Katie Holmes is lucky to be alive

November 25th, 2009 // 46 Comments

Clearly on a suicide mission to free herself of tiny shackles forever, Katie Holmes went to see New Moon over the weekend and basically threw herself to the lions. FOX 411 reports:

“Katie talked through all of ‘New Moon.’ It was unbelievable – they talked nonstop about the movie and everything else. Some people wanted to tell them to be quiet, but when they realized who it was, they stayed silent. No one wanted to shush Katie.”

Wow, Twi-hards are dumb because I’m pretty sure it’s incredibly easy to shush Katie Holmes. All you gotta do is inhale a bunch of helium then say something like, “Katie, why are there so many Thetans in this room?” Or “Katie, I thought I told you to wear metal underwear on that thing.” She’ll clam right up.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Richard McBeef

    TCLTC

    ALL HAIL XENU

  2. Taz

    I would have smacked her in the face like in The Gift. Topless Katie MMMMMMMM

  3. dAZEDnaMZUDED

    Looking mighty sexy in that jacket. RAWR

  4. David Miscavige

    This story is bullshit. What the fuck, is KH some sort of royalty now because she is in a sham marriage with some upper level cult member? Somebody would have told her to shut the fuck up.

    TCLTC

    LRHLTC

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  5. Greg's Grandma

    I will shit into the mouths of all those who believe in the space opera.

  6. thats a hot anti-thetan coat that shes sportin

  7. From Finland

    My gods, basic/average americans are retards!
    I would’ve told her to STFU in under a minute of blabbing.

    I truly hope this is a joke.

  8. Parker

    I would like to squirt a big load of thetans in her butt.

    Katie, call me!

  9. pdxfacehole

    Who gives a shit who she is. I would’ve told her to suck it and shut it. In a nice way of course.

  10. pdxfacehole

    10th!! LOOSERS!! ha.

  11. hpeszti

    Whatever.It’s not like she talked during The Green mile. or Fight Club, or Psycho.or ANY FILM THAT I ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT…right where was I? It’s funny how people are ignorant enough to believe in scientology. I do,however feel bad for this chick. She used to be normal, now she looks like burton’s ghost bride…It’s all the midget’s fault, I hope Xenu takes him away to a volcano and kills him with a hydrogene bomb…(see:origin of scientology)

  12. Cash

    They were afraid to tell her to shut the fuck up because of who she was? She’s a fucking ass goblin, tell her to shut her hole or you’ll dump your over priced carton of popcorn on her fucking ass goblin head. Like Katie fucking holmes is anyone that deserves that kind of hesitation.

  13. Cash

    They were afraid to tell her to shut the fuck up because of who she was? She’s a fucking ass goblin, tell her to shut her hole or you’ll dump your over priced carton of popcorn on her fucking ass goblin head. Like Katie fucking holmes is anyone that deserves that kind of hesitation.

  14. KG

    I am sure she wasn’t watching the movie in a crowded theater in Podunk. She was probably at an insider’s screening, where different rules apply. You might suck up to Katie because you don’t want to deal with Tom, for example.

  15. Megan

    If this was at a movie I actually gave a shit about, I’d have told her to shut the hell out and called her a Xenu fucker. Then I’d time how long it took Tom Cruise in a loincloth to jump out from the concessions stand and plant a blow dart in my fucking neck.

  16. pdxfacehole

    Ya you’re right #14. Tom probably would’ve jumped up on the seats and started beating his chest like the little man he is.

  17. Carolyn

    What did people think would happen if they told her to be quiet? What a bunch of pussies.

  18. OTP

    This is the stupidest story on The Superficial in a long time.

    Come on you dumb fucks.

  19. pdxfacehole

    Tom is a little worm.

  20. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    That selfish bitch.

  21. leid-girl

    oh PLEASE people. Katie Holmes?

    Obviously she doesn’t have enough class and manners as she THINKS she possessed to stay quiet during a movie then FUCK HER! She’s rude and we all wear our pants the same fucking way. She is no different and no better.

    Really, why would ANYONE be intimated by her? Because she is married to some weirdo, controlling, scientology obsessed freako like Tom Cruise?
    Again, please.

    If you GIVE these people unnecessary power, they have the right to use it.

  22. RebelMinion

    I know who Katie Holmes is.

    She looks very pissed off. But then, she has to go home to Tom… so there’s that.

  23. dazednamused

    The group of people in the movie theatre probley realized she has to wear a muzzle while at home. I would have let her talked during the whole movie too. As her voice is sure to make my thetan levels rise! OH! Talk more, no one has heard you in so long. Toms all the way at the consession stand… say more. oooh ooooooooh XENU!

  24. She has clearly been brainwashed.

  25. Ida

    What a moron. Clearly people are there to watch a movie. How inconsiderate of her to talk through it.

    Although, the movie is not a good one, she should still have to decency to be quiet during the movie. People are there to watch, not to listen to her talk about her fucked up marriage with psycho troll.

  26. I think she will leave him eventually. Either that or something tragic will happen. I believe that while we have no idea what the truth is, she is significantly less perky and looks so gaunt since they were married. It’s sad.

  27. Bob

    This is inexcusable behavior from an actor or anyone involved in that business. You might as well go down the line and spit in the face of anyone that had anything to do with the production of the movie whether you think it’s crap or not. It’s just plain rude by anyone but much more so from people involved in the business.

  28. Pong

    Maybe she is meeting some anomymous folks there, u never know, she might be desintegrating the cult hard candy style fro the inside. Give her some credit, i mean, in a few years she will be reaping the gains of the marriage, like Nicole and Penelope dis.

  29. myl

    so this bitch can stay quiet while birthing an alien baby, but can’t shut it for two hours during a crap movie? lame.

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  31. Unexcusible behavior for Twilight fans. I’d take the bitch down. Just plain rude!

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  33. Well, if the alien voice said those things, she’d probably respond. She would have shut up if one of the moviegoers said that Tom is searching for her.

    -meream

  34. she is so …. .i love her

  35. Jon

    I think that it is amazing how she can look so good at times and at others not.
    >DishlerLaserInstitute

  36. Rhialto

    Is she wearing ballet shoes?!

  37. Darth

    She’s only about 5’8″,size leprechaun to north european standards.A bit heel wouldn’t harm her at all.

  38. Boogeyman King Dong

    Since when do these bimbos have tea hour at the movie theater?!

  39. I feel bad for her.

  40. EricLR

    Actually, she doesn’t put her pants on like the rest of us. She gets her hourly injection of brain-numbing sedatives, passes out briefly, and wakes up with her pants on and a publicist telling her it’s time for her daily “pretend to be married” walk.

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  42. Hi guy’s,
    it’s funny how people are ignorant enough to believe in scientology. I do,however feel bad for this chick. She used to be normal, now she looks like burton’s ghost bride…It’s all the midget’s fault, I hope Xenu takes him away to a volcano and kills him with a hydrogene bomb.

  43. its great that she is still rockin’ the bod but it is just too damn old and dusty, put it away Pam

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