Yesterday, photos of a pregnant-looking Katie Holmes surfaced prompting people like me to make jokes about Tom Cruise implanting the baby with Scientology beams because heterosexual intercourse gives him the willies. Since then, Katie’s rep has issued a denial, but not without going the trendy new route of making wild accusations:
“She’s not pregnant and this photo looks doctored,” Ina Treciokas told E! News.
I was actually about to make the same argument I made during the pregnant Scarlett Johansson fiasco: Just say your client put on a little weight, again, making me look like an asshole, but then the January Jones photos popped up. And seriously, ladies, how the hell am I supposed to tell the difference between that and Tom Cruise accidentally sliding Katie Holmes too many pancakes under the door of her cell? Now, I’m just going to assume you’re all pregnant which is exactly what happens when “activist judges” classify practicing non-licensed gynecology in a lab coat as sexual assault. I tried to warn you, but oh, no, you just wanted to put your makeup on while driving.
Photo: Pacific Coast News