Katie Holmes is Becoming Self-Aware

June 28th, 2011 // 48 Comments

“Oh, he’s gay, haha! I get it now.”

Seen here showing a wide range of emotions that suggest she’s more Thetan than alien race car driver now – *consults Dianetics* Nailed it. – Katie Holmes took the time from her own movie premiere to talk about how awesome Tom Cruise is or else he dresses Suri in an outfit from Old Navy because his heart is black and presumably full of angel rape. Via E! News:

Suri’s mom was lookin’ darn pretty in a Contrarian minidress and Lanvin stilettos at last night’s Los Angeles Film Festival closing-night screening of her latest movie, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. But we gotta admit, we were a little more interested to find out what she thinks of hubby Tom Cruise’s work as an ’80s hair band singer in the Rock of Ages flick. “My husband,” Holmes gushed, “is blowing me away.”

“Blowing me away,” interesting word choice. Even moreso when compared to other comments Katie’s made about Tom’s performances in the past:

War of the Worlds (2005): “When he talked about the aliens long, throbbing tentacles, you can feel a real sense of awe and reverence. It was inspiring.”

Mission: Impossible III (2006): “Why… can’t I.. think.. word.. stuff?”

Lions For Lambs (2007): “It’s like seeing a heterosexual man interested only in vaginal intercourse thrust onto the screen with absolutely no interest in butt sex – *KZZAAPPP!* – Context! CONTEXT, MOTHERFUCKER!”

Tropic Thunder (2008): “So hilarious! I just wanted to laugh and put on a cowboy outfit and then cry because I can’t grow a mustache the way he likes… Holy shit, these pills are wearing off!”

Valkyrie (2008): “Kanf youff fear me frough fis fuzzle.”

Knight and Day (2010): “Sometimes you forget what a great action star is. He just blows men away. Blows them all night.”

Rock of Ages (2011): “My husband is blowing me away. — Did I do it right?”

Photo: Splash News


  1. Artie Fatbuckle

    A backless dress with a plunging neckline and NO SIDEBOOB? WTF????

  2. goose

    Jesus, does Tom swing from those things and prentend it’s a live-action version of Pitfall?

  3. Doc Schweinstrudel

    SO a Catholic who wears an S sign on her neck instead of a cross?
    Nice nice. Of course Tom is no despote

    • Pippa

      Well the “S” could be her daughters initial. But I agree, Tom Cruise had completely fucked up this beautiful catholic girl mentally.

  4. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    SO PRETTY!!!

  5. Melissa

    She is really fucking pretty. Naturally pretty and keeps getting better with age. Wow.

  6. Drew

    Eh, I’d take a perfect pair of fakes over those. At least I can’t confuse saline with a breakfast food.

  7. Sian

    I think maybe that’s just some weird shadow over her cleavage? Cause I remember her topless from that one movie with Cate Blanchett a couple of years ago, and breasts looked indeed awesome, Drundel is right. I just can’t believe they could have deflated this much in such a short time, makes no sense baby or no baby.

  8. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    She can be so pretty and so amazingly ugly in a matter of milliseconds!

  9. Outspoken

    I love Pancake boobs… Not

  10. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Legs. Nice.

  11. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she’d like to give me a blowjob..

  12. Turd Ferguson

    She definitely looks better with some color, but the poor thing still has the 1000 mile stare…TCLTC

  13. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    she has got some serious flapjack tittay

  14. puddleduck

    Those are some seriously saggy titties for someone as young as she is. Kudos honey for keeping it real, but damn, if they look that fucking bad…cover ‘em up!

  15. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, she looks better now than she has in years.

  16. Arzach

    She looks hot conscious

  17. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m really surprised! No microphone blow job jokes?

  18. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom was not there because she’s wearing heels, -”Where’s my photo stool? damit! “-

  19. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice naked back and nice gams!

  20. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Flip flops on the chest!!

  21. dotmatrix

    Does little Tom like playing with his beanbags?

  22. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    those are some serious flapjacks. her face is pretty though.

    • Blech


      Rock on, Katie. You look stunning! Keep blowing these blond plastic bitches out of the water, please.

      • Anon

        Blech is an insecure mong who sucks men off and cries when they never call her back! D’awwww….

        It’s fun to make assumptions about people just for saying stuff on the internets! :D

        Fred is right. Flapjack city. She’s hot, but not a good choice to showcase those in that cut.

      • a, north vancouver, bc CANADA

        funny – but personally, me thinks she’s an UGLY mutt.

  23. the one

    seen the look in her eyes?

  24. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Meet the new spokeswoman for IHOP.

  25. Safety man

    When the spaceship comes, Tom promises that he will stop wrestling with the young boys, and will play with me.

  26. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    What do you mean a range of emotions Fish, she’s clearly just short circuited there

  27. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwww she’s hiding pancakes under that dress!

  28. Trillian

    I just wish she could say one sentence that didn’t come out of only one side of her mouth – it’s like watching Jean Chretien give a speech.

    (For the Americans, he was a Canadian Prime Minister with Bells Palsy paralyzing half his face)

  29. Pippa

    Been watching reruns of Dawson’s Creek. This girl was sweet and beautiful. What the fuck happened to her. Brainwashed doesn’t even begin to describe it. Tom Cruise well and truly fucked with this girls head. Terrible tragedy. She should’ve never left Josh

  30. JN

    She’s lookin’ damn good…. especially those legs. OW!!

  31. Whats up with that POPEYE Smile….all she need’s is his pipe!!
    Her acting sucks and she cant dress or think for herself…all she did was score a RIch and Krazyy husband for herself!
    Oh yeahh she did get a beautiful daughter outta tha deal!!

    He just sucked the Youth out of her thats why she has GRANNT boobs :(

  32. Lola

    Oh, those poor boobies!

  33. Katie Holmes
    a, north vancouver, bc CANADA
    Commented on this photo:

    funny!!! she TOTALLY used him. even though i started to think he a creep some years ago, i truly believe she used him BIG TIME.

    like what did she say, “i used to dream of marrying TC.” she must like older men – what, when she turned ten he was 40? YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK.

    she’s definitely CONTAMINATED goods – just YUCK ! and that bratty effin’ kid – again, YUCK!

  34. Katie Holmes
    a, north vancouver, bc CANADA
    Commented on this photo:

    yes, im doing an impression of my bratty, effin’, ugly, kid!

  35. Katie Holmes
    a, north vancouver, bc CANADA
    Commented on this photo:

    oh im so cute.another ugly impression of her bratty effin’ ugly kid.

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