Katie Holmes is now Kate “Femme Oedipus” Cruise

Kate_Cruise.jpgIn Touch reports that Katie Holmes plans to adopt her soon-to-be-husband’s last name and become Kate Cruise both personally and professionally. And no, that’s not a typo; she will in fact also go by Kate, and not Katie. Why? Because, as a source tells the magazine, “Tom calls her Kate, so he suggested she start going by that professionally.”

As if the 16-year age gap wasn’t creepy enough, I would like to remind you all that Cruise has effectively named his fiance Kate Cruise. He has named her. Gave her his last name, then went, “Aaaand everybody’s going to call you Kate from now on because I like it and Xenu wished that it be so.”

Hmm. Maybe this will lead to some sort of gender-inverted Oedipus situation, in which case I am all for it. Any move that ends in Tom Cruise hanging himself and Katie Holmes gouging her eyes out with his decorative pins is a step in the right direction, as far as I’m concerned. But hey, I’m a romantic.