Katie Holmes is lucky to be alive

Clearly on a suicide mission to free herself of tiny shackles forever, Katie Holmes went to see New Moon over the weekend and basically threw herself to the lions. FOX 411 reports:

“Katie talked through all of ‘New Moon.’ It was unbelievable – they talked nonstop about the movie and everything else. Some people wanted to tell them to be quiet, but when they realized who it was, they stayed silent. No one wanted to shush Katie.”

Wow, Twi-hards are dumb because I’m pretty sure it’s incredibly easy to shush Katie Holmes. All you gotta do is inhale a bunch of helium then say something like, “Katie, why are there so many Thetans in this room?” Or “Katie, I thought I told you to wear metal underwear on that thing.” She’ll clam right up.

Photos: Splash News