Katie Holmes in a Bikini is Probably Dying

June 20th, 2011 // 158 Comments

Here’s Katie Holmes in Miami over the weekend where her stomach looks like this which proves Tom Cruise uses it to ride dirt-bikes on as I’ve always suspected. That, or the Thetans trying to flee her body decided to audition for the role of Pruneface in the Dick Tracy reboot. I should probably wait for all the facts on this one.

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:


  2. stink-pants


  3. God is Black

    photos can be misleading, pic#1 she looks healthy and stomach tone , but then pic#3 WTF?So many ripples of skin, HOW?

    • Drew

      She had a kid, dipshit. She’s obviously has been too busy offering sacrifices to Xenu to bother working it off.

      Slow day Fish?

    • Big Ass Bunny Feet

      Tom doesn’t believe in meds right? That would rule out a tummy tuck.

    • Yawn

      Are you people fucking high? She HAD A BABY. This is what happens when a human chills in your enormous stomach for 9 months and then the stomach attempts to return to normal. Fucking hell, this site must be full of stupid children. Come on fish man, this is scraping the barrel.

  4. .unknown.

    she had a baby?

  5. God is Black

    I meant pic#4, Due to having Suri?

  6. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like my Shar Pei!

  7. DKNY

    Tara Reid 2.0?

  8. damon

    Holy shit, she has a kid, no ones stomach looks perfect after kids, no one…give her a break, she is toned, and yes havin a baby DOES stretch out the stomach skin, at least her tummy is flat, how many woman have kids and look like they are still pregnant a year later/???LOTS! Lay off Katie, she is with her kid all the time, is a good mom, is always there, the ripples of skin are from having her belly stretched out during pregnancy, it happens, and she has no fat to push it out, she looks damn good for having a kid, leave her alone.

  9. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    nice nips

  10. Dude of Dudes

    Stomach transplant from Tara Reid?

  11. God is Black

    Suri the Queen of Scientology………………..Seriously Fucked Up

  12. It had to be said

    I know that most of you don’t know how babies work, but the mommy “loves” a turkey baster (in her case) and then the baby grows in her tummy. The tummy skin gets bigger . . .

    • Lemmiwinks

      Yes, it was a stupid sacrifice to make for a dixie cup sperm donation from a dyslexic dwarf scientologist… with all due respect.
      On the bright side, it might not have been Tom’s sperm, perhaps he just spit in the cup.

      • Jovy

        “Dixie cup sperm donation from a dyslexic dwarf Scientologist”

        Well that was fun to read, thanks Dr.Seuss.

  13. Dan

    Yeah, Katie Holmes seems too nice to make fun of the excess skin on her stomach because she was pregnant – especially when the only reason she has it is she is in great shape.

    Most women would never have this problem because they never fully lose the weight gained in pregnancy. You don’t have extra skin with a muffin top.

    And many women have the guy locked in after a kid, so they don’t care how they look (or put out).

    I think she looks great.

    • a, north vancouver, bc CANADA

      dan (the ass-holed mysogenist), you’re probably a saggy-balled like it up the rear kind of guy!

  14. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Poster girl for anorexia.

  15. The Critical Crassness

    While the stomach ripples may be due to having had Suri…it is a better bet that they are a visual manifestation of her feelings toward being touched by Tom Cruise,i.e. he makes her stomach crawl!

  16. DM

    It’s from having a baby- Even if you get fit after which she did- A lot of women will have the wrinkles if they bend over… Hell some even have them if they don’t. You do realize how much the skin stretches from having a little one? I have it when I bend, it is pretty gross but very common. You just have to be aware of it and not bend to look nice. Or maybe she just doesn’t give a fuck!

  17. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    That has to be one of the grossest things I’ve ever seen on this website, second to Gary Shirley’s buttcrack.

  18. Jo

    this is what happens when you give birth to the devil child of Xenu

  19. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Jimmy Earl
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Crap! Looks like an alien is about to pop out of her back…. Is that human anatomy?

  20. K fed

    The reason she looks like that is b/c she’s really really lean. On most people that skin would be full of bagels and cream cheese.

    • Richard McBeef

      She’s on a semen only diet, but Travolta steals most of the nutrients before he shits it into her mouth.

  21. elle

    Her stomach isn’t the problem here. She just has an unfortunate figure all together. She’s not in proportion, tree trunk legs, etc. and there’s not much she can do about it either.

  22. littlelatina

    That is what happens when you have a baby. She definitely has had no plastic surgery

  23. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Breaking News: Most women, not all, but let’s just say a lot, do not have perfect stomachs after childbirth. Excess skin happens quite a bit. God forbid a celebrity have stretch marks!

    • mucous

      so Crissa has a nasty streched out stomache? I pity your husband, no wonder he most likely cheats.

      • qwerty

        What you don’t get is that the fact that she had a kid “a while ago” doesn’t change anything.It’s not due to lack of exercise and/or pigging out on donuts. No amount of exercise will help you lose excess of SKIN,this can only be removed by a tummy tuck.

    • oy

      Hey Carissa, I get it, the whole childbearing thing. But she had the kid a while ago and she’s in Hollywood so she’s held to a different standard.

      Not to mention, ew.

      • Carissa has missed the point that hollywood celebrities are PAID to look good…and this is gross. If she were some random chick on the beach, nobody cares…but her fucking JOB is to look good.

    • Erica

      i think there wouldn’t be so much excess skin if she hadn’t just dieted herself down to a frankly emaciated shape. so it’s not a “natural” state for women anyway. she’s way too skinny.

    • shonzie

      wow! chick had a baby. cut her some slack.

    • the penis

      Yea that’s why you shouldn’t have kids.

    • LEB

      @McFeely Smackup — She DOES look good. She has an excellent body/figure that for 99% of what she does for a living serves her well. She just wouldn’t be the best bikini model, but how often is she in a bikini in her movies? Pretty much never.

      A tummy tuck will get rid of extra skin, but if she’s considering having one at some point, it would be unwise to do it before she’s finished having kids. Having a tummy tuck and then getting pregnant again is bad, bad, bad. Besides, if anything she needs to GAIN some weight, because she’s just too bony. Putting on 5-10 lbs would probably help disguise some of the loose belly skin, too.

  24. Brett

    Still hot.

  25. Lemmiwinks

    She has a reasonably good bod… for a teenage boy. Undoubtedly part of the master plan.

  26. Burrito Supreme

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what the hell happened to her tits?

  27. MarkM

    I would just say “for God’s sake…please don’t bend over while I’m f#@$ing you!”

  28. Clarence Beeks

    she has a gross bellybutton, and terrible legs, but besides that she looks fine.

  29. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Come on, this isn’t about excess skin, or post baby body, etc. This is just terrible! Come on! Did she do lipo or sth? Or was this photoshopped? I just don’t understand how her tummy can possibly, possibly look like this! It looks like a 65 year old woman’s body. Even that!

    • Big Ass Bunny Feet

      Are you kidding me? This is very typical of a post baby body. Part of the reason i’m never having kids.

  30. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Common… she had a baby…not everybody is so lucky …

  31. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    People, get REAL, she is BENDING OVER. Skin wrinkles when it’s bent. When she stands up, her stomach is as flat is a board. If anything, she is too thin. She has an amazing body. So sorry her SKIN offends you people. Photoshop in magazines has destroyed what we think of as “normal”. Anyone who thinks her stomach is somehow ABNORMAL has never spent much time with another human being, let alone a real woman. Enjoy your Real Dolls, people. (Oh, and here’s another SHOCKER – a vagina has HAIR and is MOIST – THE HORROR)

  32. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately for Kati, her plastic surgeon grew up on a farm, so “washboard abs” meant something different to him.

  33. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    When I did Carissa her pus gut was a train wreck worse than this pic!

  34. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    MMMMMM!! Lasagna belly!

  35. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE HAD A BABY you jackasses. This is what your future Wife/Mother of your children will look like. She hasn’t had a tummy tuck – big fucking deal.

    • dododome

      I paid for my wife’s tummy tuck after our second child. Her stomach is as smooth as a drumskin now. Sucks for you that you can’t afford one. I guess in your case, you have no other alternative but console yourself with “this is what a real woman looks like” mantra. Yea…good luck with that.

      • LEB

        Sucks for your kids that you prioritized making their mother look like Barbie over funding their college educations.

  36. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    NYC I Banker
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom is starving his wife to death …

  37. Tom Cruise looks pretty good disguised as his wife.

  38. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Leave Katie alone, after she popped out a kid she’s been used as a cyborg from Ninja turtles carrying Dr. Baxter Stockman’s brain in her

  39. Jeannette

    Yep unless you have good genes having a kid will do that to your stomach. Mine is the same and no amount of exercise will fix the stretched out skin. But… I don’t wear a bikini anymore for this reason…

  40. So, her stomach has skin ripples from having a baby? Just wanted to clear that up …

    Her figure is non-descript. The stomach isn’t the issue, it’s the lack of … shape. Not good when I think she looks better with her clothes on. Overall she’s pretty but not sexy.

  41. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    She gave birth. You can’t take the abdomen of a slim woman and bulge it out with something bigger than a basketball and not expect some fallout. Other than the fact that she looks like she could use a cheeseburger or three, she looks really good.

    And being married to Tom Cruise, she has bigger problems than the tautness of her stomach.

  42. Farber

    She looks HORRIBLE, and those shorts are hiding some pretty awful stretch marks too.

  43. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    First of all, she isn’t too skinny or emaciated…she’s clearly healthy and athletic. Nicole Richie was emaciated…American’s are just so overweight and unhealthy they can’t recognize “fit” anymore…she’s muscular, try lifting a weight once in while and figure it out. And secondly…she had a child and has chosen not to go butcher herself at the plastic surgeons office. We should be applauding her instead of ripping apart any little thing we can find. Grow up people. I bet half of you nasty commentators are fat, stretch marked, lazy asses anyway. Look in the mirror next time before you go criticizing others. You should be so lucky to have even a fraction of her fitness, health, or looks.

    • LEB

      No, she’s underweight. She’s fit, but she would look better with another 5-10 lbs on her. Women need a certain amount of body fat for hormones to function normally.

      By the way, this is coming from someone who as of this morning weighed 117 lbs.

    • a, north vancouver, bc CANADA

      nicole you’re an effin’ brown noser. u probably think she’s going to read your comment. loser.

  44. kwin

    This guys opinions about Katie are Superficial.

  45. orley

    you people are ignorant and annoying. She had a baby. Like every single woman who has a baby there are wrinkles. This is life. Not every person in this world is so self consumed they need plastic surgery after a pregnancy.

  46. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Would anybody be surprised if a Sarlacc popped out of that thing?

  47. Megan

    That’s what happens when ur stomach stretches to the size of a pumpkin dumbass

  48. Harriscanoit

    Hey Tom Cruise. I want the truth!! what did you do too her boobs you monster!!! That does not look like the same chick from “The Gift”. They are supposed to get bigger not disappear.

  49. Daaaaaang

    Yeah, this post of pics is super annoying. She has a small frame that got large from pregnancy. Seriously, who cares. She looks great. Plus, maybe she is planning on having another kid… why get the skin pulled when it might happen again? Good for her for not going under the knife when she can pretty much shit money.

  50. Katie Holmes Bikini Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s be honest here – none of us really know what goes on in Scientology alien birth scenarios. I’m envisioning little Suri popping out like that scene in Alien. Maybe Suri got stuck, and Tom had to climb inside Katie to try and get her out. Regardless, that shit is way beyond the skill level of even the most expensive plastic surgeon. Only the blood of L. Ron Hubbard can cure a wound so hideous.

    • a, north vancouver, bc CANADA

      gotto hand it to u – pretty funny. that’s what happens when you sqeeze a midget out of ur ass every nite and gain half ur own weight with yet a midget child.

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