Katie Holmes’ face is, uh, I don’t even know

April 13th, 2007 // 58 Comments

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were eating at Mastro’s restaurant in Beverly Hills, but when they tried to leave they couldn’t get their vintage car to start in front of all the photographers. Although that doesn’t really explain the look on Katie Holmes’ face. I don’t even know what that look is. It’s not embarrassment or humiliation, it’s “I’m transforming into a scarecrow!”



  1. Danner

    Get rid of the couch jumper already.

  2. murmurzz

    Tee hee!

  3. Danner

    Oh, the look on her face is an attempt not to laugh at her crazy husband.

  4. OMG – rich people have car trouble? Get the fuck outta here!

  5. PatreeseD

    Raunchy jiz?

  6. Rollin VIP! What?

  7. Bodylotion

    I think Katie was excited at Tom’s invitation to let her join Scientology. Then again, perhaps it was terror instead of excitement.

  8. iburl

    Thats what you get for driving a …. wth is that? It looks like a 50′s version of a 90′s car. Does it transform into a submarine so that Tomkat can enter the Scientologist’s underwater bubble domed city?

  9. cinnarose

    She looks like a characterture of Mortisha Adams in that shot.

  10. She’s worried he’ll have the same trouble starting the spaceship for their trip to planet Nutjob.

  11. XeoRad

    Can’t you all see? Tom is slowly sucking her soul out of her body. Finally – physical proof.

  12. XeoRad


  13. vinny221

    Tom’s face is steroidal. Is he allergic to shell fish? Katie clearly lost all her teeth and gums.

  14. diarrhea riot

    Katie got caught in mid-felch.

  15. sick. how could anyone find her attractive?

  16. Pitiful, just pitiful.

  17. it is the look of ‘oh my god, i married a homo’

  18. mmmBitch

    He’s still really hot. Why are the best looking people always the loopiest?
    Ava Gardner, Angelina Jolie, Morrison and Tom..

    tsk tsk..

  19. It looks like she’s trying to give birth out of her mouth.

  20. thewriteguy

    You think they have AAA?

  21. Niecy

    She was trying to think of a nice way to tell Tom that he wasn’t turning the key, he was turning the dial on the radio.

  22. Just go with “weird” and call it a gay.

  23. Wow Just Wow

    Tom finally made good on this threat and had her mouth and face sewn shut.

  24. Lord Xenu is in the engine. Run!!!

  25. FRIST!!!

    Of course she looks like that…Tom won’t let her eat!!!

  26. What’s the big deal? Her butthole is just puckered up.

    So what?

  27. Hemlock Queen

    Frist, he know’s how important it is to get that baby weight off fast. You know, because he knows ALL about the female body and what’s good for it.

  28. She’s scoffing at Tom’s taste in music!

  29. chaunceygardner

    It looks like Tom shot her in the mouth with a bunch of…uh…thetans.

  30. diarrhea riot

    @26- hilarious!!!

  31. whitegold

    She has to suck really really really hard to try and find TC’s dick and keep it from recoiling back inside itself. Now her face is just stuck like that. Like how your parents used to tell you not to cross your eyes or they’d get stuck like that. I bet she wishes she listened to her parents now!

  32. iamsosmrt

    Is that really a car because from that angle it looks more like a little Jetsons spacemobile and Katie looks all nervous like “gee I can’t wait to see Astro and I hope Judy Jetson will think my outfit is swell”.

    If it is a car then that car only runs on alien gas on the planet L-Ronasshead.

    It looks like Tavolta needs to swoop in on his giant gay aircraft and save them, well really he’d only save Tom because he doesn’t like “girls” or “women” or “things with boobs” or “vagina”… well you get the picture.

  33. iamsosmrt


  34. iamsosmrt

    That is Tom cruise right? Cause I only recognize him in his space suit or in his “I Heart Penis” t-shirt.

  35. Eyeballs

    That’s the look on her face when she’s trying to hold back laughing at the fact that he looks like a 5 year old behind that steering wheel. I think my 7 year old is taller then him.

  36. allykitten85

    Oh my God, I can’t stop laughing!!!

  37. LivewireT

    They look like they’re on an amusement park ride–either bumper cars or the “spaceship”–you know…the one that the lttle kids ride

  38. Grope For Luna

    Tom is pouring some bird seed into her bowl.

  39. Grope For Luna

    Look at you wearing those tight pants! That’s not right! You march right upstairs and put your big pants on!

  40. no1justminda

    hehehe that’s a funny face!

  41. no1justminda

    #26 and #38…HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

  42. andrewthezeppo

    Has anybody noticed that of stars about Katie’s age all the men are pretty normal and all the women are insane?

  43. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    I saw the other pics, it’s an old Vette and it is SWEET. Way too cool a machine for that girly bitch to be driving. LMAO #39, I <3 Kevin Meaney:)

  44. InstantAsshat-AddFame


  45. If I was either one of these ALIENS,, I would never go out in public again,, I would hide in my CASTLE until ready for the attack. These two have BIG BALLS.. to show their face after that scam they pulled on us..

  46. Thomas the Wrapper

    “PU, I just busted ass after that big meal. I need to go home and drop a mean steamer Tom”

  47. Lowlands

    Katie Holmes looks quite impressed by the enormous size of Tom Cruise’s..Steeringwheel.Looks like the newest trend at the moment is the bigger the steeringwheel the more impressed the girls are.Why is he having his mirror attached on the dasboard instead higher up?I’m off now to the nearest yachtharbour for a second hand steeringwheel for sailyachts.

  48. woodhorse

    #47 you’re like a genius or something. Buy a yacht one piece at a time! I never would have thought of that. Well, it doesn’t matter – my backyard isn’t big enough for the assembly.

    BTW – I bet that car is sitting in some car lot today. That’ll teach that bitch!!

  49. Lowlands

    Maybe it’s a Flintstone car and Katie holmes has to use her legs.

  50. Lowlands

    If Katie holmes wants to stick with Tom Cruise,she gotta move her legs faster.I can read that from Tom Cruise’s face.

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