Katie Holmes Left Tom Cruise Because Of Scientology? Noooooo

July 2nd, 2012 // 100 Comments
Tom & Katie Divorce
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After writing a way too long review of Prometheus, the last thing I want to do is talk about aliens and religion combining in another nonsensical clusterfuck, but there’s literally nothing going on besides Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce which I’m not going to pretend wasn’t goddamn Christmas day. So let’s get into this thing.

Probably the least shocking news to come out of the aftermath is that Scientology finally caused Katie to smuggle Suri away to a secret apartment she was quietly signing the lease for while Tom Cruise was in Iceland, according to Us Weekly. Even less shocking, on top of that, private investigators that the church denies works for them so you know they do, have been parked outside said apartment all weekend. [Update: And they have guns now. Oh, good.] But after all these years of living with L. Ron’s Midget Jesus, what happened to finally make Katie start going JLo in Enough and make a break for it? Turns out Tom wanted to enroll Suri in Sea Org, the church’s hardcore elite echelon with a penchant for trapping women on goddamn cruise ships if they talk back. TMZ reports:

Sea Org, as it is known, is where the highest levels of Scientology are taught and kids as young as five can be sent to live there … without their parents — and our sources say Tom is a big fan.
Our sources say Katie and Tom had been arguing over Suri’s indoctrination into Scientology — and we’re told the Sea Org was the flashpoint.
The Sea Org has been often compared to a boot camp and several ex-Scientologists (including Oscar winner Paul Haggis) have been outspoken against its military-like conditions. The Freewinds, the massive Scientology boat that was the location of Cruise’s infamous birthday party in 2004, is entirely staffed by Sea Org members.
According to the official Scientology website, members of Sea Org sign “a one-billion-year pledge to symbolize their eternal commitment to the religion and it is still signed by all members today.”

I don’t see the problem here. It’s a one-billion-year pledge on a cruise ship. Do you know how many free shrimp buffets that is? A billion lot. Anyway, apparently all this Scientology business scares the shit out of Rupert Murdoch which is incredible because we’re taking about one of the most powerful men on the planet who doesn’t even fear the laws of man and has a ninja for a wife. The man should fear nothing. Via Twitter:

Scientology back in news. Very weird cult, but big, big money involved with Tom Cruise either number two or three in hiearchy.
Watch Katie Holmes and Scientology story develop. Something creepy, maybe even evil, about these people.

Okay, so Scientology is bad huju, and it only makes sense that Katie Holmes would make a run for it. That is until you realize her parents are bringing her back into Catholicism, so we’re almost right back where we started from. One religion takes your money while preaching women should be forced into slave labor on cruise ships to appease alien ghosts so they don’t give you pneumonia, while the other takes your money and preaches swallowing a pill to prevent unwanted pregnancy will cause an angry sky man to doom you to burning in a lake of fire forever. (Plus child rape.) So if these two are just going to cling to batshit beliefs, might I suggest Mormonism? Turns out they’re totally cool with you being openly gay while in a heterosexual marriage if I’m deciphering that incomprehensible mess of a dude’s life correctly. Except, wait, that dude still has sex with women. Tom will never bite. Dammit.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. USDA Prime McBeef

    TCLT fucking C.

    $cientology is a $cam.

  2. I would like to formally apply to be your proofreader. I have extensive experience in spelling and reading as well as drinking, profanity and unabashed judgement of others. On a related note, sometimes it takes me a long time to read these posts because I have to try and figure out what word is missing.

    • Frank Burns

      pics?

    • j/k

      Everyone knows to apply for a job at the superficial you must send in nude pics of yourself.

      • I think I do remember knowing that at some point. A few more weeks at the trainer and I may be ready for a “serious career change”.

      • cc

        If you are that girl from Austin who sent in a pic for the banner girl contest, please send naked pics asap.

      • I’m not. And please do the following – take a shower, if you don’t have a job, get one and go outside and talk to a girl using manners your mom taught you. You then won’t have to be begging for naked pictures on a celebrity gossip site.

      • cc

        I actually have excellent personal grooming (I even brush my teeth 3x a day), an undergrad and a masters from highly regarded institutions, have impeccable manners, and run my own consulting company. If someone saying in jest that they’d like to see your anatomy is so offensive to you, you should probably find somewhere else to ply your editing services.

      • kimmykimkim

        Hey, Cc. You sound like you need a girlfriend to share all that awesome with. Don’t worry! I’m available. And on my way over…

      • cc

        I am cooking dinner as we speak…

      • kimmykimkim

        Cc, you’re the coolest. Ever, ever.

      • Whoa, hold a sec there. You expect manners on a site named “The Superficial?’”

      • I eagerly look forward to Sarah Munley’s first attempt to edit the phrase,”Tits, or it didn’t happen”.

      • The fact that you don’t know that the period goes inside the quotation marks automatically disqualifies you for the proofreading position. Have a nice day.

      • Oh…that was to Sarah Munley and the “serious career change” typo above. But justi, I guess you’re out of the running for the job, too.

      • Actually, I’m not – I don’t consider “Tits, or it didn’t happen” to be a phrase that needs punctuation, and therefore the period should come after the quotation marks, as it doesn’t govern the phrase.

        Universal American usage for this actually follows no rules, and throws all punctuation inside the quotes whether it makes sense or not. (See Fletch, above) However, I was ruined by British rules of grammar at an early age, so sue me.

      • I was never good with punctuationl. I hated English classes. I was more of a math nerd.

      • Can’t spell either

      • Justi, you’re right that it’s inconsistent that periods and commas are to go inside the quotes, but question marks and most other punctuation go outside them. Nevertheless, that’s the standard form, and someone applying to be a proofreader, as Sarah is, should know that, rather than rebelliously doing her own thing.

      • We both know that Sarah’s real rebellion is being too sensitive to comply with “tits or GTFO” – which actually means Sarah is too clueless to just send in some downloaded nude pictures of anonymous hotties, and therefore is not someone who should be working for The Superficial. in the first place.

        My feeling is that if you have to take the time to determine whether question marks, etc. go inside, or outside, the quotes, then you should take the time to apply it to the rest. And then bitch slap anyone who writes in to argue with you. That “standard form” is an uncaring usage since it adheres to no rules of logic whatsoever, and I flatly refuse to comply. Fuck the “standard form” since it actively promotes a lazy and illiterate usage. That “standard form” represents everything that’s wrong with America, as in: “who the fuck cares, I can’t be bothered to do this or even download nude pictures to send in to apply for a proofreader job, now give me a 790 on my SATs”.
        Damn, kids these days, there’s no fucking pride any more.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        *Writes I heart Justi on her trapper keeper.*

      • Eh, I don’t think this is something worth a pissing match (and I don’t say that just because I have a weak stream). Maybe you’re right, maybe the standard is bullshit, but at the very least, putting periods and commas inside the quotes at least looks cleaner. And don’t underestimate clean flow in establishing the rules of grammar: we use “an” instead of “a” before words beginning with a vowel because “can it core a apple?” sounds unwieldy. (Funny, but unwieldy.) Come to think of it, there’s no reason to write “an” instead of “a”—and no one knows this better than the deaf, who don’t have any a/an differentiation in sign-language. But we do it anyway because we’ve let phonetic rules guide our written grammar. (And the French do it, too.)

        Okay, that was some tangent. But my larger point is, like the standard form or not, people are going to judge a publication/website’s professionalism by its adherence to that standard. And maybe those rules should change, but I don’t think a celebrity gossip site can successfully lead that vanguard.

      • This has all been…enlightening. And hilarious. Mostly hilarious.

      • It has to start somewhere. Consider the gauntlet as thrown.
        [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/02/street_cred-320_258.png[/img]

      • So that’s me on the left and you on the right? I can live with that.

      • kimmykimkim

        Hmm, I’m curious as to what TomFrank and justie do for a living. Yeah it’s none of my business but it’s entertaining to read the back and forth – WHEN, I’m interested enough, which isn’t that often, so don’t get too excited, but, we know that cc runs his own consulting company which I think is code for helping companies decide who to fire. And Sarah is or wants to be an editor, I already forgot, and I sit in cubicle all day and buy pilot supplies. Which explains why that shit up there has practically no punctuation and why this entire thing is written incorrectly. Oh well. Whatever. Your turn.

      • kimmy, you’re not passing yourself as a grammarian, you’re a sweet chick, and you’ve got a great rack. For those reasons—and not necessarily in that order—I would never bother to go all grammar-cop on you. I might make a joke out of your typo or something like that, but you’d know it’s all in fun.

      • kimmykimkim

        Damn, justie, since cc is gonna turn me down, you sound like you need a girlfriend!

        Sarah, just show us your tits or leave. Or quit being stupid. No, just show us your tits and leave.

      • kimmykimkim

        Don’t worry, guys. We won’t last more than 3 months. I don’t commit.

      • A true copywriter would’ve submitted these: (.) (.)

        Now we demand actual pictures.

  3. COUP D'ETAT

    Scientology is in for a roller-coaster ride.
    Let the secrets spill like wine!

  4. YTBOY

    Katy is a super hot white girl!! I’m sure she’ll find a suitable mate real soon!!

  5. cc

    If I had a child and my spouse wanted to send them off to Sea Org, said spouse would find themselves on the wrong end of a 20 gauge while I phoned a cab to come get me. Which is probably what happened.

  6. Jack Ketch

    So much for Katie (and I call her Katie because that’s her name – not Kate) being brain-washed and controlled. Go Katie !!!! And shed even more light on how much of a fucking freak Tom Cruise is. In all the photos taken during their marriage, the body language was more like friends or brother and sister than husband and wife. I’ll say it again … he’s a fucking freak. Who “auditions” women to be a wife ? I mean come on now.

  7. EricLr

    Wow, turns out Katie isn’t as much a gullible bimbo as I thought (unlike her husband).

  8. Cunt gets what she deserves. She sold her soul to that fucking nut, and his cult, in exchange for a steady paycheck because her career was in the shitter.

  9. The Most Interesting

    Dude! When *Rupert Murdoch* calls you weird, creepy, and evil, you have got some serious ‘splainin to do.

    That’s like Travolta calling someone a little faggy.

  10. According to US weekly this sounds less like a divorce and more like and escape.

  11. joho777

    Scientology announces they aren’t stalking Katie because they don’t have to.

    Tom Cruise planted a GPS tracker in Katie so we always know where she is at every moment and who she’s talking to.

    That’s standard procedure for people who may one day become enemies toward Scientology.

  12. A disproportionate number of Hollywood actors are Scientologists for the same reason why a disproportionate number of them are liberals…because they’re shallow air heads who exist in a fantasy world of make believe and are shielded from objective reality.

  13. After the divorce is finalized, Katy will be jumping up and down on a couch with joy with the Color of Tom’s Money.

  14. Sounds like Tom’s hired a few good men to follow Katie…Because Katie can’t handle the truth. The pending divorce of Tom and Katie has made me lose faith in all sham marriages.

  15. The pending divorce of Tom and Katie has made me lose faith in all sham marriages.

  16. Unfortunately there is an even larger cult than the scientologists. They’re called “Democrats.”

    • Cher X

      AND….we get the political idiot on the article that has nothing to do with politics.

      Congrats. YOU are that moron.

    • Archie Leach

      And the newest cult for the seriously mentally deficient are the teabaggers.

  17. Paraphrasing the words of Don Vito Corleone – “I’m a superstitious man. And if some unlucky accident should befall Katie Holmes, if she should be shot in the head by a police officer, or if she hangs herself in a jail cell, or if she’s struck by a bolt of lightning… then I’m going to blame some of the people in this room…”.

  18. Katie Holmes Divorce New York Scientology Following Her
    Lissa
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, my contract says I couldn’t leave under the terms of “because he’s gay”, so Scientology will have to do for an excuse”

  19. NEWS ALERT: This just in, Tom Cruise has fallen off the couch.

  20. rantatonne

    may not be, the best forum for this but could wouldn’t mind seeing some reasons why Scientology is such the scam filled bs its treated as and other religions seem to get a pass. Take the time factor out, as other major religions were probably received with the same skeptical view of just being new age bs at the times of their creation.

    • Jack Ketch

      Huh ??

    • What other religions “get a pass”? Maybe you missed Fish’s review of Prometheus with the “Sky Jesus” remarks? Wake the fuck up – Ricky Santorum and Kirk Cameron are out there bleating about how Christianity is being victimized by not being allowed to get involved in running the government, Mitt Romney’s catching shit for his magic underwear, and all Muslims are terrorists for a fact. The only major ones who aren’t getting regularly kicked around the block are Judaism and Buddhism, probably because they mind their own beeswax and don’t proselytize. (And Sikhs, probably because no one in this country knows what the fuck they are. Also, turbans=Muslims.)

      That said, whether all new religions are viewed with skepticism when they debut is utterly irrelevant, and the “you’re picking on my religion, why don’t you bash someone else’s” whine is a pussy response to criticism. If your religion, cult or whatever the fuck you wanna call it is manipulative, or responsible for shit that harms people, or is just plain batshit crazy, the freedom that allows your cult, religion or whatever to exist (and not be taxed) is the same freedom that gives people the right to make judgments and comment on it. If you don’t like that, then either change how you run things, or else leave this country and set up a theocracy somewhere else where you can have total control.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        Kirk Cameron. That fucker does bleat. That fucker bleats so goddamn loud.

      • cc

        Have you ever seen the segment where he talks about chickenosaurus rex, or more precisely why haven’t they found one? What a buffoon.

      • The “perfect” banana as an argument for God is my personal fave. Obviously he’s never even seen a wild banana, let alone tried to eat one with his bare hands – he only knows the human-cultivated variety. Actually, he only “knows” what he knows – don’t bother him with disturbing facts.

        Hey, I think someone who has an actual brain, yet demonstrates no capacity for cogent reasoning whosoever is evidence that God doesn’t exist, but that’s just me.

      • cc, I think you mean the “crocoduck.”

      • cc

        Indeed you are correct. Although I suspect he wonders ponders the absence of a chickenosaurus rex also.

      • Someone needs to stuff his mouth with magic underwear. You want your religion to be involved in government? Fine, but first we tax the shit out of it. Retroactively, to 1787.

      • rantatonne

        I was referring in general society. How people of various religions will laugh at Scientology but somehow give their own, and other established religions dogma some sort of pass. For instance i told my father about some of the tenants of Scientology and Mormonism and we had a little laugh, until i said but you think the one true god made up of 3 separate parts one who he supposedly fathered and killed is ok? He wasn’t laughing after that.

      • Which basically proves – what? That most religious people are hypocrites and think that their way is the only way, their God is the only God? Shocking news!

        Seriously, how the fuck old are you? 11? 13?

        FYI, this is exactly why there are religious wars – it’s a variation on the Smothers Brothers routine of “Mom liked me best” – only with ammunition. This is why Jefferson and Madison were determined to keep religion out of government, and why those who are bound and determined to infiltrate it and breach the “invisible” wall and try to make this country into a theocracy because Christ/Mohammed/L. Ron/Whatever Magic Underwear Wearing Prophet wants it that way can go fuck themselves.

      • rantatonne

        justifiable, either there is an issue with your reading comprehension, you are just angry or i did a terrible job wording both comments. Can a religious person tell me why their religion makes sense but Scientology does not. On a related note Can they please explain religious tolerance, since for example the Christian god clearly states there is no other god but him, says worship of other gods is a sin, so where comes the tolerance of those that your god clearly states are sinners and repeatedly directs you to shun if not outright kill? And by clear reasons i mean non hypocritical or circular reasoning.

        I get the frustration justifiable. the above example is part of some efforts easing into the conversation where i tell my parents that i pretty much think all religions make no sense. have felt that way for at least as many years as how old you asked me i was.

        relax justifiable I am not defending religions, though i am not offended by your misdirected anger, as i often find myself in fits of WTF when presented by some theistic reasoning.

        as i said to begin with, may not have been the best forum to pose the question.

      • My “anger” isn’t misdirected in the least, I can’t believe you’re such a plaintive fool as to sit there demanding to be spoon fed the obvious and whining “why won’t someone tell me” when you should be able to figure out a basic dichotomy for yourself. Do you want some kind of a permission slip from an outside authority to tell you what to think, or absolve you of telling off your parents, or what? If so, just give them a DVD of Religulous and forget about being included in the will.

        Seriously, if you actually expect to get a logical answer from someone who heavily invested in a belief structure, then you’re a moron. Religion is based on belief and faith, not logic and proof, and if you don’t know the difference, then you’re in over your head already. And since most of the events, tenets and dogma that are attached to all religions pretty much defy reality as well as the physical laws that govern the actual world, you not only want someone to “explain” all that dogma to you in a way that “makes sense”, you also want to be shown why this doctrine isn’t hypocritical, but inclusive.
        Shit, all I wanted at your age was a pony, but I was realistic and willing to fucking work for it.

        Better ask for breast milk from your dad, you’ll have better luck.

        And do some outside reading rather than ask for easy answers or quick absolution from the net. Start with Christopher Hitchens, Walter Bauer and Bart Ehrman if you really care about that WTF response you claim to have.

      • BrandiLye

        Whoa, justifiable. I was just gonna bring up the whole L. Ron Hubbard was a science fiction writer thing. But bravo! -2 points for profanity.

      • rantatonne

        … Hitchens will be missed, but good thing we live in a time where his thoughts are easily accessible to those they may help. Your anger does seem misdirected as you think i myself haven’t come up with answers to those questions i posed a long time ago leading me to see the dichotomy, and realize the indoctrination that leads one to think their particular brand of shit doesn’t smell.

        I was in the countryside of western Kenya for a funeral this weekend, and had the chance to pose some simple questions about religion to one of the villagers (he ended up being drunk on some potent home brewed gin so i cannot be sure of the lasting effect of them) but at least during the conversation i got the sense that he had never actually considered these questions that seem so plain to some. And by trying to answer them began for himself to realize the inherent flaws in how factual he viewed Christianity.

        I was trying to get him to see the elephant standing right in front of his nose. Instead of just telling him “you know, i know you are wrong,” in a spoon-feeding manner (or in a food fight manner which the wtf reaction sometimes elicits) i posed a question to see if he could defend his own position, something he had never considered doing, because many people do not see belief as something faith based but treat it as actual solid facts.

        Funny you mention Religious as Maher was posing simple questions to theists in order to get them to analyze their views, not to reinforce or find ‘permission’ for his own, something similar to my intent.

      • mismy

        Justi, while I normally think the merciless lashes you hand out to morons is applause-worthy, this time I believe was a misdirected attempt. I’ve always laughed at Scientologists, but I honestly don’t have time to research it, there are FAR more important things to be looking into on the web- alternative fuel & energy sources, and why aren’t they being implemented when we CAN save our planet, the failures of capitalism in modern society, the methods for the human race to evolve globally, why the FUCK is weed illegal but drinking is forced upon us… Oops got off track… my point is, rattatone asked for answers from a bunch of folks he knew would give it to him straight. At least he, or she of course, put together an intelligent, curious inquiry about a human behavioral deficiency issue rather than the drool-inducing subject matters that the majority of homo sapiens issue forth. Use that giant, opinionated brain of yours to berate the idiots that really need it, Xenu knows there’s enough of them!! Also, please excuse my poor grammar & punctuation- like I said, you are the brains of this operation!

      • Brooke

        Though I think Justi did an excellent job of shutting you up, and I want to give them cookies for every awesome post on this page, I will attempt to present you with another response.

        It is pretty natural for mankind to want to turn to a higher power, or to belong to a group of like-minded individuals, or to want to think that following a set of rules will better their lives. At its core, Christianity is pretty amazing, and I have met people who are loving and inspiring people thanks to their faith. I actually really envy Christians because though I was raised Christian, I admittedly lack the faith and consider myself agnostic. On the flip side, I have met some very mean-spirited Christians who were racist or hypocritical towards people who were different. That is not Jesus’s fault, it is from corruption from church leaders over power or money or what have you. The teachings of love and acceptance (many of Jesus’s stories preached against racism and one of his closest friends was a prostitute) are great, but not all religious leaders go by Jesus’s preachings. It is a sad truth.

        Scientology, as far as I know, does not make any attempt to better mankind because it is based on a science fiction novel. People join it for security, and the leaders of the cult are there for the power and the money. So it is much like the darker side of organized religion, but as far as I can tell it has no redeemable feature. It is not based on love and tolerance, and it punishes those who try to get out. It is less than fifty years old and already it is as corrupt as religions/cults come. That is why I insult the entire scientology religion instead of just the leaders, whereas with Christianity I think it has its merits and has truly helped people, be it Banker Bob going through a divorce and looking for moral support or a village in Bolivia who got drinkable water thanks to a dedicated church charity and volunteers.

        Hopefully this clears up your confusion.

      • rantatonne

        thank you for your response, was raised christian myself and can relate to some of what you said. I asked in the original comment to disregard time factor as i am pretty certain that unless Scientology does develop a more moderate ‘helpful’ part to the whole shtick it may just fizzle out and be done with. With the time factor not many of us know Scientologists, i personally have never met one. I wonder if there are more moderate ones out there.

        To me it feels like Christianity and other major religions were based on the science fiction of the day, which is why i suggested one takes out the time factor.

        I would also find it arguable that the theists i find that are good are good in spite of their religion and not due to it. to quote the late Hitchens “Name me an ethical statement made or an action performed by a believer that could not have been made or performed by a non-believer.”

      • Brooke

        Well, I think time is important in this case because whereas other religions started out with good intentions they devolved over the centuries (though you could argue that the Mormon denomination started out with questionable origins… most Mormons I have met have actually been really lovely people), I am not sure there are any good intentions behind Scientology. I see Scientology like any sci-fi based religion, like the official Jedi religion, as starting out as a geek club and then growing to insane proportions. I once heard a minister say if a church of any kind asks you to put money down to be a member, it is not working for any power higher than their own wallets. You can be a member of a, say, Methodist church and never give offerings or anything, nobody will kick you out. But I don’t think you can be in Scientology without putting down money at some point. In such a short amount of time, it has become such a symbol for greed and corruption that I think time should very much be considered.

        Also, you should be aware that it is not entirely fair to say other religions are based around fiction. Buddha was a man, Muhammad walked the earth, Jesus really was crucified, etc. How much of their lives were divinely inspired can be questioned, but these religions are all based on some sort of fact. Hubbard really existed but Scientology seems based on his fictional stories and characters, not so much on him. I guess you could label him a prophet and say his book was his “teachings” as with Confucius or Jesus but that takes me back to what his true intentions were. Frankly, I wouldn’t have a problem with Scientology even if I felt the premis was ridiculous had it not reached the sheer size and power that it has, and its methods for dealing with troublesome members has been kown to be inhumane and completely frightening. Since there are no people out there making a second denomination to oppose the main church, or trying to get the world to know that not all members are money-hungry lunatics, I have guessed either they are afraid to or there just aren’t casual followers. Islam has some pretty awful sects, but many Muslim groups have spoken up against the Taliban saying their religion does not justify the so-called jihads and that it is purely political. With Scientology, are there different sects? There are different levels, but I am not sure they oppose the higher-ups and try to break away.

        I have never met a member of Scientology, but I have read diaries by former members… a woman was fed alive to cockroaches for trying to leave the church. When I left the Methodist church, people gave me hugs and wished me well, and still invited me to summer barbeques. If you haven’t researched the cult beyond the evening news, it is a pretty frightening group of people.

      • rantatonne

        I actually have researched and agree that it is atrocious, what i do feel is that other theists are just as damaging. The influence of the christian or Muslim religions far surpasses that of Scientology. they may have been tempered somewhat in countries such as America (though the evangelical movement may soon change that), but as i know there are no Scientology in a place like Kenya, but you still get to see some of the crippling effects of religion. If you take out the time aspect, or maybe consider the history of the other religions) you the overall negative effects seem similar.

        going back to the aforementioned villagers, my cousin had a German fiance ad one drunk was taking about why would someone ever marry a white person, which annoyed me and eventually led to me trying to get them to question certain illogical beliefs they had, such as all white people are bad or Christianity is the one true religion. (i asked them that if they thought white people were not worth marrying how come they so readily clung to a religion that was brought to them by white colonialists)

        As for the historical figures you mention, it is still sci-fi. fiction based on the factual existence of things vs fantasy which would be mostly made up from ones imagination. We also must question the verity of history, before the information age a lot of myth, and embellishment found its way into the history books.

        I see Buddhism as more of a guide to living than a theism as there is no deity prescribed.

        as for the good non paying Methodists, Scientology is at the point where all the news and information we are exposed to is of fundamentalists, so i think it should only be fair to compare them to the fundamentalists of other religions, who do pay a great amount of money,and possibly, greater cost in ignorance, time and in more extreme cases their own lives often accompanied by a bunch of ‘innocents.’

        Ah i wish Fish could include a forum on this site, would be better to discuss certain things, and it would make it a one stop site for humor and more thought provoking debates, and we could pose full questions and responses without having to account for the TLDR occurrences.

      • Max

        You want a forum to discuss deeper topics on the superficial?? I really hope it won’t happen, when I come here depth and seriousness are exactly what I’m trying to get rid of..

      • Carla

        love you looooong time, justifiable RIGHT ON

  21. Crabby Old Guy

    Well, good for Katie – real question now becomes, will this unleash Kelly Preston from Travolta’s grasp? I mean, Katie is nice for a warm-up act, but Kelly is the main course.

  22. LOL at Tom for thinking he could just ship Suri away.

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/02/Suri Cruise2-20110908-98-340_510.jpg[/img]

    Like Suri was gonna let that happen. You don’t mess with Suri Cruise

  23. gigi

    hold up…. just wait one minute— what’s Tom Cruise doing in my lovely lovely Iceland? ach, now I gotta drive around with a big thing of sage & smudge the whole place when I go back to visit… damn it… that’s gonna mess up my week — maybe I can make some calls….

  24. [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/02/suri-cruise-340_557.jpg[/img]

    Suri on her way to the meeting that destroyed TomKat

  25. Why Scientology is considered more crazy than any other religion is beyond me

    • Max

      Because it is, dear..

    • Dead

      All religions are equally insane and equally baseless. The problem is that it’s a lot easier to get people to hate the one that only includes crazy rich actors. We love to pretend that we’re better and more wholesome than the “Hollywood elite”, even while we wait with baited breath to find out the details of a celebrity divorce or repeatedly smash F5 while we wait for Perez Hilton to dig through some pseudo-celebrity’s trash so that he can blog about what kind of used condoms he found.

      The fact of it is, it’s all bullshit. It’s just that for a lot of Americans, Christianity is sacred bullshit. As long as it’s someone else’s religion, it’s fair game. Islam, Mormonism, Scientology. All a bunch of crazy cultists. But man, that angry man in the sky who hates fags? He seems legit.

  26. Doc Schweinstrudel

    I don’t care what anyone of you say about Tom, jealous fucks. He still looks pretty decent and he is a multi millionaire. I woud hit on him if I had a chance. Like the rest of the females (and males) who type shit about him.
    Some 6 months ago almost everyone on here was worshipping Mila Kunis and attacking me for saying she isn’t that good look and a douche. Now see what she looks like in candid pics without couture dresses/shoes and a team of makeup specialists and photoshop. And based on whom she dates. Kulkin and Kutcher -yuckyyuck. I’ll take Tom Cruise any day over these two.

  27. BlubboThe Clown

    It is high time the fucking US Government woke the fuck up to this god damned cult like Europe (especially Germany) has. If they do not intervene in this mess, Katie Holmes will probably be “erased” by these nutters. The people at Waco did far less than cult of Elron has, and they were burned to the ground.

    Where’s the BATF now? Isn’t it time Clearwater was liberated of these cultists?

    Elvis Presley once called them a “Goddamn cult out for my money.” Truer words have not been spoken.

  28. Dead

    Hilarious quote from Rupert Murdoch, considering that he’s one of the biggest champions of his own religious cult and unquestionably more evil than Tom Cruise who is obviously just entirely insane rather than malevolent.

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