Katie Holmes Is Scientology’s 9/11

It’s been a week since Katie Holmes finally made her meticulously-planned escape from Tom Cruise, and in the aftermath has come a wave of information about Scientology which church officials are already working to downplay (If not erase altogether by complaining to Google) by claiming Katie just absolutely loved the gospel of L. Ron. She couldn’t get enough of it. TMZ reports:

As one well-connected Tom source put it, “She [Katie] was totally committed to Scientology. She had enthusiasm for it and would voluntarily and gladly participate in it when Tom was off shooting movies.”
The source adds, “This is not a fight over religion. It’s being used as a way to hurt Tom.”

“She loved it so much, she was numb to the point of being unable to convey simple human emotions. Sometimes Tom had to yank her around from the arm that’s how numb with joy she was.” As for the hurting Tom business, what a strange thing for Tom’s people to say to the media while they simultaneously complain about Katie playing the media. Via BBC News:

“We are letting ‘the other side’ (Katie and her team), play the media until they wear everyone out and then we’ll have something to say.
“It’s not Tom’s style to do this publicly. He is really sad about what’s happening.”

Yes, Tom Cruise is very cool and wouldn’t at all think about playing the media. Did you write all that down, media? In the meantime, below is a bunch of shit about Scientology that’s spilled out in just the past 24 hours for your reading pleasure, and if you’re not reading Lainey Gossip’s coverage, you’re going to want to check that out. Her latest is about Tom Cruise possibly employing psychological warfare by not filing a legal response yet and how Katie’s dad masterminded all this. So God willing this ends with the two of them having a lightsaber battle on top of a building while Katie gets all hot like she was in The Gift again and does nudity to get her career back. That’ll be best for everyone.

– Tom Cruise micro-managed her roles in Thank You For Smoking and Batman Begins to the point that Morgan Freeman was disgusted and that guy had sex with his step-granddaughter. [TMZ]

- No one’s seen or heard from Scientology leader David Miscaviage’s wife in five years after she allegedly filled out job applications without his consent. NBD. [Us Magazine]

- Shortly after Tom Cruise divorced her for having a miscarriage, scientologists told Isabella and Connor Cruise that Nicole Kidman was a “psychopath.” In their defense, she couldn’t move her face which probably didn’t help. Kids scare easily. [The Hollywood Reporter]

- Scientology president Heber Jentzsch’s son, Alexander, who hasn’t been seen in public since 2004, suddenly died of a fever on July 2, yet his own mother, who left the church, isn’t allowed to see the body. Similar to Jett Travolta, Alexander had a medical condition but allegedly wasn’t allowed to be treated by doctors unless in a dire emergency, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. [RadarOnline]

- Every time John Travolta gets a boner he tries to make male massage therapists touch it. Preferably with their colons. I’m not really sure what that has to do with any of this, it just seemed important to bring up. [The Superficial]

While all of this sounds crazy, keep in mind Scientology, like Christianity, wants to cure/eliminate homosexuality, (Paul Haggis left because the church refused to oppose Prop 8.) so it also just read like Fifty Shades of Grey to Brad Pitt’s mom. You’re gonna want to stay out of her sewing room.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News