Katie Salmon Advertising a Spa for Strippers or Something

Here we have Katie Salmon playing with her boobs in an attempt at getting dudes to come drink cucumber water at this Liverpool spa. I don’t live in the U.K. or know anything about Prince Harry and Meagan Markle, so I’m going to assume that this is now the standard for advertising over there. Hell, maybe it’s a spa for off-duty strippers who just really enjoy a good deep tish massage.

Like what I did there? “Deep tish?” It’s what industry pros in the know are calling deep tissue massage these days. I’ve been romancing the idea of opening up my own spa in Chicago called Tish n Dish. It will be the only place in Chi-town you can get a deep tissue massage and a deep dish pizza in the same place. The massage therapists on staff will also double down as doughboys so you know that crust is going to be at least six fire emojis.

Fun fact about Katie Salmon though, she has been banned from all events by the British Horse Racing Authority after pulling her tits out at¬†Cheltenham racecourse. Another fun fact… if I ever get Tish n Dish off the ground (I’ve got a few angel investors meeting me at Baskin Robins after work), Katie Salmon will be the first person I call to be my spokesperson.