Katie Holmes buffs up

kholmes-buff-brides.jpgTom Cruise has signed Katie Holmes up to a company called Buff Brides to get her in shape in preparation for their wedding this year. A source tells the Daily Mirror:

“Katie can and will do it… She has great motivation. She loves her fiance and was proud that Tom oversaw this programme. He told her he wanted her to be the most beautiful bride ever. She was in tears when he said that.”

Buff Brides? He might as well have sent her to a place called Man Camp or The Sex Change Insitute of America. It doesn’t matter how much muscle Katie puts on, Tom needs to realize nothing will ever compare to that special night in the woods he first felt the soft caress of a steroid-pumped man in a thong.