Katie Holmes: ‘So About Those Penis Gummies…’

Because there’s a chance people might figure out Tom Cruise loves penis so much he demands all his snacks be shaped like them, Katie Holmes went on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and set the record straight on why her daughter was photographed holding cock gummies:

Katie: It can be intense sometimes because there are moments in motherhood where she will have trouble putting on the coat or whatever. Then it’s a story about how she won’t wear a coat. Recently, I took her to get ice cream in New York at this place called Serendipity that we go to all the time. It’s for kids. The clientele is children. We go in and we are waiting for a table and she grabs some gummies that are boy part gummies. I was horrified.
Ellen: Boy part?
Katie: P-e-n-i-s (Katie spells it out) gummies. I said, oh wow those aren’t Swedish fish.
Ellen: Even I know that. I know the difference there. …So someone made those on purpose. They look like that? It is made to look like a p-e-n-i-s (Ellen spells is out.)
Katie: They are called p-e-n-i-s gummies and they look like it. She was holding the box and I was like ok, wow we don’t need that right now. Because I thought if I said put that back and then she’s going to say, what is this? And I really didn’t want to have that conversation. I was like, why are selling these here? This is for kids. And then it was on the cover of a magazine that I’m giving her those gummies.
Ellen: They saw them in her hand?
Katie: Yes, they were taking photos of it. I was like, oh my god, no. We put them back. You know so sometimes it’s like no, wait, hold on.
Ellen: So now people think you’re feeding your child p-e-n-i-s gummy bears…

Because I was only provided with the transcript (The episode airs Friday.), I can’t tell if this is true or not, but does Katie Holmes seem to be expressing way more emotions than usual lately? I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, but I’m starting to think that whatever happened in that Brainwash Bus Tom forced her to live in might be wearing off. Which makes sense considering she’s constantly exposed to an independent kindergartener who’ll just as soon cut you before look at you. “Hey! Hey, lady! Quit spacing out and get me an Evian. I’d ask ‘Thomas Mapother’ – tee-hee – but he can’t reach the top shelf either. *snaps fingers* Helllooooo? Goddammit.”

Photos: Splash News