Katie Holmes is Still Wearing Bikinis, And Still Dying Out Of Her Stomach

July 18th, 2011 // 108 Comments

While my initial intro to this post was to say it wouldn’t be fair to have an entire post of Tom Cruise shirtless without some Katie Holmes in a bikini, I forgot her stomach goes through a sloughing period whenever her penis button retracts. And for those of you saying women look like this after they just had a baby, Suri Cruise is five and doesn’t enter and re-enter Katie Holmes’ uterus at random. Unless, of course, she only emerges to probe Tom Cruise’s mind and inform him of a device that provides oxygen to Mars. In which case, I’m listening.

Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Que

    Que wut?

    • Hugh Gentry

      why the fuck won’t she wear a one piece suit? Nobody wants to see the old man face below her belly button.

      • BE

        Valley of the Dolls –> Tom LIKES the bikini! Then men turn away from her. And toward him.

        No corrective surgeries – especially in her profession – same reason. Or much worse – they’re planning another kid. But that’s hard to believe since Suri’s five already.

  2. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever, I think she looks really good!

  3. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Roofies Yum
    Commented on this photo:

    Quaid open your mind to me, ooooopen your miiiiind, open your miiiiiiiiiiind.

  4. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Katie. Pregnancy does ruin women’s bodies, but most of us don’t have people following us around taking close up shots of the devastation. At least she has the money to get things lifted, tucked and lasered. She needs to take care of that.

  5. admittedly she’s rockin the bikini but she needs to get preg again, that’d tighten up her tummy and give her tits again

    • kimmykimkim

      Her tits look like empty ziplock bags. Snack size, not sandwich size. And not like NEW empty ziplock snack sizers but, more like some that have been used, rinsed, reused, rinsed again…I really should’ve put tits in quotes up there…

  6. HarveyF

    OMG that is an ugly stomach, specially in those close-ups… and Fish is right, don’t start withe baby thing; they (or at least Tom) have tons of money, they could have done something about her body a long ago… I guess when you like skinny girls, the more skin the better!!! :S

    • beth

      hey,why the penis jokes? it does look like she’s packing south of the navel…she is a beautiful woman,but seriously,she needs to gain some LBS

  7. the captain

    seen her navel?

    I’m sure!!!

  8. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I have heard of a 6 pack, but that is ridiculous.

  9. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


  10. Ay takers on how many gay things Mcunfunny Smackup is gonna say today? She’s nothing like the sexxxy Katie from Disturbing Behavior.

    • geez what crawled up your ass? it’s only it’s monday morning.. how about ragging on the people who get PAID to get ragged on..

      ‘any’ is spelled a-n-y

      • Sorry for the misspell, your mother is bouncing on my dick too hard while I’m trying to type. Silly bitch.

      • wow you really showed me. for a moment i thought maybe that’s mcfeely. zero chance, you’re not even slightly witty

      • Richard McBeef

        Wait just a second. Am I reading this right? You made a joke about having sex with DDD’s mom, when you probably don’t even know her? OMG OMG OMG that is sooooo funny. I have honestly never heard that kind of joke before. It’s like you took this woman, his mom, who he probably cares for and doesn’t want to think of in sexual type scenarios and then BAM! you put her in a sexual type scenario and not just with anybody. With you! Classic. Spot on. That is soooo funny. Honestly you should start selling that kind of material to McUnfunny SmackUp.

      • I thought it was supposed to say, “ay.” I read it in a pirate voice, which actually made it funny. Recommend: Read Ultraman’s posts in a pirate voice.

      • Richard McBeef

        agree with the pirate voice.

    • kimmykimkim

      Ultraman, it sounds like you have a jealous crush on McFeely! He’s so much funnier than you and consistently makes TMIPOTI. That really bothers you doesn’t it? Don’t you just wanna anger fuck him? Ah-yeah, that’d be real nice, wouldn’t it?

      • Ultramann

        Aye, t’would be quite a pleasure to give ye old McFeely a proper buggerin’. Me leg isn’t the only part o’ me that be long and stiff and wooden. Tis true, I’d tear up his briny starfish hole like a scalawag landlubber who’d had a wee bit much o’ the rum juice.

      • my money says he talks like richard simmons

    • Deryn

      That’s more of a leprechaun voice. Et tee teh tay ter too!

  11. Richard McBeef

    what the fuck is in that bikini top?

  12. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Daily Moisturizing
    Commented on this photo:

    If she moves it just right she could pretend it was Jabba the Hut. Can’t you see the big chin! Perfect.

  13. Deacon Jones

    Man, my fiancee is going to lose her fucking mind when she gets pregnant.

  14. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Daily Moisturizing
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks angry.

  15. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re telling me she can’t afford decent plastic surgery to pull that shit back together and lose that gi-normous belly button??? Tommy boy must be savign all the mone for his anal bleaching procedures.

    • TomFrank

      “Tell you what, honey. We’ll pay for the tummy tuck with everything more you make by passing up The Dark Knight to do Mad Money.”

  16. oh

    fantastic post-baby

  17. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    *saving all the money. Keys aren’t working today. :)

  18. dr.jimmy

    It’s nearly criminal to let girls think that this horrid dformation is a result of pregnancy. Michelle Hunziker was pregnant too, Kourtney Kardashian (I don’t like her but her belly is spotless) too. As well as Brooke Bourke (4 times), Adriana Lima, Gisele, Miranda Kerr and countless happy mothers wose bellies don’t look like shar-peis. Even Octomon doesn’t have that Jabba flab, tummy-tuck or not.

    • Shyt

      But on the flip side you have Heidi Klum, Cindy Crawford, and Julia Roberts who have the Frankentummy. And don’t get me started on the monstrosity of Kelly Ripa’s “stomach.” Maybe it’s genetics or the weight gain during pregnancy that cause it.

      • dr.jimmy

        Heidi Klum? Are you sure? I’ve seen a photo she made of herself and posted on FB yesterday and no stretch marks on it. Cindy? Strange case. One famous set of photos with strtchies from I think 2007 and no stretch marks on any candid photos made after it. Julia Roberts? True. She always seemed to me the celeb completely not caring for her look (the hairy armpits…wrr)

      • reformed_druid

        It is totally genetics. If your skin has no elasticity to begin with, it isn’t going to snap back after pregnancy. Losing all that weight in order to look like a skeleton didn’t help much either. If she still looks like this after all this time, surgery is the only answer to make it go away.

      • BE

        Dr. Jimmy – have you never heard of something called retouching? I hate to enlighten you, but they are airbrushed/digitally enhanced to remove just those details. And scar removal is the tip of the iceberg. I hate to burst your bubble but since my sister makes a good living altering ad and magazine images. All professional media is enhanced.



        And FYI – any idiot with photoshop and ten can clean up a photo. Do you live under a rock?

      • BE

        PS1 – If you’re going to cite their “glowing and beautiful” skin in public, it’s the airbrush makeup applicators. It’s faster than putting it on by hand and it smooths things out, making it easier for retouching-


  19. she has no curves at all

  20. HarveyF

    LOL, watch out, Kelly Brook’s bikini photo is right next to Katie’s , almost in the same pose. OMG what a difference!!! Maybe I should click on her gallery again ;)

  21. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, who slipped in a pic of Tara Reid?

  22. HarveyF

    Shar-peis, LOLOL

  23. HarveyF

    Fantastic… as in “Shit hitting the fan-tastic”, right?

  24. dr.jimmy

    Posted on FB:
    Stretch marks are fugly with no need of an ideology (real woman, real mother, real body, real whatever) attached to it. It’s a body deformation. I have them around my armpits from growing up and some not very smart fitness choices. I completely hate them, even I’m a male and they are not in a very exposed bodypart. Having something that feels like a portions of skin of an 80year old attached to a 27 body is for me really disgusting. When I save more money I’ll gert rid of them to the extent of have that portion of skin removed.

  25. Katie Holmes Bikini
    NYC I Banker
    Commented on this photo:


  26. Katie Holmes Bikini
    NYC I Banker
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my fucking god! What an ugly ducklin’ anorexic!

  27. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Xenu has returned!!

  28. Inmate 12236969

    Wow looks like the local crack ho down the street.

  29. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this one of those bad camera angles or are those big manly flipper feet

  30. OMG. Where did her fab tits go? Am I the only one who remembers “The Gift”?? Tom must have her on hormone treatments… Testosterone hormone treatments… Only explanation….

  31. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    wow just wow ;-(

  32. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just something that happens to some women–it has nothing to do with being fit, it’s just the skin gets stretched out from having another person live inside you for nine months. If a really obese person loses a bunch of weight the same thing happens. It’s not going away unless she has a tummy tuck. Which I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten–it’s not like they don’t have any money.

  33. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She was so cute. 10 years ago.

  34. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, a Sasquatch with stretchmarks – haaaawt.

  35. potter

    what happened to the tits she had on Dawsons creek?

  36. Mr. Sensitivity

    She’s Tom Cruise’s “wife” – of course she’s slowly morphing into a child-producing prepubscent boy with a chronically sore anus. It’s what Michael Jackson would have done with Lisa Marie Presley if he had access to Scientology’s cellular reconstruction equipment.

  37. cc

    Oh man, I am going to get my hands on a figure this sexy.
    *heads downstairs*
    ‘Hellooooo, ironing board.’

  38. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s loaded – why doesn’t she get that mess taken care of??????

  39. Tom

    Still looks miles better than any of the blonde trash on this site.

  40. CoCo

    No shape, no titties, no boner

  41. harriscandoit

    Forget celebrity chicks who have gotten pregnant and look good after virtually ever girl I know got back to the way she was after the baby. It is not “natural”to look horrible after pregnancy and you don’t have to get surgery to look better. Its called eating right and taking care of yourself.

    • Gemma

      The way ones stomach looks after a pregnancy has a liot to do with genetics. Some womens skin goes back to normal after the first baby, some doesnt.

  42. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    worst… boobs…. EVER.

    • peoplearesoignorant

      Okay what the hell is up with all these hateful comments. she looks DAMN GOOD in a bikini and I would be willing to bet everyone of you is sitting at home on your fat asses too scared to wear a bikini in public. I’d be willing to bet none of you are even nearly as tiny as she is, or as accomplished, and more than likely youre a single loner freak. How about all of you people stop obsessing over some else’s life (someone you will never meet) and get your OWN god damn life!

  43. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    It seems “The Gift” was returned.
    Perhaps Tom exchanged it for his pool hat?


  44. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly she doesn’t give a fuck. Good for her.

  45. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww, come on man! I’m trying to eat here.

  46. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s called having a kid. Pregnancy will do that, no matter how skinny you get. she looks incredible.

  47. who knew

    So what, she obviously takes care of herself. YES that is extra skin from having a baby. You can’t excercise that skin flap away. Her only options are live with it or get a tummy tuck. If she plans on having more in the future, what is the point of a tummy tuck, she’ll just need another one? I bet all your wives have that and more, get over it!

  48. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    But in the water, she has a semblance of a rack. Boo, gravity!

  49. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Expert on Everything
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what EVERY woman’s stomach skin looks like after pregnancy. The skin stretches. 99% of women aren’t photographed in every possible position so YOU don’t know that. But EVERY woman will have this skin when bent over or even down a little bit allowing the skin to gather and look like this. It’s very easy to hide if your not stalked by papparazzi, my hubby does not know my ab skin does this because I can hide it (and do). He just thinks I’m super woman and popped out his babe sanz a trace. Not to mention, Tom and Katy are kinda boring in their great marriage. I’m so bored at any word of them because they are so average and normal. Stinking rich (which is the only weird shit about them), but so normal it’s stupid to read about how crazed they all are because it just seems so not likely. Just me.

  50. Katie Holmes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    NOT photoshopped. She had a baby! That’s what it looks like after you have a baby and don’t have plastic surgery. Deal with it fellas… this is your future.

Leave A Comment