Katie Holmes gets a pacifier

Superficial / April 7, 2006

cruise-holmes-pacifier.jpgIn the most made up story of the year, Star reports that Tom Cruise has commissioned an adult-sized pacifier for Katie Holmes to suck on while she gives birth. A source says:

“He commissioned an adult-sized ‘binky’ for Katie to clench between her teeth, hoping that it’ll squelch her screams. In keeping with a Scientology silent birth, Tom is prepared to do whatever it takes to muffle Katie’s moans and groans during the delivery.”

The sad thing is, Tom Cruise is so out of his mind that all the crazy things tabloids make up about him are actually believable. They could print a story tomorrow that says “Tom Cruise eats deaf people to save hearing!” and people would just assume it was a weird Scientology ritual. Which, ironically, it is. Yeah, I said it. Scientologists eat deaf people.