Here’s How Gangster Katie Holmes Is

While Scientology tries to make Tom Cruise look like he wanted the divorce because he’s a born-and-bred pussy-slayer that can’t be tied down, reports based on reality continue to portray Katie Holmes’s escape like the episode of The Wire it is. Bitch was using a burner! Via The LA Times:

Katie Holmes set the wheels in motion for her divorce from Tom Cruise using a throwaway cellphone provided by a friend to initially talk to her lawyers and avoid her husband knowing about the conversations, according to a source familiar with the divorce.
The move allowed her to prepare her legal case without Cruise and his staff knowing she was about to exit the marriage and left him shocked at the sudden divorce. By the time a deal was struck last weekend to end the marriage, she hired three law firms in three states.

Except that’s not even the most gangster part, or even the fact that she basically got everything she wanted in an instant settlement. (Although, firing her step-daughter Bella in the early stages of the divorce planning was some ice-cold shit.) No, the most gangster part is that Katie Holmes wrote a movie about a single mom leaving her husband while she was married to Tom Cruise and got him to give her notes. An anecdote I remembered from his Playboy interview last month which at the time he thought was a cute little story that would make people think she’s capable of hobbies despite all the drugs he pumps into her food:

She is an extraordinary person, and if you spent five minutes with her, you’d see it. Everything she does, she does with this beautiful creativity. When she becomes interested in something, she doesn’t talk about it, she does it. One week I said to her, “You’ve been up in the middle of the night. Is everything okay?” She smiled and then threw this thing on my desk and said, “I wrote this script.” She wanted to try it, and she did.

Of course, why would Tom Cruise even consider this a red flag when we’re talking about a man who believes he possesses galactic powers that allow him to control the thoughts and actions of others? He probably thought he made her do it with his mind. “Kate, press this shirt.” *watches her sit down and start typing instead* “I mean, write. Write a script. The cosmos demand it! (Showed her.)”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN