Katie Holmes Is Scientology’s 9/11

July 6th, 2012 // 72 Comments
The TomKat Divorce
Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Divorce
Our Expert Coverage. Or Just Dick Jokes. Read More »

It’s been a week since Katie Holmes finally made her meticulously-planned escape from Tom Cruise, and in the aftermath has come a wave of information about Scientology which church officials are already working to downplay (If not erase altogether by complaining to Google) by claiming Katie just absolutely loved the gospel of L. Ron. She couldn’t get enough of it. TMZ reports:

As one well-connected Tom source put it, “She [Katie] was totally committed to Scientology. She had enthusiasm for it and would voluntarily and gladly participate in it when Tom was off shooting movies.”
The source adds, “This is not a fight over religion. It’s being used as a way to hurt Tom.”

“She loved it so much, she was numb to the point of being unable to convey simple human emotions. Sometimes Tom had to yank her around from the arm that’s how numb with joy she was.” As for the hurting Tom business, what a strange thing for Tom’s people to say to the media while they simultaneously complain about Katie playing the media. Via BBC News:

“We are letting ‘the other side’ (Katie and her team), play the media until they wear everyone out and then we’ll have something to say.
“It’s not Tom’s style to do this publicly. He is really sad about what’s happening.”

Yes, Tom Cruise is very cool and wouldn’t at all think about playing the media. Did you write all that down, media? In the meantime, below is a bunch of shit about Scientology that’s spilled out in just the past 24 hours for your reading pleasure, and if you’re not reading Lainey Gossip’s coverage, you’re going to want to check that out. Her latest is about Tom Cruise possibly employing psychological warfare by not filing a legal response yet and how Katie’s dad masterminded all this. So God willing this ends with the two of them having a lightsaber battle on top of a building while Katie gets all hot like she was in The Gift again and does nudity to get her career back. That’ll be best for everyone.

– Tom Cruise micro-managed her roles in Thank You For Smoking and Batman Begins to the point that Morgan Freeman was disgusted and that guy had sex with his step-granddaughter. [TMZ]

- No one’s seen or heard from Scientology leader David Miscaviage’s wife in five years after she allegedly filled out job applications without his consent. NBD. [Us Magazine]

- Shortly after Tom Cruise divorced her for having a miscarriage, scientologists told Isabella and Connor Cruise that Nicole Kidman was a “psychopath.” In their defense, she couldn’t move her face which probably didn’t help. Kids scare easily. [The Hollywood Reporter]

- Scientology president Heber Jentzsch’s son, Alexander, who hasn’t been seen in public since 2004, suddenly died of a fever on July 2, yet his own mother, who left the church, isn’t allowed to see the body. Similar to Jett Travolta, Alexander had a medical condition but allegedly wasn’t allowed to be treated by doctors unless in a dire emergency, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. [RadarOnline]

- Every time John Travolta gets a boner he tries to make male massage therapists touch it. Preferably with their colons. I’m not really sure what that has to do with any of this, it just seemed important to bring up. [The Superficial]

While all of this sounds crazy, keep in mind Scientology, like Christianity, wants to cure/eliminate homosexuality, (Paul Haggis left because the church refused to oppose Prop 8.) so it also just read like Fifty Shades of Grey to Brad Pitt‘s mom. You’re gonna want to stay out of her sewing room.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Christianity = Scientology = Mormonism = Islam = BUNCH OF FUCKING BULLSHIT.

    • Jesus H. "Tapdancing" Christ

      Yeah, Homo sapiens is a bit of a misnomer. Homo ignarus would be a more accurate description.

    • eatme

      hear, hear!!!

    • sparkymcgee, you had me at “FUCKING BULLSHIT”

    • cc

      ‘Christianity = Scientology = Mormonism = Islam’

      4 of the reasons I went from being an atheist to being an anti-theist. The 5th reason was the steady stream of stories about child abuse committed by priests which were systematically covered up by the church. The 6th reason was that every damned sex offender out there seems to be a steady church goer, just like like good ol’ Sandusky. The 7th reason was that I have something on top of my brainstem…a brain.

      • eatme

        …theism is not the same thing as religion. To become anti-theist because of the actions of men who belong to a particular religion is illogical. So, ummmm, yeah, about your last statement…

      • Evolved

        Do me a favor. Google anti theist. It has several definitions, but has come to be generally accepted as a term that describes the belief that organized religions are harmful and destructive. So umm yea…about your snarky misinformed remark….

      • cc

        ‘a term that describes the belief that organized religions are harmful and destructive’

        I don’t know how my post could make my feelings about religion being harmful could be much clearer, could it?

      • eatme

        Let’s consider this with just a logic…
        I do believe that you will agree that one can believe in “god”, or a creator(s), etc. , and not subscribe to any particular religion. This belief is theism, pure and simple. To believe that god of the Christian faith is THE god, well, that is Christianity, my friend. So If one doesn’t believe in “god” (but doesn’t necessarily believe that there is no “god:, they are, by virtue of not being theist, atheist. “Anti-theist” further distinguishes the undecided/agnostic from the true non-believers.
        But, considering the post that I responded to (which was removed, I can only believe, because of how ridiculous it was) stated that the poster had become anti-theist because of several happening in Catholic church. By that interpretation, and yours, every Muslim in the world is anti-theist. You do not see the problem? No, the poster is anti-Catholic-Church, possibly anti-Christian, but anti-theist?
        And so you you think that the scores of people who believe in a higher power but who also believe that the Catholic Church and it’s practices (or any other organized religion) are bloated exercises in bureaucracy and people control is indeed harmful (although, quite possibly recognizes many good things that come of it as well) is an anti-theist? Seriously, you don’t see the paradox?
        I don’t now why i bother with stupid people…

      • suri

        @Eatme: I believe he was using the term anti-theist as blanket terminology to describe his disdain for all religions and their special set of drawbacks, to avoid long winded posts stating why he hates each and every one. Also you’re trolling.

      • blowhard

        HOLY SHIT you’re boring

      • blowhard

        Sorry, @eatme

        HOLY SHIT you’re boring. Wait, yes, I’ve upgraded it to HOLY SHIT you’re a cunt

      • eatme

        …then let’s call it what it really is: anti-religious
        I am very much against organized religion, but I am also a theist. Many people are in the same camp as me. MANY people.
        Are we theist-anti-theists? or anti-theist-theists?
        I wouldn’t have been so pedantic if I didn’t truly believe that the poster doesn’t recognize the difference between belief and religion.
        …and I wonder if this anti-theist doesn’t end up praying to “god” when shit goes down like most of us do, religious or not, “theist” or not.

    • Wazoo

      Judaism = Hinduism = voodoo = your horoscope = Christianity = Scientology = Mormonism = Islam = BUNCH OF FUCKING BULLSHIT.

      Fixed it.

  2. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    When your arm looks better than your sideboob, NOT a good thing!

  3. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    Yippee side boob…err…nevermind.

  4. EricLr

    Standard Scientology practice is to call everyone who criticizes you a liar (and wife-beater and child molester if possible), harass them with private detectives digging through their trash and sitting outside their house, threaten to sue them and anyone who quotes them, and run to the government to try to get laws passed to suppress them.

    You know, just your typical Sunday school luncheon stuff.

  5. Sven Golly

    In related news.
    Church of Scientology asks followers to censor Web comments

    • Ally

      Why link information Fish linked in the first paragraph?

    • Louis

      They hate psychiatry so much bcesuae it’s the only method we have to treat delusions and mental illness. In short, if you have been brainwashed the only way to cure it is through psychiatry what does one do if they have been brainwashed to hate psychiatry? A very clever ploy indeed!

  6. herbiefrog

    you dont need an intermediary to interface
    with te world around uyou

    this was started to become a profit / control centre.

    [[[what ? like give a sh*t

  7. Dan Quayle

    Prey her dong lost wicked way

  8. Jack Ketch

    What a bunch of assholes, lmao !! Of course she “liked it” and was “enthusiastic about it.” She’s an actress, you fucking dolts !! I just LOVE all the damage control that’s going on with Scientology, Sooooooo funny !!

  9. Tom Criuse is a crazy motherfucker. I don’t think he’s mentally fit to raise kids.

  10. DeucePickle

    I loved The Gift. But I think implants are in order to get those tube sock boobs back to their former glory.

  11. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    kid dont look happy

  12. So then will Scientology recruit Mark Wahlberg to stop her?

    • Lemmiwinks

      They’d rather let Kirstie Alley chew her face off. It’s cost effective since no bath salts are required.

  13. Nietzsche

    I love reading The Superficial. It’s the only gossip blog written by a person controlled by the religion they hate so much. It’s okay, they hurt you, let it go. As long as you hate them, they control you.

    And, to be fair regarding the comment about scientology and “christianity” wanting to get rid of gays, they are not the only religious groups that have problems with homosexual activity. Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and Hindus all forbid homosexuality.

    But, this blogger is hung up on what Christians or Christianity did to him so he won’t be mentioning other world religions.

    • EricLr

      Since when does Scientology have anything to do with Scientology?!? Did I miss the part in the Bible where Lord Xenu dropped people into volcanoes?

  14. El Jefe

    These people are psychopaths. How the hell can this bullshit legally be called a religion?

    • Well, in Germany you can’t call it that. They know a dangerous cult when they see one.

    • cc

      Contemplate the history of Mormonism and consider one of the next presidential candidates is one. That should give you some sleepless nights.

      • Doubtful that Romney believes in Mormonism any more than Obama believes in the crazy Christian rantings of his “mentor” Rev. Wright.

      • TheCynic

        While you’re right about Obama paying lip service to christianity, you couldn’t be more wrong about Romney. He’s a dyed-in-the-wool believer. Read about his days as a bishop when he was counselling other Mormons. He took a very hardline approach to the everyday problems people had. He’s a real prick about those looney beliefs.

    • Jack Ketch

      I think most people are aware that it ain’t no religion … it’s a cult in every sense of the word. A blood- and money-sucking cult. I know people who are in it. They make good money, but never HAVE any money and live in tiny apartments because they’re always taking off to California to take the course that will send them “to the next level.” Whoooo, wow !! Imagine having to spend money to “get to the next level.” Laughable. They gave me a copy of Dianetics and made me promise to read it. I “promised” and they kept at me. “Not yet,” I said, “but I will.” Ha … I threw it into the recycle bin. My bad. I should have burned it.

  15. puddleduck

    She knew exactly what she was getting into when she hooked up with this nut job. Apparently she was blinded by his looks, money, and power. Now that real life has set it, she wants out. Too bad she didn’t do that before bringing the child in to the mess, but I guess that’s another way to squeeze money out of the nut job. She should have at least got a tit job out of it…cause the poor girl sure could use one….

  16. inkyblack

    Consider this:

    Person A:
    Believes in the big sky fairy. Told that in order to stand a chance of getting into “heaven” (after they die, handy that) they have to be a pious, charitable person.

    Person B:
    Thinks all this religion stuff is BS. Expects to cease to exist when they die. Dips their hand in their pocket occasionally to give to charity or the occasional homeless person. Does it because it seems right at the time.

    Wouldn’t person A’s charitable works be somewhat tarnished by the fact that they are hoping to get into heaven once they shuffle off this mortal coil?

    Could it not be argued that person B is in fact better than person A because they don’t expect what they do to count toward anything?

    Mind you, if the above is correct plus there really is a big sky fairy. Then I’d imagine that the majority of people populating heaven are in fact atheists.

    I wonder if they’re happy about that?

  17. El Jefe

    And I would bang her. Can you imagine after all those years of not getting any how wild she is going to be? She is going to run through men in Hollywood like it is nobody’s business.

  18. terry

    I think Cruise is gay and Holmes was just a goddamn beard. This whole fucking divorce is a fucking PR scam. Just like Kidman, them bitches were promised lofty movie roles as long as they played their part.

    • Brooke

      I guess you missed the part about Katie’s career tanking… Remember her in the Dark Knight? Yeah, you don’t.

  19. Brooke

    Christianity doesn’t want to stomp out homosexuality, just fanatical uneducated dickheads who are scared Adam Lambert might give their sons a boner.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Heheh! I totally read that as: Christianity wants to stomp out fanatical uneducated dickheads who are scared Adam Lambert might give their sons a boner.

    • TheCynic

      If all the uneducated dickheads were stomped out, the religion would cease to exist as we know it. Therefore your premise doesn’t stand.

  20. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    awwww poor Suri

    she always hides from the paps. You can tell she doesn’t like them. Why don’t they take her somewhere with no paps?

    I think both her parents suck ass

    I feel bad for her

  21. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s always hiding from the paps and her parents never do anything about it?

  22. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    still hiding :(

  23. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    what tom cruise is going through knowing that he might never see his daughter again….whatever the man is…he’s a father….

    • Biff

      Fuck Tom Cruise. He’s a cult member and brainwashed himself. Poor kid. Not poor Tom.

    • talking sense

      full custody doesn’t mean he will never see his daughter again you moron. it means katie is in sole charge of caring for her, tom will get holidays and visitation rights. if you ask me that’s probably a bad enough idea anyway, the man’s a raging psychopath.

    • Luca

      Wow, I was thinking the same thing when I saw the clip of her pcreormanfe. (All these whack reality shows way too much and I do not watch). I was thinking all this back story if unnecessary especially when this is about singing. She incriminated herself and put herself out there to be revealed as being untruthful. I wish she would have let the talent she has carry her and not stoop to trying to win people over with lies. Why, you ask? She ended marriage#3 to baby daddy #1 recently. She has made him out to be a not there kind of dad and that is NOT true. Baby #2 is has a different father who may not be active but think how does a story play out when you married and going through a divorce and wam you pop up preggo? She is into Scientology like Tom Cruise hence their linkage. She was a victim of abuse. No one wants to discredit her, but to want to win by spinning and selling your life story as a pitfall of disasters is not accurate. She may not be a mega star but she has accomplished more than what real struggling artist have not. Who can say they were in a female R&B group, made 2 albums, did Broadway, toured, etc. She is even known for being in Friends and Lovers Stage play

  24. “He is really sad about what’s happening.”

    A scientology “authority” sad? He must not be very “clear.”

  25. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hmmm…let me see… have my shades, my purse, my bag of stuff, hair’s done, just a modicum of side boob…OK, I’m ready to go!”

  26. IRONMANAustralia

    This blog is glib. You obviously don’t know anything about psychiatry. Tom does. You’re glib, and this post is glib.

  27. Porkpie

    Does Tom Cruise do John Travolta, or does John Travolta do Tom Cruise? Or do they switch it up? I bet Cruise needs to use a strap-on because “little Tom” is VERY little.

  28. Sister in Christ :)

    I am glade i know Jesus Christ, i accepted him as my Lord and savior!! It’s something you don’t have to earn.. He accepts all, no matter how big or little you have done. Just say Lord I am a sinner..In need of a savior.. come into my heart I believe you died for me.. Was born of a virgin birth.. Died.. AND ROSE AGAIN on the THIRD DAY. Come into my life.. Take and make it what you want it to be.. Praise God Amen.. There is so many people sitting in hell.. but you don’t have to be.. Today is the day for salvation.. If you confess with thy mouth Jesus Christ is Lord.. Thy shall Be saved!! Find a church, where they are preaching Jesus Christ and Him crusified.. If you can’t..Join SBN media church praise God!! I am saved!! and on my way!! Wrote down in the Lambs Book of Life!! Hallalluah!~!~

  29. Sister in Christ :)

    Living He loved me.. Dying He saved me.. Buried, He carried my sinS far away.. Rising, he justified freely forever.. One day He’s coming.. Oh, Glorious Day.. Oh, Glorious Day!!
    Performed By: ~Casting Crowns~

  30. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise Alices Tea Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    the concealment of Suri stknis of Tom trying to manipulate the situation by creating mystery and thereby driving the price up. Over at People, a source tells TMZ that the photos would fetch less than Shiloh’s. The source says the main draw is not the baby or Tom but Suri’s mom People are fascinated by Katie Holmes, who’s leading such a weird life now, transforming from an apple-cheeked All-American girl into the Bride of Scientology. An Us Weekly source also believes that Suri photos would be a less valuable commodity than Shiloh pics. The thinking Brad and Angelina were beautiful and romantic after their baby was born. The source says the value in Suri pics have more to do with the freak factor of her parents.And there’s this One editor told TMZ that the price of the photographs would depend in no small part on where the proceeds from the sale end up, implying that it would be a very different matter if the millions went to African orphans than straight into the coffers of the Church of Scientology.

Leave A Comment