Katie Holmes & Jamie Foxx Caught Holding Hands, Are Totally Doing It
It’s been almost two years since the rumors first started that Jamie Foxx was giving Katie Holmes her groove back – *slams fingers in piano* Bad! Bad, fingers. NO. – but finally we can all rest comfortably knowing the truth because Us Weekly has confirmed the two have been secretly dating which proves everything you read on the Internet is true. Specifically the following sentences: Hilary Duff, my penis is a magic genie that grants wishes. I’m not in your shed.
“Jamie is someone she can trust and have fun with,” a mutual pal tells Us of Holmes, who shares 8-year-old daughter Suri with ex-hubby Cruise, to whom she was married from 2006 to 2012. “She’s getting everything from Jamie that she didn’t get with Tom.”
Foxx, for his part, is equally taken with the Dawson’s Creek alum. According to one insider, he even refers to her using the term of endearment “my girl” — as in, “My girl is calling.”
And how is America’s Midget Space Jesus taking the news? Not fucking well. TMZ reports:
Sources close to both Tom and Katie tell us they do not communicate at all. There are no direct co-parenting discussions. Everything regarding Suri — visitation, child-rearing, etc. — is handled through intermediaries.
Our sources say there are bad feelings on both sides, and no desire on either Tom or Katie’s part to mend fences.
And there’s this … we’ve been told there is some sort of relationship between Katie and Jamie Foxx. Our Tom sources wouldn’t comment on the relationship, but say Tom has been concerned in the past with other boyfriends because of a possible negative influence on Suri.
Now before everyone goes, “Negative influences? Oh, what, because Jamie Foxx is black?” Tom Cruise is a Scientologist, so everyone who hasn’t been reeducated in a custom trailer built by slaves is a negative influence to him. We’re talking about a guy whose religion literally equates Katie Holmes with Hitler because she left him instead of recognizing his rightful claim to the Galaxian Throne of Quasar VII. Marriages are built on trust, Katie.