Katie Holmes enrolled in ‘Scientology Boot Camp’

Apparently Katie Holmes’ recklessness (She spoke during dinner.) is getting out of hand, so Tom Cruise signed her up for an intense three-day session of Scientology Boot Camp. Star reports:

“It included various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes,” a Scientology insider reveals. “Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels.”
Katie’s intensive Scientology training and treatments have been accelerated in recent weeks, says another source, because she wanted to go to New York City without Tom to star in a Broadway play. But Tom stepped in and put the kibosh on her plans. And now Katie’s been going in for a series of intensive auditing sessions, some which have lasted for 36 hours straight — with little sleep or food.

Above you can see Katie utilizing the always-cleansing “Xenu scream.” It can only be ended by the insertion of a “Thetan rod.” However, when everyone looked to Tom Cruise to take action, he balked and replied “Eww! With a girl?! GROSS!” then jumped on the back of a bee and flew to safety.

Thanks to veggi who’s a drill sergeant at Camp Kickass.