Suppressive Person? What? Scientology Loves Katie Holmes LOL

Ever since her divorce – That required burners and some James Bond shit to pull off. – Katie Holmes has always believed Scientology considers her a suppressive person. Probably because Tom Cruise specifically said the words, “You’re a suppressive person,” before hopping in his bodyguard’s Baby Bjorn and yelling, “TELEPORTATION, BITCH.” Except thanks to the new HBO documentary Going Clear, the church has a bit of a mammoth fucking public relations problem as evidenced by all the crazy stunts they’ve been pulling (Highly recommend clicking that link.) to try and discredit the film. In fact, if you Google the words “Going Clear,” the top hit will be a paid ad for a Scientology backed magazine debunking the film because that’s how scared shitless they are. And keeping with that theme, here they are feeding talking points about Katie Holmes to TMZ who apparently will gladly regurgitate them:

When we broke the story — that Katie and Tom are so estranged they don’t even talk about raising their 8-year-old daughter Suri — we started getting tips that Tom has shut her out because she’s an SP … a Suppressive Person.
An SP stands for several things, including people who disavow the Church. The Church has a procedure for declaring people SPs. Once they’re declared an SP, people in the Church are told not to associate with them.
Well-placed sources close to the Church tell TMZ, Katie was NOT declared a Suppressive Person. What’s interesting, we’re told Katie actually thinks she’s been declared one … but she hasn’t.

With all the attention being paid to Katie Holmes’ new romance – and Going Clear’s claim that Scientology flat out sabotaged Tom Cruise’s marriage to Nicole Kidman – it behooves the church not to look like it puts another one of his ex-wives in the same category as Hitler. And if you think that’s an exaggeration, here are the church’s exact words on suppressive persons:

A Suppressive Person (SP) is a person who seeks to suppress other people in their vicinity. A Suppressive Person will goof up or vilify any effort to help anybody and particularly knife with violence anything calculated to make human beings more powerful or more intelligent.
The Suppressive Person is also known as the Anti-Social Personality. Within this category one finds Napoleon, Hitler, the unrepentant killer and the drug lord.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, holy shit, Katie Holmes has a knife! I mean, goddammit, that’s fucked up. Totally fucked up. (Run, Pacey!)

Photos: Getty