurk

    Wait a second…wasn’t there a post about Tom trying to curb her spending?

    I just hope he cuts down even more so I can hear about her going into Walmart.

  44. kamihi

    This dumb bitch is turning into her new best friend Victoria Beckham and will be the size of her & my 7 year old soon, its sick she looks way too thin.

  45. Lowlands

    Engines can run out of fuel and then they need to get refilled at starbucks…After this fresh cup of coffee Katie can go on for miles again being the engine of Tom’s car.

  46. Lowlands

    Maybe a double espresso does make her run faster.

  47. iamsosmrt

    ewwwwww… I have always maintained that overly tall girls look like freaks when they are too skinny, football players when they are fat and trannies when they are normal sized (especially when they are all dolled up trying to look all sexy).
    Girls and women should be DAINTY. I am more and more convinced that the days of Shakespear and the rule of only allowing men in theatre never actually changed because Katie, Paris, Jessica, Travolta and Britney all look like men trying to be convincing Women.

    Stiop trying freaks, it aint working.

    Katie is a spoiled greedy rich bitch like every out of touch insane celeb so this shit does not surprise me, wether it’s true or not it is something she would do. When will the public finally really turn on these selfish self important assholes. ALL celebrities are like this.

    Hollywood truely is the sickest filthiest place on earth.

  48. td

    I like getting t-shirts at tarjay sometimes.

  49. Depraved22

    What a freak! She looks like she’s in a circus act with those clothes.

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