Katie Holmes’ Rep Claims Pregnant Photos Were ‘Doctored’

May 10th, 2011 // 36 Comments
Katie Holmes Pregnant 2011

Yesterday, photos of a pregnant-looking Katie Holmes surfaced prompting people like me to make jokes about Tom Cruise implanting the baby with Scientology beams because heterosexual intercourse gives him the willies. Since then, Katie’s rep has issued a denial, but not without going the trendy new route of making wild accusations:

“She’s not pregnant and this photo looks doctored,” Ina Treciokas told E! News.

I was actually about to make the same argument I made during the pregnant Scarlett Johansson fiasco: Just say your client put on a little weight, again, making me look like an asshole, but then the January Jones photos popped up. And seriously, ladies, how the hell am I supposed to tell the difference between that and Tom Cruise accidentally sliding Katie Holmes too many pancakes under the door of her cell? Now, I’m just going to assume you’re all pregnant which is exactly what happens when “activist judges” classify practicing non-licensed gynecology in a lab coat as sexual assault. I tried to warn you, but oh, no, you just wanted to put your makeup on while driving.

Click Here For The “Pregnant” Katie Holmes Photos

Photo: Pacific Coast News


  1. lyn

    nah she’s just fat.

  2. I don’t even care, I’ve moved on. Now I want to know why in the HELL hollywood chicks can’t put their cell phone away? Why are they always carrying it in their hand?

    • Bob

      Yes! I was wondering that too actually, I’d love to know. It’s like their begging to be mugged or something.

    • Freaky

      Skinny jeans. Pockets are fo’ sho’ only, man. She should carry a waist-pack to cover that ponch she’s sporting. Women in waist packs are hawt.

    • Alex

      Because as much as they want to deny it, it is their fucking accessory.

      • Ha it’s true. Why do you think they make those hideous fake LV faceplates and blinged out Swarovski covers for ipods?
        I’ll admit, I always carry mine too bc I’m always texting and its just easier to carry it and yeah I just feel safer holding it for some reason.

      • Richard McBeef

        that’s not a cell phone it’s a xenu communicator

  3. Bucky Barnes

    Occam’s razor: the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one. She accidently sat on one of Tom’s butt plugs and got a little backed up.

  4. The Critical Crassness

    Who the fuck cares? Really! Fish did you leave your perspective on vacation when you came back? How about something a little more newsworthy than, “Is she or isn’t she the victim of doctoring?” or “Who sperminated January Jones?” Who the fuck cares?

    • Irony Man

      I’m always amused when people waste time complaining that a post was a waste of their time.

      • uncle wiggles

        haha no shit! You may want to post a link to the definition of irony, since critical asswipeness was the source.

  5. droz

    She’s just finally realizing she’s in a fake marriage and doesn’t have to look good for her “husband”

  6. Freaky

    I shoop shit for a living and that shit ain’t shooped. Scientologists always go for the conspiracy excuse. Nutjobs! I guess Tom’s not really a closeted gay man, either…it’s just a conspiracy by the military-industrial complex to tarnish his manliness.

  7. mud butt

    “how am I *supposed to* tell the difference”

    Good job, and you’re welcome.

  8. matchbook

    This looks shopped. I can tell tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite few shops in my time.

  9. Those goddamned Thetans have been masters of Photoshop for six hundred millennia.

  10. Richard McBeef

    pregnant with another little l. ron or a photoshopped tummy, either one of those options requires significant doctoring.

  11. cc

    This took real skill, doctoring her face from looking ‘utterly bereft of hope’ to ‘pensive’. Very subtle work.

  12. angerinside

    Of course she was “doctored” ain’t no way in hell the little gay space elf was going to do it.

  13. Kelley

    “Your” client … not “you’re” client, dammit Fish !! How many people out there realize that “you’re” is actually a contraction for you are ?? Huh ?

  14. V

    The “bump” does look blurry though. The detail of the shirt is lost around the so called belly. Who hires these amateurs?

  15. Bringbackbabalu

    Who cares if they are pregnant, or if they aren’t pregnant. That is not newsworthy for this site! Unless she is naked, or in a bikini, or or…you could find someone like Adrian Curry and post pics of her doing anything…or if someone dies. So in the case of Katie Holmes, she can only be on if she fits the following criteria

    a. is naked
    b. is dead
    c. is in a picture with xinu, overking of the universe and/or is wearing a bikini
    d. is doing anything remotely sexy other than shopping, or being subjected to some random papparazzi with no fear of xinu wrath taking a picture of her doing absolutely nothing

    this isnt some damn preggo-fetish website anyway gtfo
    ps- has taylor momsen turned 18 yet?
    pss-I checked google, its about 1 month away I guess we are stuck with katie holmes and mediocre looking 50 year old former supermodels in a bikini. At least we are starting to make some progress, for example if jessica simpson could just walk around pantless all the time.

    • Richard McBeef

      I wouldn’t mind seeing her dead (b), with only a bikini bottom on (a & c), bent over and grabbing her ankles but with a demure look on her dead face (d), while xenu is the background masturbating into a volcano (c).

  16. Ed

    So when she pops out a kid about 9 months later, we’ll know that the publicist is a lying skank.

  17. You know what? These photos do look doctored. The public is just so eager for another Cruise/Holmes baby that they can’t contain themselves. Hell, I Photoshopped 30 pictures of a pregnant Suri this morning.

  18. Yikes

    Maybe that’s just where her ass is hiding?

  19. The receptacle shall be punished for going out in public during the gestation.

  20. the captain

    she just means: HER DIET NEEDS TO BE “DOCTORED” AGAIN……….

  21. lyn

    How does wondering if she’s fat or pregnant turn into a badly written rape-y joke? Smells like desperation.

  22. Anna

    its just bloating. IBS!

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