Tom Cruise has signed Katie Holmes up to a company called Buff Brides to get her in shape in preparation for their wedding this year. A source tells the Daily Mirror:
“Katie can and will do it… She has great motivation. She loves her fiance and was proud that Tom oversaw this programme. He told her he wanted her to be the most beautiful bride ever. She was in tears when he said that.”
Buff Brides? He might as well have sent her to a place called Man Camp or The Sex Change Insitute of America. It doesn’t matter how much muscle Katie puts on, Tom needs to realize nothing will ever compare to that special night in the woods he first felt the soft caress of a steroid-pumped man in a thong.
ptprez | May 4, 2006 at 7:03 pm
1st
replicunt | May 4, 2006 at 7:04 pm
hahaha
happyjoyjoy | May 4, 2006 at 7:04 pm
idiot
MeganHarris | May 4, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Nice, I like! lol.
happyjoyjoy | May 4, 2006 at 7:05 pm
woohoo i just made an account 3 seconds ago
del14120 | May 4, 2006 at 7:06 pm
im personally surprised that tom is wasting money on this in the first place. i thought that the struggle of trying to escape heavy chains was a great way to get buff. well it worked for me anyway.
Derek Hail | May 4, 2006 at 7:06 pm
Tom Cruise is a real winner lately. This just shows how great he is.
This picture with the caption:
http://www.derekhail.com/2006/05/03/tom-cruise-arrives-at-the-late-show-with-david-letterman/
“Who wants to wrestle. Oh you do?”
makes me laugh every time.
Edna Dammit | May 4, 2006 at 7:07 pm
What a friggin ballsack!
TCLTC
Sheva | May 4, 2006 at 7:11 pm
Why would anyone announce this to the public?
Utterly crass.
Poor fuckin Katie. Now she has to show everyone the new her.
Disgusting.
bigfatmomma | May 4, 2006 at 7:12 pm
THIS is why i read the superficial. well done!
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 7:13 pm
Can he BE any more psychotically controlling and abso-effing-lutely CRAZY?????
Katie, the next sound you’ll hear is,
“It puts the lotion on its skin”. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Edna Bambrick | May 4, 2006 at 7:15 pm
I am reporting all disgusting posts!
Sparkylulu | May 4, 2006 at 7:17 pm
I would be in tears too if I suddenly realized that I made a deal with the devil for my soul and the soul of my child. Oh, yeah, and that the beauty and “glow” of motherhood is not nearly as important as looking my bestest for pictures of my wedding when they show up in the National Enquirer.
God, what a controlling freak.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 7:18 pm
Go to hell, Bamprick.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 7:19 pm
Faker.
LilJenny | May 4, 2006 at 7:19 pm
Her name is Kate, dammit, Kate!
-= ChebyratoR =- | May 4, 2006 at 7:20 pm
TCLTC! Twice…
ESQ | May 4, 2006 at 7:22 pm
Control freak!
Tom takes it in the ass and LOVES it. He told via webcam and I swear it is the truth.
ellamenno-p | May 4, 2006 at 7:25 pm
I thought he changed her name to Kate. rat bastid can’t even keep up with all his crazy edicts
Binky | May 4, 2006 at 7:25 pm
This reminds me of the time I joined a group called “Buff Floors”.
After a while, and after a run at Treasurer – I thought – “Buff Floors ? What the f ! ? This isn’t like the Masons or anything… So what ? buff floors…Like – blow me…
Or am I getting off topic again…ooopppps
Iambananas | May 4, 2006 at 7:26 pm
Thats cute… he knows that she worries about what she looks like… I think it’s cute. Might be a little insulting to Katie… but if you don’t like him, you’re not invited to the party.
-= ChebyratoR =- | May 4, 2006 at 7:28 pm
HEy Edna why dont you have any cool links? http://profiles.yahoo.com/ednabambrick put superficial down since you are on this site often enough
Ez-EEEE | May 4, 2006 at 7:28 pm
edna, choke on a fucking cock.
ebayfan414 | May 4, 2006 at 7:28 pm
What planet is “KATE” on? Can’t she piece the clues together? There are so many obvious signs that Tom love the cock, and she just doesn’t get it! I mean, why the hell does she think Tom makes her wear a strap-on every night and fuck him in the ass? Before you know it he’ll be hypnotizing her to get a beard transplant. And cut her boobs off. And install an adam’s apple. Geez!
radio4play | May 4, 2006 at 7:29 pm
Just for Tracie…FIRST!
TCLTC SERIOUSLY he loves it
Sheva | May 4, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Screw you Llamas and the lamda lamda lamda gay crew you rode in on.
This is not a support Tom Cruise site or haven’t you noticed?
Idyot!
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 7:30 pm
She was in tears when he told her BECAUSE HE WAS HOLDING A GUN TO HER HEAD.
Fa Cube Itches | May 4, 2006 at 7:30 pm
The sound clip is awesome:
“Ok class, it works like this. Cup his balls with your LEFT hand, and work the shaft towards your mouth with your RIGHT! Erm…or so I’ve heard.”
Unabashed Liar | May 4, 2006 at 7:31 pm
What the hell? I always thought sending your wife-to-be to fat-camp before the wedding would be consider insulting and demeaning, not something that would qualify you for husband of the year.
Maybe Mr. Cruise should write a book on the subject of relationships, since he is apparently so freakin’ gosu now. Or at least give the rest of us poor SOBs a few tips on brainwashing and mind control.
QuitEatingFatAss | May 4, 2006 at 7:31 pm
This is one thing I’ll agree with Tom – I wouldn’t want a cow as a bride either. Having a baby is no excuse for being fat.
Iambananas | May 4, 2006 at 7:31 pm
No one can be controlled unless they want to be… so he’s been married 3 times and all the sudden now he’s a control freak? That kind of thing does not sprout out of the ground… he’s a nice guy, thats all.
Iambananas | May 4, 2006 at 7:32 pm
#30, I would love to see a pic of you… wait…
http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20060503/t/ra3638003344.jpg
Edna Bambrick | May 4, 2006 at 7:33 pm
#22 This is not my favorite site. This site posts disgusting images of womens private areas and provides a forum for posters to post disgusting posts about them. The link you have posted is not my yahoo profile, http://profiles.yahoo.com/edna_bambrick is mine. There are several sinful people that pose as me on yahoo as well as this website.
#24 You are REPORTED!
ptprez | May 4, 2006 at 7:34 pm
@12…with my balls in your mouth…”immm mmmptng mmdimm pothhhh”
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 7:34 pm
Lambananas, I am SOOO glad that I won’t be going to that party you keep on mentioning IN EVERY SINGLE POST. BTW, you must be a masochist, you intentionally come on this site, post your ridiculous little pro-Tom rantings, when you know everyone on here (INCLUDING THE GUY WHO DOES THE ENTRIES) hates TOM “Loves to Cuddle the Cock” Cruise!!!!!!!
saltpeanuts | May 4, 2006 at 7:34 pm
Wow, Tom wants her to get buff? More proof that Tom loves the cock.
Maybe she’s just the host to some fat body thetans.
sweetcheeks | May 4, 2006 at 7:36 pm
There are thousands of Tom Cruise fan sites out there, Bananas. Well, maybe hundreds. Okay… like five or six. Find one and get the fuck off this thread.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 7:36 pm
If this site is so revolting to, Bamprick, please go away and never come back!
sweetcheeks | May 4, 2006 at 7:37 pm
Nothing makes you feel more secure than your husband changing your name and sending you to fat camp.
gogoboots | May 4, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Yeah, it must be really empowering for Kate to be sent to fat camp for just having a baby. I find nothing more insulting, I can’t help but feel sorry for the girl, she must wonder what the hell is going on with him. It must have been tears in her eyes for being seen as a heiffer or something!
ptprez | May 4, 2006 at 7:43 pm
edna think about it…the lord looks at you and laughs…there’s hunger, famine, drought, death, and the superficial…really, on the pecking list God has more to do…sit down, watch reruns of seventh heaven and shut the fuck up…
CruisingForCock | May 4, 2006 at 7:43 pm
21 Honey, you are bananas. We’re not invited because there isn’t a party. I told you that you have to take your medication every single day.
Edna Bambrick | May 4, 2006 at 7:44 pm
Do you enjoy being sinful? Have you not been saved? I will clean up the internet and rid it of terrorists.
Zanna | May 4, 2006 at 7:45 pm
SWEET BABY JESUS lambananas you are one annoying motherfucker!
Tom announces her name is Kate and she’s going to get buff in one week. Soon the announcement will be her name is Bob and she’s having a “strap-a-cictomy” to compliment that new buff-bod.
Shit!! American Haunting ad scares my nipples hard every time I accidently mouse over it.
CruisingForCock | May 4, 2006 at 7:45 pm
I think Katie has 40 million reasons to go to fat camp.
Zanna | May 4, 2006 at 7:46 pm
@43 – Edna…YES, I enjoy being sinful. It pays very VERY well!
MasterofMuppets | May 4, 2006 at 7:46 pm
When is Tom changing her name to Ken?
Pikachelsea | May 4, 2006 at 7:52 pm
“I want Katie to not be a total cow, I mean to the be the most beautiful bride ever! Geez, lose that baby fat already!… er, darling.”
And she acts like that’s supposed to be a compliment… lol. Figures… she’s already brainwashed anyways.
prideofchucky | May 4, 2006 at 7:55 pm
Good god! Next he’ll probably give her “Vitamin Shakes” chock full of estrogen blockers and Mega-Mass 3000! Run Katie Run! This is ur future!
http://www.frsa.com/pixfemuscle/LauraCreavalle.jpg
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Well, I guess I can understand a man not wanting to have a total whale for a wife. I mean, that’s why Edna’s husband divorced her, right?
Still, I don’t think Tom will be happy until “Kate” can benchpress a Volkswagon.